Leigh 87 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Do you ever have doubts that the relationship will last, while still knowing it could very well work out? There are those couples, normally the soppy ones, who KNOW they want to spend the rest of their lives together. Like my boyfriends friends on facebook, who are due to get married, and BOTH post facebook things like " your my angel, your so beautiful, your my best friend, blablablabla" :sick:Personally, that is not my style, nor is it hat my boyfriend is inclined towards. We feel sick and laugh at that sort of expression, albiet not in a mean spirated way. We are just not like that. WIthout the sop, that couple just KNOW they are so serious and want to spend their lives together. I am sure you all know of a couple or two, who are just obviously comitted and have planned a future and are really strong and happy together? They are best friends, and it is the real deal? Me and my boyfriend feel that way, we are very close and we are each others favourite people to be around. We just do not display it and talk about it to our friends, or call each other lovey dovey names, or declare we are so serious and want to spend the future together. Although he does say "goodnight beautiful" or gorgeous girl. WHich he has never said to a girl before, because he is nto really like that unless he is in a serious relationship. He does not go calling girls beautiful much and throw around lovey names. ALL my doubts are attributes to MONEY and his GIFTING style. PLEASE NOTE: we do not like traditional gifts necessarily, and prefer to get each other gadgets, like remote helicopters, keyboards, fun board games, things we want to do together for fun:) Although he HAS expressed to me that when he gets more money in the future, he definately can see himself getting me nice jewellary and spoiling me more. He is nto averse to it and can see himself getting me such gifts, the typical jewellary type gifts guys who are crazy about u apparently give the girls they ARe crazy about.... it is just not INGRAINED in him as the sure thing to always give to a girl he loves. He has only ever loved me, by the way. No serious relationship before me. Only a 3 month long fling that slmost lead to love. So far in our year together, these are the pesents he has given me, and me to him: - Valentines day. We met about a week before it. He left his wallet at my house ( NOT on purpose LOL), and had no cash to get me anything, but he managed to pick a bunch of flowers. I got him a card. - his bithday - I forgot if I got him anything. - he went away for a week and I looked after his dogs after only knoing him two months or so. He did not bring me back a gift to thank me. Rude I think. Although he did display all the signs that he liked me as much as he could like a girl. - He got me a large bunch of flowers before he went away on his first long trip without me. - he got a bunch of shells for me from the beaches he holidays at, and he planned to make them into a necklace for me. He got back fromther trip, without making the necklace. SO, no real souvenir. Just a bunch of shells. - His second trip away, he did get me a souvenir. A really nice clock, girly, silver with doves and a crystal heart. Not really expensive, just the standard gift shop price. I LOVE IT. - he picks flowers most of the time we go on walks, which is often. We love going for walks, and normally he picks a flower. - The other day, he ran ahead of me to my flat, so he could put a flower on the door handle for me to find:) CHRISTMAS: he got me a keyboard and a GREAT autobiography I really wanted. The coolest one I have read yet. He is a drummer, and I played piano growing up, and we both expressed how much we both wanted me to learn keyboard, so we can jam together:) I could not afford to get him a present. I am about to start my job, however, without aj ob at that stage, I had no money. He lent me money so I could at least pick something small, and show my taste and personal touch. - My birthday ( early JAN - ) he did not get me anythign on the actual day. He works until the shops almost close, but some days he has an HOUR to go get a present or go to the shops for whatever reason. He got me a present days later, a cheap remote helicopter. He is very into those things, and remote control cars, as is his father. He got me into them, they are great, I wanted one, so it w as a cool gift. It was very cheap though, 35 bucks, and he broke it right away by flying it BEFORE I even got a turn at it:( - He got a fish tank, and I have taken an interest in it. He is passionate, and likes filling it up with differnt species of fish and crustations. - When I got a job, he brought me a fish and yabby - I love those mini lobster type creatures, they are very cute, he knows I love them and got me one. ALl the while, I: have gotten him random cards just to show him that I appreciate him. I have gotten random cheap gifts too. We love the beach, and I like going into cheap shops and getting tennis raquets, cheap kites, bubble machines, and fun things we can tae to the beach to use. That stuff is cheap, but very fun on the beach. Do you guys have doubts when your in relationships, while also at the same time, knowing you guys could have a lot of fun and even last? Lastly, has your partners gifting style a deal breaker, if your together for a certain time period, and they fail to get u the traditional jewellary that is indicative that a guy is crazy about you?
