joshsmith8110 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Maybe you know what it is. Maybe you been involved in it like I seem to be right now. Need help stopping the list. The laundry list where your significant other wants you to change this and that. Do this and that. And be this and that to make them happy. The hell with who you are as a person they want you to change to suit there needs, wants and dreams. Basically my significant other wants me to be. More outgoing, more silly acting, more talkative, like children more, more religous, less perverted, more social, more caring of what people think, smile more, show i care more, silly jokes not perverted jokes, give all the details when asked a question not just the details that will anwser the question, more excited to want children, dont give her to much attention or show i care too much because then i seem easy and less desirable, (WTF!! were engaged). stop wanting sex so much, stop wanted attention so much, (maybe if i got some i wouldnt be looking for some), be more talkative at social settings. So far i have done all these and i know i probably shouldnt have because then it sets the standard for she gets what she wants. Lately a new addition to the list has come out she know says i need to stop being quiet. Im not all the time just everyone in awhile i sit on the couch and just look out the window or just watch tv. I like to just relax and think, collect my thoughts. But i cant because she says it drives her nuts, frustrates her and bam she is in a childish not going to talk to you im in a mood attitude. And she will be in that mood for hours and blame me for PUTTING HER IN IT. what the hell...' Her reaction when i dont do one of these things is for example say we were at a party and i wasnt talkative enough at the party. On the ride home she will be mad and complain i wasnt talkative enough. I say well love me for who i am and then she says maybe were not meant to be together.. BP disorder im thinking. How do you stop the laundry list
OpenBook Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 By dumping her and getting a new GF. Preferably one more laid-back than that. Sheesh!
Emilia Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 How do you stop the laundry list By breaking up with her. It sounds like the two of you are the polar opposites and are completely incompatible.
CarrieT Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 How do you stop the laundry list By finding and establishing a relationship with someone who loves you for all that you are... Someone who wouldn't consider even creating a laundry list because you are perfect in their eyes and there is nothing to change.
Andy_K Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 more religous, less perverted, stop wanting sex so much RUN! Run away! 1
Philosoraptor Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 I had one of these, bent for almost 5 years. When I said no to something she said she couldn't be with me if I was going to be like that. Learn from my experience, you can't please someone who can't be pleased, and you can't make a miserable person happy. As sad as it might be to end things, shortly after you feel a surge of relief that you can just be yourself.
sweetsmmr91 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Yeah, no. That's a HUGE laundry list. Wanting a guy you're dating to be more social and outgoing is normal, because it helps him get into your group of friends and if you really like him.. you want that. But a list that long of things to change about yourself!? No way. If there's that many things she doesn't like about you... why is she even with you?
Author joshsmith8110 Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 She has been in two relationships before me and both of those guys cheated on her. Probably because she drove them nuts and they found somone that appreciated them. But beyond that. Let my stupidity kick in for a second and say that perhaps her wanting everything is her way of trying to get what her last relationship lacked in her mind because if she has those things then things will be good. Seems logical. We been together for 5 some years and it hasnt been all bad. Some of the things she has wanted has made me a better person and were growing together. Things our tough at times and i do understand that i can break it off but when the going gets tuff i dont just give up. I understand relationships our work and take time..So all though it be easy to say see you later have a nice life. Given 5 years together im not going to give up just yet...seems stupid what i just said and that i want to stay, but ive taken a few psychology classes and there is stages to the relationship 1st one is romance once that is over then comes powerstruggle where you try and get what you can 3rd is stability stage where your weathered from the powerstruggle stage and bitter towards the other the 4th is commitment stage where you finally learn to love and respect the other person. stages 2 and 3 our where people give up and it is why the divorce rate is so high because people get married in stage 1 romance it ends and then all hell breaks loose. so any advice on putting my foot down and stopping this laundry list?
sweetsmmr91 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 so any advice on putting my foot down and stopping this laundry list? Understandable then Just talk to her. Tell her that's not you. Tell her you'll try but that she can't get upset if you don't succeed. Tell her you love her the way that she is and hope that she'll love you for the way you are. Although, guys don't like to communicate.. so maybe it's more difficult than that. Stop changing your ways, except for the things that make you happy, and see what she decides. If she's anything like me she'll want to communicate about it and then you can tell her what's up and how you're feeling. But for one, I'd just stop changing the things you don't want to change.
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