Almond_Joy Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 What does your girlfriend think of all this? SHE should be the one to say something to him, not you. If she's not willing or doesn't see a problem with it, then I assume it's because she enjoys the attention. That would be a problem for me. If some guy was constantly making comments like that on my FB, I would know he has no respect for my relationship with my husband, and I would delete him. Your gf should do the same with this guy. Talk to her about it. ^^Seconded.
bikinibeach Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 omg you poor thing. This would piss me off and I wouldn't stand for it for one minute. Maybe it's harmless but if it's bugging you, why wouldn't your gf just delete his creepy ass?? Alot of people behave this way because no one ever calls them out on it. ESPECIALLY women who are worried about 'being mean'. I would be concerned if your gf is reciprocating in ANY WAY, even responding. Attention whore?? I think you should post your reply AND tag his wife's name in your reply. It would be hilarious. THen block and delete them both. Life is short, why waste time on them??? 2
bikinibeach Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 :bunny:OH WAIT....yes, your GF should be the one posting the reply!!! I second the post above ^^^^^
dasein Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Vote "no" on any reply from either you or GF. This could result in having to listen to an apology, having an embarrassing apology posted on FB, basically more interaction and drama with this guy than you want. Or he could go on a "say something nice and big man comes in and insults me" tangent, which would be even worse. Have your GF remove him as a friend, block him, and let that be that.
veggirl Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 You have a bigger problem than this guy--your GF. Why is she "friends" with this guy who blatantly wants her and disrespects your relationship? You don't need to take anything up with the guy, you need to talk to your GF about her piss-poor boundaries. She should have spoken up or deleted the guy the first time he did this. 1
hotloader Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Lay off Emilia, buddy! It was me that used the term "creeper" and yes it's exactly how you describe. It's a guy that is showing interest in you when you are showing none in return. And I don't care how innocent you try and make it sound, they are creepers. They aren't picking up on the social cues that you aren't interested and are thus becoming an annoyance by persisting in trying to the point that it is making you uncomfortable. That is creepy. Making people uncomfortable is not a good or innocent thing no matter what light you try and put it in. When I'm interested in a guy who doesn't seem interested back, I don't refer to it as a crush anymore. I let go and move the hell on to someone that is interested. Even if I have to fake it until I make it sometimes. I don't poke and prod trying to get ANY kind of validation from someone who clearly isn't interested in giving it to me. I collect my pride and get to going like normally socially well-adjusted people do. When I think of girls in their 20's, I have this image in my mind of vaginas with legs just hooping around all over the place, screwing this guy, screwing that guy, "oops, bumped into a "creeper", hop away, screw this guy again, screw his brother, screw him and his brother at the same time, hop...hop...hop.... It's like a cartoon skit, ya know?
gaius Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 It's never anything that is CRAZY over the top, but he will post stuff like "Oh my god you look amazing," or one day I guess she passed him in the street and didn't say hi and he said "Nice. You're too beautiful and good to stop and say hi to an old high school classmate in the streets." Just tell your girlfriend to kick Dust off her facebook. 2
Author chucksagent Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 Bikinibeach!!! - You and I think EXACTLY alike...Why should I worry about making HIM uncomfortable when clearly I am already bothered and uncomfortable by this!!! You're right, people do this CAUSE THEY CAN! So I stepped up yesterday and posted this: "X, good afternoon. I can only hope you show your wife as much thoughtfulness and attention as you show my girlfriend. If so, she's a lucky woman!" Through that last compliment in there so I didn't come across as ALL HOSTILE. Point clearly made. He responded: "I certainly do, and she is very lucky.....guess I have way too much free time lately" BOOM - What a pathetic back out "too much free time lately." You girls on here can think whatever you want because that's what women do, refuse to REALIZE men's motivations...But TRUST ME, a guy doesn't go OUT OF HIS way like this "just to be nice." Unless he is trying to sleep with you. It's just a fact. I swear guys, I was a champion last night. All my friends texting me telling me I am their hero and how they've wanted to do stuff like this to random creepers. I don't care if anyone thinks it makes me look bad, it's how I felt so I said it. I'm going to be like Walter White in breaking bad anymore man, life's too short...don't take crap from anyone. 1