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 I also do all his housework for him, as he is innately lazy. His mother did everything for him and was a but of a hoarder. They were very close, and she recently died when he was 23. It was out of the blue. I am a very caring girl, and enjoy being the one to cook a person I love dinner, washup, and do a bit of cleaning. However, because he missed his mother taking care of him while he grew up, he really LIKED me looking after him, to the point where I did everything for him, cleaning wise. I have not much money for material things, such as presents, but I do a great deal of cleaning up after him. He ALWAYS tells me that he really appreciates it, and feels so good about it. On the other hand, he has helped me a lot since meeting me. I had massive social issues., Most guys would not date a girl they had to help fix, but he did.I am fine now, I am socially adept enough, but he did put up ith having top hel[p fix a broken girl. We have both helped each other out - me with the cleaning, and him with sticking by me, when really, most guys would not date a girl they had to help fix. I am cynical, because of my parents attitude. My p[arents are ANBORMALLY generous, and most people in life fall short, of their standard. I was brougth up hearing how most people stixk to themselves, and will not put themselves out for you.. That it is only my parents who are generous enough to do a lot for other people. Therefore, it is engrained in me that I do a lot for my boyfriend, while he does not do a great deal for me, because his help has been psychological, not tangible, where as I literally clean up for him. Lastly, as I touched on before, he has complained and felt bad about lending me money when I have not enough to eat at times. Never in a mean spirated way, but I would think that he it was TRUE LOVE, he would know that I would pay him back, and he would not feel bad about having to feed me occasionally ( by no means every day or every week). It is not that he is resentful about having to help feed me and lend me money at times, he just says he is worried because of his own lack of finances, and that he cannot afford to help me out so much, hence why he gets stressed often times and comments when he does have to shout me lunch often, or buy my dinner. Note, I AM VERY GENEROUS, he KNOWS I am the type of girl, who when I have money, goes ALL OUT for the people I love.
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 Bump So, do you think I am right in just having fun with this guy and seeing where it goes? Or, if a guy is crazy in love, do they automatically all show it through giving rings, necklaces, etc....
soserious1 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Bump So, do you think I am right in just having fun with this guy and seeing where it goes? Or, if a guy is crazy in love, do they automatically all show it through giving rings, necklaces, etc.... The guy has limited finances.. why not focus more on beefing up your own earnings so that you can provide yourself with adequate food on a regular basis.
Star Gazer Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Or, if a guy is crazy in love, do they automatically all show it through giving rings, necklaces, etc.... No. Every person has their own love language. Pick up Five Love Languages and give it a read.
veggirl Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 No, I do not think a guy needs to shower a girl with gifts to prove his love or whatever you are getting at. Of course a relationship is much more than gifts. My BF and I agreed not to do gifts for Xmas and Vday this year (our firsts with each other). Actually it was my idea, I feel guilty when people spend money on me. He's brought me little souvenirs from trips he's gone on, and we send each other postcards from out of town which is fun. I've never questioned how he feels about me because of gifting situations. If he didn't ACKNOWLEDGE holidays etc, then yeah I'd be like wtf. We don't do the mushy FB stuff either...seems a bit immature to me, but I guess some people are into that. to each their own...I wouldn't feel comfortable being all "oh babe you are the best ever omg xoxoxoxox" all over his FB where family, colleagues, etc are gonna read it. Seems kinda juvenile and a bit stake your claim-ish.
