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Friends With Benefits....Good or Bad?


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Posted

There is this guy named Duck and he asked me if me and him should be friends with benefits but then turn around and says that I couldn't handle it. I have known he for like almost 4 years now and I've been his friend for that long. He said he liked me but then he got a girlfriend and now he says that he doesn't want a relationship right now. I wanna be more than just friends and I keep telling him that but he doesn't listen. Is this a good idea or is this a bad idea? What should I say? I'm having troubles on deciding what I should do. I am already attached to him but I'm not in love with him and I'm afraid that I'll fall in love with him or into a trap and he announces it world wide!! HELP!?

Posted

If you have feelings for him and you said you are "attached"..it is a very bad idea. You will get even more attached after sex ( as usually human females do ). Then you will start drama if he is not acting like a boyfriend and you will feel used.

 

I was the guy like that...it is tempting to use a girl for sex even when she has some feelings. After a short time ( usually as soon as I get some sex ) i start pulling back. Then this girl pulls back her self cause she is hurt and after both are pulled way back...time passes..she gets over me..and we may not see each other ever again.

Posted

If you have feelings or any reason to think that you may end up getting them, stay far away from a FWB situation. It will only get messy and it will hurt. It's also really hard to go back to a just normal friendship from there. I've never found it to be worth it.

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Posted

It is so hard to say no to him. I never gave him an answer and he always makes up excuses that he is "busy" when I wanna hang and I keep asking him do you like me? do you wanna hang? when? and all the answers are the same everytime..should i just give up and move on?

Posted

I agree with Hear.

If you already have feelings with this guy and you want to be more than friends - don't just become his **** buddy.

 

Why are you not good enough to be his girl, but good enough to just use for sex - you should have better aspirations for yourself, especially since you have feelings for this guy.

 

Note: I'm not against the FWB thing, but in your case, its only gonna lead to your hurt feelings.

Posted
It is so hard to say no to him. I never gave him an answer and he always makes up excuses that he is "busy" when I wanna hang and I keep asking him do you like me? do you wanna hang? when? and all the answers are the same everytime..should i just give up and move on?

It's obvious that he doesn't want to spend time with you and only wants sex.

Posted
It is so hard to say no to him. I never gave him an answer and he always makes up excuses that he is "busy" when I wanna hang and I keep asking him do you like me? do you wanna hang? when? and all the answers are the same everytime..should i just give up and move on?

 

OMG, why not just get "Desperate" tattooed on your forehead?!

 

If this guy is making excuses not to hang out with you, stop throwing yourself at him.

 

Honestly, work on your self esteem, and find someone worth while.

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Posted

How can I come up to that fact and accepting it?

Posted

Bad idea. Figure out what you want and then find someone who is on the same page.

Posted

Its a good idea if you dont want to actually date him.

 

Its a bad idea if you know you have feelings for him.

 

He obviously senses that you would get caught up in your emotions and possibly hurt, so he backed off. I give him props for that. Id leave it alone. If a guy sees you as a FWB and not a gf, then its not changing. Your in the "fvk zone"

Posted

I'm usually a big advocate for FWB, but not when there are feelings involved!

You have already admitted to having feelings for him, you keep asking him if he likes you... yeah, it's not gonna end well if you go down that road.

 

FWB have to really be no strings attached or one part is gonna get hurt!

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Posted

Now that i think of it when I get outta school here in a few I'm going to tell him that i dont think that its worth it and this FWB isnt worth my time as I was thinking it would be...but what if he comes back with a guilt trip type thing?

Posted
Now that i think of it when I get outta school here in a few I'm going to tell him that i dont think that its worth it and this FWB isnt worth my time as I was thinking it would be...but what if he comes back with a guilt trip type thing?

 

My advice: you don't need to approach him to tell him that you're not interested. Just back off and leave him alone. If (and that's a BIG IF) he brings it up to you again - then tell him that you're not interested.

 

Good luck

Posted

Is he the only guy your interested in?

 

You don't know anybody else who might want to date you?

Posted

Troll post, if not, than this has got to be the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas.

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Posted

there are other guys...........and girls lol

Posted
there are other guys...........and girls lol

Then get to it :)

 

No need to stick with a guy who just wants one thing.

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