hotloader Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 But TRUST ME, a guy doesn't go OUT OF HIS way like this "just to be nice." Unless he is trying to sleep with you. It's just a fact. I take offense to the fact that you're essentially speaking for me as well when you make that statement. Complimenting someone doesn't mean you wanna have sex with them. What the hell is wrong with you? Were you born in a barn? 1
curlygirl40 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 You're right, people do this CAUSE THEY CAN! So I stepped up yesterday and posted this: "X, good afternoon. I can only hope you show your wife as much thoughtfulness and attention as you show my girlfriend. If so, she's a lucky woman!" Through that last compliment in there so I didn't come across as ALL HOSTILE. Point clearly made. He responded: "I certainly do, and she is very lucky.....guess I have way too much free time lately" BOOM - What a pathetic back out "too much free time lately." You girls on here can think whatever you want because that's what women do, refuse to REALIZE men's motivations...But TRUST ME, a guy doesn't go OUT OF HIS way like this "just to be nice." Unless he is trying to sleep with you. It's just a fact. Ha! I read this whole thread just now. I love it when there's a resolution and you can read the advice given and then see what the OP did about it and see the results. I would have definitely been in the camp of 'don't say anything, let it go, he's just looking for attention so don't give it to him'. But yet seeing how it played out, funny stuff. I have a guy who comments all the time on my FB. We dated for about 2 months over a year ago. He is now dating someone going on a year, we don't see each other anymore, his FB comments are the only interaction 'we' have, but I never had the heart to block him or unfriend him. I think some people just do have too much time on their hands, they don't realize how they are coming across to others, how inappropriate it might seem, etc. They aren't being intentionally malicious, they are just crying out 'look at me! Look at me! I'm over here, please notice me!!' It's kind of sad actually. I know a lot has been said lately about creepers and it's usually a term reserved for men. Women do it sometimes too. A few of the goodlooking player types I have on my FB, I see girls throw themselves at them often with no response from the guys but yet they continue to do it. Same thing. Equally pathetic. One of my guy friends posted something about not feeling well and waiting for Nyquil to kick in or something like that and this girl who I know is only his friend but has been after him for a while posted 'A visit from me will make you feel better'. Blech. Both sexes 'creep'. Anyway, there are my thoughts for today on this topic. Good for you for handling it dignity. 1
zengirl Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 I know a lot has been said lately about creepers and it's usually a term reserved for men. Women do it sometimes too. A few of the goodlooking player types I have on my FB, I see girls throw themselves at them often with no response from the guys but yet they continue to do it. Same thing. Equally pathetic. Oh, yeah! Hubby had a creeper on his page when we first started dating. It was still happening even after we were together (and FB "official") but I never really said anything. One day, he unfriended her.
curlygirl40 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Another thought is that being unintentionally inappropriate (which is subjective in itself) comes down to social skills or lack of social skills. Being able to put yourself in other people's shoes and realize that it might make them uncomfortable is not a 'skill' that everyone is born with or will develop. Nothing to get so upset about but yet sometimes fun to chuckle and then move on with your day. Some people just don't get it, and some people do. Makes my life easier when I remember how little of a deal these situations are in the grand scheme of things and just move on. And here's where I will contradict myself (ha!). If someone doesn't gently nudge these people to tell them they are being inappropriate, how will they learn? Hmmmmm 1
hotloader Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Oh, yeah! Hubby had a creeper on his page when we first started dating. It was still happening even after we were together (and FB "official") but I never really said anything. One day, he unfriended her. I still can't dig on the word "creeper". I've had girls who were interested in me and the feeling wasn't mutual. I found it flattering, and I at least had the decency to tell them that while I appreciated the sentiment, I just wasn't into them back. I also let them know that I thought they were great people, and they'd make some guy really happy someday.....just not this guy. Two specific women pop into my head as I type this. One of them was super sweet and cool as well. Good looking too. I just wasn't feeling it though...dunno why. The other was a friend's sister, and that's just a no-no for me. She was hot too.