Bridgey Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Do you guys have doubts when your in relationships, while also at the same time, knowing you guys could have a lot of fun and even last? Lastly, has your partners gifting style a deal breaker, if your together for a certain time period, and they fail to get u the traditional jewellary that is indicative that a guy is crazy about you? To answer the first question, yes, I have had doubts that my relationship of about two years will last. This is because we are in college and he will be graduating soon and we will be doing an LDR for at least a year. This is undoubtably going to be a struggle and there are no guarantees it will work out, but we are committed enough to try our best and tough it out. To answer your second question me and my boyfriend rarely ever get each other "real" gifts. We get each other a lot of fun/funny gifts that we both love and get a kick out of. Sometimes I wish he would get me more traditional gifts, but it is definitely not a deal breaker. For the most part I love our goofy gift giving style.
kiss_andmakeup Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 I would feel uncomfortable being constantly showered with expensive material gifts like jewelry, designer clothes/accessories, etc. Birthdays and holidays are one thing, but excess is not appealing to me. I much prefer actions and experiences over things. When a band I like comes to town, my boyfriend always gets us tickets and will never allow me to pay him back. Same for sporting events, nice dinners, and even a vacation here and there. I couldn't care less if I never see a diamond or an expensive handbag for the duration of our relationship. He got me some lovely gifts for Christmas and Valentine's day, even though I told him that it was unnecessary considering the nice things we get to do together on a regular basis. Since my monetary fund are severely more limited than his, I try to do nice things for him as much as I can. I love to cook him nice dinners after a long day at work; I'll tidy up his place for him, do his dishes and take out the trash. I'll even run errands for him such as picking up his dry-cleaning, taking his cat to the vet, and picking up the occasional groceries. He never asks me to do these things; I just do. The funny part is that he thanks me profusely for all these things, when really, I feel like it's the least I can do. Regardless, the fact that we show love and appreciation for each other in our own ways definitely strengthens our relationship. We both get to feel special and cared for and I think that's the important thing. 2
zengirl Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 I would feel uncomfortable being constantly showered with expensive material gifts like jewelry, designer clothes/accessories, etc. Birthdays and holidays are one thing, but excess is not appealing to me. THIS. It's awkward, honestly, and frankly I don't even like jewelry. Hubby and I do gifts on Bdays and holidays (and we also plan nights out and such, which generally cost more than the gifts) but not huge ones. I don't think a man buying you jewelry (unless it's an engagement ring) generally means they're any more serious about you than any other gift---it just means the man buys jewelry. 1
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 24, 2012 Author Posted March 24, 2012 THANK. GOD. THANK YOU. Sometimes, I get upset over things and I cannot quiet figure out if it is legit or if I have nothing to really worry about. I have heard enough from you guys to realise that everything is good with me and my b/f. I brought him a top quality tent for his birthday:):) and went to the craft store to make my own fabric/ wraping style. I got pieces of fabric and wrapped it up all cool:) in my own way. I spent half my pay on it but I can live on the rest easily for another week. I will get into personal training SOON, but I am not yet fit and confident enough, so I am giving myself a week of really trying hard before I go for it. I will be making money soon. He was absolutely thrilled with his gift:) He just got my a great Chrissy gift where as I got him nothing..... so he felt relieved that I could know him welll enough and be creative enough to get him a great gift.. it was more that he wants me to demonstrate that I am good at PICKING gifts, that I can think of good ideas. And, to get into shape, I need to start hiking and camping a lot, as that is my chosen form of exercise - rnning along the beaches and hiking, then camping at night. When I get my career started soon, I will rock climb and do that sort of adventurous stuff to keep fit, WITH ab work at home with my fit ball to help, and I will buy my own weights, just a couple, so I can do toning work 3 days weekly... I am too broke to join a gym, and in the future, I will not lash out on gifts unless I can afford it, but I really had to show him I am serious about things... I could see he was immensely relieved when I showed him that I too will sometimes bring great gifts to the table, as he did. He sort of stopped with the gift idea after I leet him down on Chrissy, when he got me an awesome persent. He was going to get me more, actually, but didn;'t, as he KNEW I had no money for him. STAR - I will go to the library and see if that book is there, or google it and try to find an extract from it.
