Whisky1981 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Today I really feel bad. I was thinking that things were on the road of improvement for me after a 9 year relationship which fell apart in 1 month because she was cheating on me...she never told me this, I discovered it by myself after a couple of days after the BU. I never contacted her after the BU and I can tell that I am over her because I really dont have any desire to get back to a person who after 9 years of loving and caring did something like this without even telling me the truth. From what I have discovered she was with this new guy for 6 months before the BU. So that is the past that will probably remain with me for all my life. After that I began to work on myself and focus on things I like. I went to dance classes where I met a girl that I almost immediatly fell for. So things were going well and after 1 month of dance classess I started to see some signals from her side...I got high hopes that something can really happen...after the signals I invited her to the teathre and then BUM I discovered that she got back with her ex. Nothing happened between us I was only starting to see some signals that I may have had misinterpreted so I know it sound a little silly but still that was enough to get my hopes up. That really threw me in a deep depression with which I am coping now. I dont blame her, I am happy for her couse if that is what she wants and makes her happy then I am happy for her. But inside I really feel sad and crushed. Lets say that I thought I met the girl of my dreams...if only she wasnt so beautiful...it is really hard when you meet your ideal woman and your "love" just isnt returned. If that wasnt enough at the last dance lesson we had she said to me that she was continuing her next session of dance classes with her boyfriend so she wont be able to continue with me...I know that is the right thing to do from her side and I dont blame her...but it really hit me and threw me even deeper in desperation. All this would probably be easier if I wouldnt have to see her for the next three dance lessons which are prepaid and we have to finish them together. After this I guess is good bye forever. I still have her mail account trough wich we can chat so I will remain in some kind of reach but I really think thats all, cause inviting her places wouldnt be the right thing to do and probably would piss her off. I was already talking about this girl on LS forum and got some good advices...but I dont know I guess I am trying to write this down in hope that this wtriting will help me and maybe some words of comfort can bring my moral a little bit up. So thank you for reading this and if you leave a comment I will be happy to read it and thank you all in advance.
esteem-jam Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Man, dancing classes is not the best place to be after break up. I have seen this ad that they have dance classes in my town, on Sunday evenings. So I lay and fantasize wouldnt it be great to go there and meet somebody, some woman. But then I think BAM... what if I go there and nobody of the ladies dont want to dance with me. Its like: hello, who wants to f*** with me? Nobody. Giggles. Ego crushed. Thats not what you want after a BU. In ideal case, you go to these classes if you are really into dancing, and genuinely want to do smth with it. But if you go there with underlying concept that you want to meet somebody and get in rel. ... then you will be crushed. What if even the right person for you isnt even in those classes? How many people are there, like 20 ladies? What if your match is somewhere else in town? How many females are outside of those classes in town, thousands? Finish those classes and asta la vista. I bet the girl went to those classes to improve her social life. I think thats the general public in such classes, they go there to socialize. Maybe 20 % are dancing spirits, the rest go there to fix their shyness, up their social life. This girl got some security from/with you, now she is comfortable in those classes and etc. I think you gave more than you got from this all. But dont worry, you can do other things.
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Love how the exes send you signals-=it's to stroke their ego. She wants to make sure you are still pining away and missing her; makes her feel extra good. SO GLAD you didn't try anything with her and get rejected; glad it was just the theater. I am proud you kept your dignity. You are still on a good healing path, keep on that path.
Author Whisky1981 Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 Man, dancing classes is not the best place to be after break up. I have seen this ad that they have dance classes in my town, on Sunday evenings. So I lay and fantasize wouldnt it be great to go there and meet somebody, some woman. But then I think BAM... what if I go there and nobody of the ladies dont want to dance with me. Its like: hello, who wants to f*** with me? Nobody. Giggles. Ego crushed. Thats not what you want after a BU. In ideal case, you go to these classes if you are really into dancing, and genuinely want to do smth with it. But if you go there with underlying concept that you want to meet somebody and get in rel. ... then you will be crushed. What if even the right person for you isnt even in those classes? How many people are there, like 20 ladies? What if your match is somewhere else in town? How many females are outside of those classes in town, thousands? Finish those classes and asta la vista. I bet the girl went to those classes to improve her social life. I think thats the general public in such classes, they go there to socialize. Maybe 20 % are dancing spirits, the rest go there to fix their shyness, up their social life. This girl got some security from/with you, now she is comfortable in those classes and etc. I think you gave more than you got from this all. But dont worry, you can do other things. Thank you for your response. You are right, I went to the classes to meet somebody but I really didnt have great expectations that I will meet a girl that I will actually like. Guess that life just threw her into my way to make things misrable for me in the end . In the first place I went to the classes to learn dancing because in or country "town parties" are everywhere trough the whole summer. So if you have some skill in dancing you have an excuse to invite every girl on the dance floor. Chance wanted that I got a girl that is my age and meets almost everything I look for in a girl on a supeficial level. Now I know that she got a lot more from this classes then I did. Hell she put her life back on track, I am almost more crushed than before but one positive thing came out of it and this is that I dont think about my ex anymore instead I think about my ex co-dancer all the time. Guess things are really f*cked up in my head . I will finish thoses classes and then I dont know maybe I will continue with a new co-dancer if I`ll be lucky enough to find one. The only problem is that if she`ll continue with her boyfriend I`ll have to watch them all the time (although I dont see how can she continue with him from the 3rd grade on as he didnt do the first two grades). I just dont know the impact that this will have on me. Probably not positive. But I maybe can hope that their second chance will go bad and then I can continue dance with her or something. This dosent mean that I will wait for her, sure I`ll look for somebody else in the meantime. Again thank you for your response.
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