Emilia Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 When I think of girls in their 20's, I have this image in my mind of vaginas with legs just hooping around all over the place, screwing this guy, screwing that guy, "oops, bumped into a "creeper", hop away, screw this guy again, screw his brother, screw him and his brother at the same time, hop...hop...hop.... It's like a cartoon skit, ya know? Struggling to see what your point is. I'm not in my 20s by the way - though I fail to see the relevance of that here - but encounter plenty of men who make inappropriate creepy comments. Such as the ones you have made in this post.
zengirl Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 I still can't dig on the word "creeper". I've had girls who were interested in me and the feeling wasn't mutual. I found it flattering, and I at least had the decency to tell them that while I appreciated the sentiment, I just wasn't into them back. I also let them know that I thought they were great people, and they'd make some guy really happy someday.....just not this guy. Two specific women pop into my head as I type this. One of them was super sweet and cool as well. Good looking too. I just wasn't feeling it though...dunno why. The other was a friend's sister, and that's just a no-no for me. She was hot too. To me, creeper means going WAY beyond that level. Creepers are just really inappropriate about it too. (I'm not sure if the guy in the OP is actually creeper level or not -- hard to tell with just those few examples, but it sounds like he could be.) "Creeper" means they are just really forward to the point where it makes people genuinely uncomfortable and they don't seem to care, to me. Not just someone who expresses interest where it's not returned! So, those girls would be creepers if, say, after you'd let them know that you weren't interested or were taken still kept after you incessantly and publicly to the point where it was deeply uncomfortable. 1
Author chucksagent Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 Curlygirl - YOU GET IT! And by IT I mean IT! Some people you can talk to for hours and they give you that blank stare. You hit the nail on the head with "he probably wants her to hey look at me look at me." He even previously posted on her FB something along the lines of "Saw you in the street today and you didn't even say hi, too beautiful and good for me." Just this pathetic little worm seeking attention. Hotloader - Listen pal...there is an exception to LITERALLY every rule. You are probably in that 10-20% of males (5-10% are homosexual) who do nice things for RANDOM women on the internet out of the goodness of your heart. Lol. So fake man SOOO FAKE. Everyone ALWAYS says "God, I can never get ahead. Too busy..work,school,cook,clean,kids,house,apartment,friends,family,car,bills,sleep,naps,yardwork, blah blah blah." Most people have trouble keeping up friendships with their GOOD friends and family when you get older (easier when a kid and in high school and college and early 20's). But if you expect me to believe that BUSY MEN WITH BUSY LIVES spend time doing random acts of kindness for RANDOM women they are attracted to on the internet and DON'T want to sleep with them, you are kidding yourself friendo. Now again, you and 10-20% of men MAY do that stuff for whatever reason it is you do it. But in life, I tend to go by the rule not the exception to the rule when judging behavior. It's like a doctor. If he said "Billy, there are two procedures to fix your cancer. The first, has a 90% success rate and WILL work. The second, has a 10% success rate and WILL WORK." Anybody with a brain is going to pick the first, and the second SHOULDN'T be offended by it, because common sense dictates why.
Author chucksagent Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 And ladies, take no disrespect...I am GIVING you the keys to the kingdom. I am SHOWING you the playbook. Men's intentions are RARELY pure and innocent. The intelligent ones of you will say "No kidding Chucksagent, don't insult our intelligence!" The younger ones of you will say "That's not true Chuck, we have plenty of guys in our group of friends." I will say A) Different rules in high school and college cause not as busy (no need to prioritize) and B) If you are an above-average looking girl, odds are most of those guys wanna sleep with you and if you're hot THEY ALL DO. Bank that. Free advice. I'm a lawyer and my normal fee is $250.00 an hour. Consider it a gift today. You may see some Liberal mumbo jumbo after this post by "more fake" guys or women who IGNORE and REFUSE to face the fact that men are pigs and jerks. You know the saying women are crazy because men lie. Think about it ladies. Shouldn't be hard to figure out. This is a WORKING/MARRIED man, taking the time out of his day to post pictures and compliments on my girlfriends Facebook page. We are living in a society. There are rules. Harmless or not harmless, you just shouldn't do it. It's like stealing $500.00 from Warren Buffet is harmless, but you still DON'T DO IT. Some things just aren't right.