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 24, 2012 Author Posted March 24, 2012 To answer the first question, yes, I have had doubts that my relationship of about two years will last. This is because we are in college and he will be graduating soon and we will be doing an LDR for at least a year. This is undoubtably going to be a struggle and there are no guarantees it will work out, but we are committed enough to try our best and tough it out. To answer your second question me and my boyfriend rarely ever get each other "real" gifts. We get each other a lot of fun/funny gifts that we both love and get a kick out of. Sometimes I wish he would get me more traditional gifts, but it is definitely not a deal breaker. For the most part I love our goofy gift giving style. HAHA yes we have goofy gifting styles, TOO! I love it though, it is just us; although, at times society has conditioned us to equate love with diamond rings and that sot of gift so YES do wonder sometimes and even hope for that, but only for a second when I am feeling insecure:) I want him to get me some sort of remote control helicopter or car next time..... I want to be able to fly mine with his:( It is actually a very fun challenge, they are not easy to fly and require good co - ordination! What goofy gifts do you exchange? When I go shopping or walk past the reject type discount, 2 dollar shops, I cannot help but go in themm and buy random fun sh*t for my boyfriend and myself..... I buy things like: a blow up water floaty thing me/him, and his dogs can sit on at the beach: cheap tennis raquets for the beach: bubble machines: any fun game. It is great you have your own unique gifting rituals haha, do share them please! While that is positive in my opinion, it is not great that you doubt things. Ihave doubts for these reasons really: - we are each others first love - he was always a free spirite and was never tied down by a girlfriend and did what he wanted and maybe he will want that freedome again - he could sell one of his houses his father brought him and travel the world for years. Without me. - I am not sure how good is self awareness is. Maybe he is not IN love with me as much as he thinks? All this is not much of a concern, it is just the only possible reasons as to WHY I ca nsee things imploding. I DOUBT things will end any time soon, but I am sure we will have other loves in our life. It is hard to THINK about, how we will almost definately experience thelove in someone elses arms, when we are in the moment SO CLOSE with eachother. It is unfathomable when your incredibly close to a person, to think of you both with other people. Even more strange when you do realise it is likely that you will be that close but with other people one day. I never know what is around the corner, so I am just going to really enjo each day with him. And I do.Hence why I am with him:) I would not rather be with anyone else.
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 24, 2012 Author Posted March 24, 2012 Since my monetary fund are severely more limited than his, I try to do nice things for him as much as I can. I love to cook him nice dinners after a long day at work; I'll tidy up his place for him, do his dishes and take out the trash. I'll even run errands for him such as picking up his dry-cleaning, taking his cat to the vet, and picking up the occasional groceries. He never asks me to do these things; I just do. The funny part is that he thanks me profusely for all these things, when really, I feel like it's the least I can do. Yes, I do all those things for my b/f and I actually enjoy and feel really good doing them. It makes me HAPPY doing nice things for a person I love. ANd yes, the facebook lovey dovey thing, I really do not dig it at all. I really like it how my boyfriend is totally NOT like that, because when he DOES say " goodnight beautiful", which is not every night, and not a word he ever utters during the day or often uses with any girl; it makes it more special to me, when a guy i snt that way inclined ( to use sappy words etc) and does it for you sporadically. It looks like you guys have some good solid relationship, that are secure enough to not NEED gifts.. Although VEG GIRL - wow, was it weird not getting each other anything!!!??? It would feel strange to me lol, but you know, it is always amdirable when instead of wedding gifts, they get people to donate money to charity instead. Only rich celebs do it of course, I would need the gifts LOL cos I am broke. That wedding gift example came to mind when I thought of different spins couples put on " traditional" gestures.
