bluewolf17 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 My ex and me. (Ex from LOOOONG ago) both now single. Both have had feelings for eachother since the break up. I told him how I felt (that I would like to date him/cared for him) and he just left a a relationship and was pretty sad about it. I gave him space. At that time, he said he only saw me as a friend blah blah but did think about me/think we could have another shot. We met up twice (in Feb) and it was obvious he isn't over his ex. I really didn't get much of any sign that he saw a future with me. I went NC because I still had feelings. Three weeks later he calls and texts a few times which I ingnore. Then i found out he is friending all my friends on FB (we don't really have mutual friends!). He friend requests me. He has texted and called a few times. Sometimes I respond with short replies, most often I don't. Last Sunday he called Friday/Saturday/Sunday and on Sunday I answered, he said he wanted to see me, so we grabbed a quick drink. He seemed his normal self, said he was feeling better. He was happy and we had a good time. BUT he did make a comment about how "this wasn't a date" and later said something about how he isn't ready to date anyone (I was not bringing up any relationship stuff, I was being casual). Overall I had a good time, but I just don't understand why he is reaching out to me if he has neutral feelings. We aren't physical and haven't been in 6plus years. I really really wanted to call or text him. I miss him. My fear and the reason I went NC, is that I will just set myself up to get hurt. That he won't respond. And when he says "Im not ready for a relationship". He means "I don't want one with you".
Philosoraptor Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 And when he says "Im not ready for a relationship". He means "I don't want one with you". Yes. Looks like he finally got what he wanted, and as it commonly goes, they run away when it gets real. He knows he can still have you and had his ego stroked. You continue to do this to yourself when it is abundantly clear that you know him well enough to know to avoid him. 1
TaraMaiden Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Yes. Looks like he finally got what he wanted, and as it commonly goes, they run away when it gets real. He knows he can still have you and had his ego stroked. You continue to do this to yourself when it is abundantly clear that you know him well enough to know to avoid him. QFT. I second this......
Author bluewolf17 Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 Do you mean that once I told him I was open to a relatinoship, he didn't want it-like you want what you can't have kind of thing? I thought going NC was the best. I could move on, and he would have time to figure stuff out, and if things changed down the road, then we would just see.. I was never needy..I never called him or texted him or begged him. If anything, I have been aloof. I only told him how I felt back in January, one time, and I left it at that. I haven't brought it up again.
robertmathis1026 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 both of you loves each other, What I like is, you are not needy, keep it going! Nothing wrong with texting or calling your ex, and remember don't be needy and pushy. Are you SUFFERING THE PAIN, because your ex DUMP you? Can You imagine, if you can make your ex BEGGING TO BACK WITH YOU? click here to make it HAPPEN!!
wilsonx Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Yes. Looks like he finally got what he wanted, and as it commonly goes, they run away when it gets real. He knows he can still have you and had his ego stroked. You continue to do this to yourself when it is abundantly clear that you know him well enough to know to avoid him. There's more to this then what you posted. He's doing a Conga dance with you. You see he's normal again and coming around. Just dance with him. He leads, you follow. He will open up more in the next coming months to where you want him to be. Do not put any pressure on him for a relationship etc. Just be you, have fun and enjoy his company. Things will change to where you want them to be
Author bluewolf17 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 Wilson, I have read a lot of your posts, and I am suprised you would say that. I'm really not fishing for what I want to hear. And to be honest, in a few months I may move on to someone who actually wants to be with me. But right now, I hate the waiting. I'm doing all the right things. I go out. I have lots of friends and a supportive family. I think I'm a catch. I'm not being pushy or needy. Waiting sucks. I don't think I should be wainting for someone to make a decision about me.
wilsonx Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 You're correct, waiting does suck. I'm in that boat right now, keep doing what you are doing! Do what you feel is right, I just gave you another option then the avoid or go NC. What ever you chose in the end, you will be happy and he will be happy.
leoc1973 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 My ex broke up with me 10 months ago. I had an ex from 5 years previously that was interested in dating me again. this is just my perspective so who knows. I was very interested in getting back with her but I still had very serious feelings for the most recent ex. for the longest time I wanted her back even tho I would love to have given the ex before her a chance again but I really really had to make sure that I didn't hurt her so I never gave her a chance. I never really hung out with her because I hurt her terribly and I couldn't do it again. Funny thing is now I don't want the last ex back and I should have given the one before her a chance but I really needed to heal. Maybe he is just secretly hoping for the last ex back or wants to make sure about you. I suggest you keep hanging with him be the fun and cool chick and he probably will fall in love with you again. You are doing the right thing by not pressuring him. If he starts to have feelings for you. Don't play any kind of jealousy or any kind of you aren't going to wait forever game because he might start dating you agian while his heart isn't fully into it.
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