redrose123 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Why would my ex break up with me, come crying back the next day promising to treat me better and work on things and of course me being dumb Give him another chance.. Then a month later he is still not making an effort so I end things and he admits that he thinks it's best and wants "space". Now it has been almost 5 weeks and he has not initiated contact with Me once except the day after the break up to ask if I was ok!! I just don't understand how someone can come crawling back and then have a change of heart so suddenly. His entire family thinks he will regret this one day. I also told him he will regret it and he said "i probably will but im not thinking about the future right now" what the heck? I know I need to move on and I would not be able to trust him if he did come back but I'm so confused.. I feel like I had the power after the initial break up and I want it back!!
robertmathis1026 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 "You can't change other people but you surely can change yourself" i think you shpuld "self-improvement" make your ex want to change for you, make your feel scared if you leave your ex Are you SUFFERING THE PAIN, because your ex DUMP you? Can You imagine, if you can make your ex BEGGING TO BACK WITH YOU? click here to make it HAPPEN!!
smudge21 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Often when we leave something (or even someone) despite how much we wanted to leave, once that person or place is gone from us, we miss it. It could've been the most unhealthy thing to be around, but once it's out of our lives, it leaves an empty void. A hole that needs filling. So many of us often rush back, thinking we've made a big mistake, but we're only going back because we're afraid and unsure. You see it a lot here, where couples get back together only to end for good a short time later. It's like they come back, then remember the reason they left and so leave again. It's harsh but there's nothing you can do about it. If the reason for leaving in the first place hasn't been dealt with, then the problem hasn't been fixed and it's still there - so nothing has changed, despite how they feel. I totally get that having the power line and now you feel he's taken control and has left you empty. You need to now focus on what you know is the truth and that is that it's time to move on, heal and work on yourself. Avoid all contact and don't respond to him should he come back looking again. You know for a fact that nothing has changed so you'd only be heading for more heartache. You will get that power back slowly over time.
TaraMaiden Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 ignore robertmathis1026, he's just a spammer. he had to write something to hide the external link in his post, but he's just an 'empty' contributor.... Why would my ex break up with me, come crying back the next day ... Then a month later he is still not making an effort so I end things and .... it has been almost 5 weeks and he has not initiated contact with me once except the day after the break up to ask if I was ok!! thank your lucky stars... don't you see you dodged the bullet? I just don't understand how someone can come crawling back and then have a change of heart so suddenly. .... 'Cake and eat it' merchant... perhaps he just wanted to see what you were made of... who knows...? One of the worst things anyone can do is to try to get into the mind of someone we thought we knew well, but we eventually discover we didn't know at all. It drives us nuts, and we need answers. the only answer you'll get - is that there isn't one..... I know I need to move on Yes, sweetheart, you do.... and I would not be able to trust him if he did come back.. Not that there is any slight, remote chance of you ever even thinking of taking him back.... right? but I'm so confused.. I feel like I had the power after the initial break up and I want it back!! You'll get it back once two things have happened; One, you stop asking questions based on why he did *this*, and how on earth could he do *that*.... because you cannot ever second-guess anyone's actions, and even if you could ask them, you wouldn't get a straight or honest answer.... Such puzzles are pointless, and a waste of valuable time, to tackle. The questions should never be "why/what is s/he doing....?" but - "what do I do now?" And what you do - is simply carry on, carrying on.... Two, you actually thank him for doing all this, because it reinforces in your mind that (a) he truly isn't worth investing any time in, because he's untrustworthy, fickle and unreliable, and (b) he's helped you raise the standards bar, in knowing precisely what kind of guy you're looking for, and what you will and will not put up with. breathe deeply, smile, shrug, put it down and keep going! (One last thing: Try to minimalise contact with his family - that just reinforces a connection you don't need right now....) 1
Author redrose123 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 Thanks taramaiden! I have limited contact with his family but it is hard because I was so close to them especially to his mom. I used to hang out at his house with Her without him there and she even asked me to start calling her mom. She told me I'd always be a part of her family that she saw me as her own daughter and I could go to her to talk if I needed to (which I've only done once). But it does hurt because if she cared so much i would think shed reach out to me more to ask how I've been. She only contacted me a few days later to ask how I was and in regards to her son she said "sometimes people just change and need time and space" which I think is a bs excuse. I've cut off all contact with them and have deleted my Facebook because she then went on to start posting statuses about how great her son was and she never has done that while we were dating. It's like she was throwing him in my face when he's the one who doesn't want me. I feel bad because I lost a part of what I really believed was family to me. And by the way I found out back in September that he bought me an engagement ring (he doesn't know that I found out) so I think that's why it's so hard to let go because how could someone go out with the thought I wanna marry this girl and just a few months later not even care to talk to her..
BMZMJ Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Thanks taramaiden! I have limited contact with his family but it is hard because I was so close to them especially to his mom. I used to hang out at his house with Her without him there and she even asked me to start calling her mom. She told me I'd always be a part of her family that she saw me as her own daughter and I could go to her to talk if I needed to (which I've only done once). But it does hurt because if she cared so much i would think shed reach out to me more to ask how I've been. She only contacted me a few days later to ask how I was and in regards to her son she said "sometimes people just change and need time and space" which I think is a bs excuse. I've cut off all contact with them and have deleted my Facebook because she then went on to start posting statuses about how great her son was and she never has done that while we were dating. It's like she was throwing him in my face when he's the one who doesn't want me. I feel bad because I lost a part of what I really believed was family to me. And by the way I found out back in September that he bought me an engagement ring (he doesn't know that I found out) so I think that's why it's so hard to let go because how could someone go out with the thought I wanna marry this girl and just a few months later not even care to talk to her.. My ex broke up with me and she was also close to my mom and have even met up after this break up...SO i understand you
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