veggirl Posted March 24, 2012 Posted March 24, 2012 Hey Leigh. No it wasn't weird that we didn't exchange gifts, since we'd talked about it. For Xmas, I didn't see him on the day but he had spent the night at my place the night before. He had forgotten his watch at my place (does so often) and I was at my parents so he went back to get it, he left a card on my pillow which was cute. For Vday, I brought over cheesecake and we ate that and had a couple beers I am an awkward person when it comes to gifts, though. I never know what to buy someone and I stress that they'll buy something better than I did...yadda yadda. It's a dumb thing, I know, but it's how I'm wired, lol. Part of the Xmas thing is that we both already have so many people to buy for, I don't want to add to his list ya know? I don't know, I have a guilty conscious! We will do Bday gifts, though! I LOVE bday gifts because they aren't reciprocal, they are purely giving, ya know? If that makes sense?
Jeremy87 Posted March 24, 2012 Posted March 24, 2012 My gift to women is my sex skills. i'm good at it.
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 24, 2012 Author Posted March 24, 2012 Veg girl. First of all, are you vegeratian? lol. Had to ask! What do u mean it is not reciprocal? DOn't you both do it? I think that is what that word means?
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 24, 2012 Author Posted March 24, 2012 My gift to women is my sex skills. i'm good at it. Good for you:). Actually, one of the gifts my boyfriend gives me, is actually giving me oral. Before me, it was NOT his thing at all, and while he has grown to love it and has urges to do it at times, he is not the type of guy to want to have sex all the time, every day together,much less dive down for oral. He likes it, but he is not in the camp of guys who just are obsessed with oral and give it to all the girls they hook up with; he loves doing it only with girls he strongly likes or loves. SO. When he really wants to show me love, he goes down on me. He dos it really lovingly, and I can definately feel that he is showing me his love. I actually have grown to enjoy the situation that has been bestowed upon me: the fact he is not obsessed with oral, but he actually loves doing it to me at times. The fewer times he really gets into it, I grasp onto and reallllly enjoy and it means a lot more in some ways, than the type of man who just does it very freely.
veggirl Posted March 24, 2012 Posted March 24, 2012 Veg girl. First of all, are you vegeratian? lol. Had to ask! What do u mean it is not reciprocal? DOn't you both do it? I think that is what that word means? Yeah I'm vegetarian Yes that is what reciprocal means. What I mean is that we don't stand there and exchange gifts with each other at the same time. I mean I will buy him a bday gift, he will buy me one. but we don't have the same bdays, lol. I totallyyyy overthink this, I know, but I feel uncomfortable / weird like going out and spending X amt on him while he does the same for me and we just like hand em to each other. A bday gift is giving one and not getting one back (I guess til your bday, lol) and it just seems more selfless I guess. Don't mind me, I know this is a stupid hang up. I totally get why people give Xmas / Vday gifts. and I know that at the end of the day, a bday gift is also reciprocated in the long run. I'm just a weirdo. Anyway, I think the cute and funny small gifts out of nowhere are much more meaningful than spending $$ on someone because you are expected to cause it's a holiday. One time I complained about my pillows on my bed, the next time I saw my BF he had 2 new pillows for me. Not expensive or anything crazy, but just really sweet and thoughtful. That was more meaningful than say a necklace at Xmas (tho I do love jewelry!). It was just nice. I like stuff like that, small stuff that is tailored to the person, not generic, not something that anyone would know they want ya know? It sounds like you and your BF do those things, I think that's great!
