Michellej Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Hi all. I have been married to my husband for 12 years. We married after I found out I was pregnant with our daughter. When the baby was born, she was a very fun sweet baby, but there were a few health issues. As she has grown, we have learned that she has ADHD and Aspergers Syndrome, which is in the Autism Spectrum. She also suffers with really bad anxiety. We also have two sons, 8 and 3. My husband and i have grown apart. He has cheated or wanted to cheat since about a year into the marriage. He has lied and withheld the truth until i asked "just the right question" constantly. He is emotionally cold and shut down. He is emotionally neglectful to both me and the children. I have tried reading books, seeing my own therapist, religion, bitching more, bitching less, positive reinforcement, and probably a lot of other things i have forgotten about. He has been to individual therapy for a year and we have gone to marriage therapy for the last 6 months. He rarely says anything to me, and when he tries to talk, he just says things that he thinks will help, but there is never any follow through. Unfortunately, i now cry myself to sleep almost nightly, and i really do not see any hope for our family to stay together. What am I going to do with our daughter? She already has so many self esteem issues because she is "different" and so many anxiety issues. We live in a fairly affluent area, and if i leave, i will not be able to keep her in the same school most likely. She is going into 6th grade, and has just started puberty. She has so much to deal with already. I know that most often it is said that you have to take care of yourself so that you can care best for your children. if the marriage is doomed, is it really better for me to put her through this so that she can have a happy mom again? I love my children. i miss them deeply. The depression and tension in the house prevents me from playing with them and having fun with them like i want to. I feel like its been months since there was more than a brief moment of fun. FYI - I do see an individual therapist, and am on antidepressants myself because of all of this. I just would like other people's insight on divorce when you have an Aspergers child.....
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