Desensitized Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 But what I'm learning now is maybe 2 wrongs don't make a right at all. You don't say? At least I end a relationship and don't cheat like you. He's got a point there. But on the other hand, I am not here to judge you. Stop playing the victim in this situation, and realize that you were not forced to be with him for the amount of time you allotted yourself to be. That was your decision, and because you didn't break up with him, you cheated. It's over. You cheated, you admitted to it, that's all there is to it. Stop contacting him, it's really rather pointless to keep apologizing over something you did 7 years ago, but at least you apologized once. Now cut contact and move on with your lives.
Black Jack Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 REALLY?!?!? Let me see if I got this straight. He was a selfish, inconsiderate, pompous loser. No ambition in life, no goals, condesending bastard. A disrespectful, uncaring spiteful douche rocket. A lazy, emotionally abusive jerk that DESERVED to be cheated on? And your going to send him a message saying that your sorry you cheated on him at the time because you PITIED him? Gotcha. Do him a favor, don't send anything. Ya right he deserved it because he had no ambition. Probably a lie OP made up. Lots of married women today sit on their asses while their husbands are off working but do they deserve to be cheated on? No.
Black Jack Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 He is pissed off indeed but like suspected he just admitted to never loving me: MelissaS, You are a total BITCH. I could really careless if a woman dumps me. At least I end a relationship and don't cheat like you. You don't know order do you? But it's all good. It's not like I had any future plans with you. You were never serious relationship material. Everyone says things in anger, and you're trying to use his angry message to say "See? He never loved me so I was right to cheat on him!" First you say it was just him being disrespectful, now that he sent you an angry message it's all of a sudden he never loved you. More excuses. No.
nofool4u Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 I'm not sure if this is even worth coming clean by now. I once cheated on an ex bf (then bf) but realized it was an unstable relationship. In addition, almost everyone, including my own parents who aren't judgement people at all hated him. But right now I'm looking at an angry message written on both my email hotmail account and facebook and it's from him. It's been 7 years since I've broken it up as I didn't wanted to continue cheating but should I even bother coming clean by now? Should I respond to the message and say something or ignore it? I've haven't cheated since but it's not really something I'm proud of. That's why I broke it off in the first place and walked away. You can come clean if you want to, but since you are no longer with this bf, what would be the point? And why is he angry? Did he find out about the cheating? If you 2 were still together, I'd say definitely come clean, because he deserves the truth. But I don't know why he would contact you 7 years later angry. If I found out a gf from 7 years ago cheated, last thing I'd want is anything to do with her and wouldn't waste my time contacting her.
Author MelissaS Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 Ya right he deserved it because he had no ambition. Probably a lie OP made up. Lots of married women today sit on their asses while their husbands are off working but do they deserve to be cheated on? No.What if a married woman was really neglected or abused and the husband was an addict that didn't work at all? If she cheats, is he still the person with high morals? Yeah she should file for divorce ASAP in that case but would you still feel bad for him?
make me believe Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Melissa, I think you did the right thing in apologizing to him. You know it was wrong to cheat and that you should have ended the relationship before getting involved with someone else. It sounds like you've learned from what you did, and it's done with. Honestly you should stop replying to 2sunny and blackjack... NOTHING you say is going to get them off your back, unless you say you are a horrible person, scum of the earth, etc, for cheating. Don't make excuses.. own what you did, apologize for it, and move on. You don't need to be punished forever like some people seem to think you should be.
Author MelissaS Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 Melissa, I think you did the right thing in apologizing to him. You know it was wrong to cheat and that you should have ended the relationship before getting involved with someone else. It sounds like you've learned from what you did, and it's done with. Honestly you should stop replying to 2sunny and blackjack... NOTHING you say is going to get them off your back, unless you say you are a horrible person, scum of the earth, etc, for cheating. Don't make excuses.. own what you did, apologize for it, and move on. You don't need to be punished forever like some people seem to think you should be.This I bet that even if a woman's husband were to beat the hell out of her and she cheats, then leaves the abuser for a man that treats her good all of the sudden the husband is the good man (the poor victim) and the wife is the worst person ever.
2sunny Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 What if a married woman was really neglected or abused and the husband was an addict that didn't work at all? If she cheats, is he still the person with high morals? Yeah she should file for divorce ASAP in that case but would you still feel bad for him? Stop deflecting! Sop trying to make situations anything other than hey are. If someone is married or committed - and theyno longer wish to be with that person - they have the choice to leave! When THAT relationship has ended - that is when consideration can be given to starting with someone new. Anything you want to try to use to justify cheating only makes you look worse for trying to find reason for bad behavior.
Black Jack Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 What if a married woman was really neglected or abused and the husband was an addict that didn't work at all? If she cheats, is he still the person with high morals? Yeah she should file for divorce ASAP in that case but would you still feel bad for him? Okay but see the problem here is after 7 years you want to say how he needs to get over it, and yet at the same time, you're here still trying to justify it. And if she filed for divorce ASAP no I would not feel sorry for him, but if she starts cheating and then wants to claim the moral high ground, like you are, then that's where her head is messed up.
Black Jack Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 This I bet that even if a woman's husband were to beat the hell out of her and she cheats, then leaves the abuser for a man that treats her good all of the sudden the husband is the good man (the poor victim) and the wife is the worst person ever. First of all, she'd be pretty dump to cheat knowing that if he found out, he'd turn into the Hulk. And secondly, if she has the courage to open her legs for another man while still married, then she has the courage to leave the abuser first before doing that. She shouldn't even be trying to jump into another man's arms period since she's in an abusive relationship. We can go on and on like this all day, but the fact remains you're still here trying to validate your past actions.
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