Jeremy87 Posted March 24, 2012 Posted March 24, 2012 Yeah I'm vegetarian Yes that is what reciprocal means. What I mean is that we don't stand there and exchange gifts with each other at the same time. I mean I will buy him a bday gift, he will buy me one. but we don't have the same bdays, lol. I totallyyyy overthink this, I know, but I feel uncomfortable / weird like going out and spending X amt on him while he does the same for me and we just like hand em to each other. A bday gift is giving one and not getting one back (I guess til your bday, lol) and it just seems more selfless I guess. Don't mind me, I know this is a stupid hang up. I totally get why people give Xmas / Vday gifts. and I know that at the end of the day, a bday gift is also reciprocated in the long run. I'm just a weirdo. Anyway, I think the cute and funny small gifts out of nowhere are much more meaningful than spending $$ on someone because you are expected to cause it's a holiday. One time I complained about my pillows on my bed, the next time I saw my BF he had 2 new pillows for me. Not expensive or anything crazy, but just really sweet and thoughtful. That was more meaningful than say a necklace at Xmas (tho I do love jewelry!). It was just nice. I like stuff like that, small stuff that is tailored to the person, not generic, not something that anyone would know they want ya know? It sounds like you and your BF do those things, I think that's great! you're due for a couple burgers and a steak. I'll buy. Then we can have sex. 1
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 24, 2012 Author Posted March 24, 2012 Yeah I'm vegetarian Yes that is what reciprocal means. What I mean is that we don't stand there and exchange gifts with each other at the same time. I mean I will buy him a bday gift, he will buy me one. but we don't have the same bdays, lol. I totallyyyy overthink this, I know, but I feel uncomfortable / weird like going out and spending X amt on him while he does the same for me and we just like hand em to each other. A bday gift is giving one and not getting one back (I guess til your bday, lol) and it just seems more selfless I guess. Don't mind me, I know this is a stupid hang up. I totally get why people give Xmas / Vday gifts. and I know that at the end of the day, a bday gift is also reciprocated in the long run. I'm just a weirdo. Anyway, I think the cute and funny small gifts out of nowhere are much more meaningful than spending $$ on someone because you are expected to cause it's a holiday. One time I complained about my pillows on my bed, the next time I saw my BF he had 2 new pillows for me. Not expensive or anything crazy, but just really sweet and thoughtful. That was more meaningful than say a necklace at Xmas (tho I do love jewelry!). It was just nice. I like stuff like that, small stuff that is tailored to the person, not generic, not something that anyone would know they want ya know? It sounds like you and your BF do those things, I think that's great! I prefer to be vegetarian sometimes, pasta and grilled cheese ssandwiches are my fave foods, and hot chips... they do not have many chemicals or added sugar in them and taste great ( if u use real bread and make ya own pasta sauce:) I like cute gifts, cos u can surprise each other often. Unexpected, thoughtful gifts mean so much than planned cr@p. I would go as far as to say that I really do not like the planned traditions when it comes to gifting!1 In fact, I think coming up together with a random, cool, fun thing to do for valentines day, maybe having dinner and a glass of wine, is great, way better than boring jewellary. THAT SAID, because jewellary is not something our guys go buy every special occasion, it would be a nice surprise the rare times they DO go and get such gifts; because it is not common place or ever done in some cases, the element of surprise would b e nice, the same way other random surprises are that exra bit more special than planned stuff. I like how laid back your relationship sounds, my boyfriend is that way too, really laid back, he feels things and therfore tells me he would prefer to not have to be soppy and lovey all the time. He is my fist boyfriend in my 20;s ( I am 25!!) SO, I am very thankful he helped bring out that side of me, the easy going side, which I am actually inclined towards anyways. Without him, because i was clueless about relationships, I may have met a traditional guy, and changed in that way ( expected jewellery etc). You know, you can me easily moulded into a certain relationship style, if your an easy going open minded person like I am.. i tend to just go with the flow of the person, but I am SO GLAD my boyfriend egnited the funny, random, interesting gifting style - Leigh. I realise it is more my true self, being casual with gifting, saving huge diamonds until maybe marriage or rare occasions as a SURPRISE: Had I gone with the other guy I was going to consider at the time, he would have been the traditional type of gifter, and without knowing it, I would have gone down a totally different path, moulded into it as I tend to do, and it WOULDNT have been the version of myself I know i really am. But, as Iam easy going, i would not have noticed. Ya know? sometimes, although u are really geard towards being a certain way ( me, being goofy, random, funny, not traditional with gifting), u can also be really easy going and adapt to any relationship style your thrown into, to some extent ( providing it is not out of your value system or anything). HAd I gone with another guy, I would not have known I am more alive and true to myself, when I get more unconvenntional gifts!
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 24, 2012 Author Posted March 24, 2012 Yeah I'm vegetarian Yes that is what reciprocal means. What I mean is that we don't stand there and exchange gifts with each other at the same time. I mean I will buy him a bday gift, he will buy me one. but we don't have the same bdays, lol. I totallyyyy overthink this, I know, but I feel uncomfortable / weird like going out and spending X amt on him while he does the same for me and we just like hand em to each other. A bday gift is giving one and not getting one back (I guess til your bday, lol) and it just seems more selfless I guess. Don't mind me, I know this is a stupid hang up. I totally get why people give Xmas / Vday gifts. and I know that at the end of the day, a bday gift is also reciprocated in the long run. I'm just a weirdo. Anyway, I think the cute and funny small gifts out of nowhere are much more meaningful than spending $$ on someone because you are expected to cause it's a holiday. One time I complained about my pillows on my bed, the next time I saw my BF he had 2 new pillows for me. Not expensive or anything crazy, but just really sweet and thoughtful. That was more meaningful than say a necklace at Xmas (tho I do love jewelry!). It was just nice. I like stuff like that, small stuff that is tailored to the person, not generic, not something that anyone would know they want ya know? It sounds like you and your BF do those things, I think that's great! How long have u had your boyfriend? I hunted mine down a little over a year ago LOL no we actually met online cos I moved states and wanted to meet friends and joined a dating site. He was one of the only guys who actually WOULD have been happy as friends, without wanting sex. Most men will not even be your friend without sex involved, many men on those sites are sad and have enough friends thanks, no need for more friends, just sex or g/f.
veggirl Posted March 24, 2012 Posted March 24, 2012 I've been with my BF for 8 months. i think part of my gift style with him is the fact that our relationship has been taken at a slow place (again, because of me lol). I had a BF from 20-24 and we did the big gifts and it was honestly stressful, I always tried to out-do myself from the previous year or holiday and I was always worried that he would spend more $ than me etc. I didn't like that. I think my current thoughts on gifts are def influenced by my previous relationship. I think my current relationship style has been influenced by previous relationships in that I am okay with just kinda relaxing and seeing what happens, not pushing for much. I have def been burned to the max and am prob overly paranoid about that happening again maybe even a bit to my detriment unfortunately, but that doesn't have to do with this thread at all... I am really paranoid about committing to much and getting burned, or going too hard only for things to fizzle out as fast. ugh. Anyway, in the past I've had guys throw it back in my face (even months or years down the road) that "well I bought you XYZ" or "I paid for XYZ" etc....I try to avoid that now. it always made me feel bad, like okay why did you do it if you didn't want to? It made me feel indebted to them or something.
Author Leigh 87 Posted March 26, 2012 Author Posted March 26, 2012 VEG - I like to put my own unique spin on it. For instance - it is my b/fs b day today. Instead of a normal cake, I am making him a " random cheap cake made from the millions of silly plastic games" that I buy him from 2 dollar shops. I am getting all the silly games I get, sich as plastic bats, balls, cr@p I buy from the 2 dolalr shop and we playa round with.. I am buying a cr@p- load of that, and compiling it into the shape of a b day cake. Instead of an actual b day cake. I am buying a mini cup cake to put in the middle of the cake, under the pile of plastic random 2 dollar shop games. Oh - I am going to cook him a roast too, and I DID get him a really good quality tent. I like to bring out my true personality, because I view that as the best thing I can get him. If anything, spending big in the tradidional sense cheapens things, in my opinion. Being creative is much more meaningful and a lot more fun in my books. The only reason I got him an expansive tent, isbecause he got me a really great chrissy gift, and I got him NOTHING... so he needed to feel " equal" lol. He said he felt bad/weird getting me goode gifts, with actual money, because of my lack of a Chrissy gift; it felt too one sides apaprently.
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