hotloader Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Hotloader - Listen pal...there is an exception to LITERALLY every rule. You are probably in that 10-20% of males (5-10% are homosexual) who do nice things for RANDOM women on the internet out of the goodness of your heart. Lol. So fake man SOOO FAKE. Before you jump to presumptuous conclusions about me, perhaps you ought to take a moment to read through some of the posts I've made on these forums. I'm hardly a sap when it comes to women. Far from it. In the same sense, I'm not sick enough in the head to willfully insult someone (of any gender), especially when it comes to their feelings related to self-esteem. I'll use it as a last-ditch below-the-belt hit to save face if I have to, but even then I feel bad about it afterward.
hotloader Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Struggling to see what your point is. I'm not in my 20s by the way - though I fail to see the relevance of that here - but encounter plenty of men who make inappropriate creepy comments. Such as the ones you have made in this post. Ain't nothing "creepy" about it Emilia. Or does everything you dislike now get tagged with that word? BWAHAHAHAHAH!
Author chucksagent Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 hotloader - I wasn't being sarcastic or insulting, I truly believe that 5-10% of the heterosexual population are GENUINE nice guys who go out of their way out of kindness and not sexual desires. I didn't mean that in a snarky way or a sarcastic way. I know a guy who is like you; who can be friendly and do friendly things for no other reason. But, I have a large network, and he is the ONLY guy I know like that. So again, playing the odds.
gaius Posted March 24, 2012 Posted March 24, 2012 I know a lot has been said lately about creepers and it's usually a term reserved for men. Women do it sometimes too. A few of the goodlooking player types I have on my FB, I see girls throw themselves at them often with no response from the guys but yet they continue to do it. Same thing. Equally pathetic. One of my guy friends posted something about not feeling well and waiting for Nyquil to kick in or something like that and this girl who I know is only his friend but has been after him for a while posted 'A visit from me will make you feel better'. Blech. Both sexes 'creep'. It's possible he returns her attention over facebook chat or private message. I don't think I've ever been creeped out by a woman's flirting but I have had to delete and ignore posts due to other social obligations.
bikinibeach Posted March 24, 2012 Posted March 24, 2012 chucksagent: you are a hero!! the fact that other people complimented you on it means that they noticed it as well- how embarassing! this still doesn't solve the problem of your weak boundaried attention loving girlfriend. i know this is my advice to pretty much everyone posting on this website but seriously- DUMP HER!! get a cool chick with boundaries and no time for bull****, like me. my guy has some EPIC stories about other guys trying to one up him in front of me, make him uncomfortable and be flirty with me etc and I called them out on it, asking direct questions "Are you aware that I am here with the man standing beside me? Do you realize that your behavior could be misconstrued?" totally dead pan, not even bitchy or angry sounding, just being direct. EPIC. People are such bitches these days.
hotloader Posted March 24, 2012 Posted March 24, 2012 hotloader - I wasn't being sarcastic or insulting, I truly believe that 5-10% of the heterosexual population are GENUINE nice guys who go out of their way out of kindness and not sexual desires. I didn't mean that in a snarky way or a sarcastic way. I know a guy who is like you; who can be friendly and do friendly things for no other reason. But, I have a large network, and he is the ONLY guy I know like that. So again, playing the odds. These are two separate issues here really. You can be a "nice guy" and still know better than to consort with women because you're gonna get burned. I'd like to think that human decency is still alive and well, but sometimes I'm not too sure. I'm not one of those "whiny" dorks that can't score chicks. I've got plenty of "game", but I've realized at this age that the ends don't justify the means anymore. The substance I've been searching for in women for the entirety of my adult life just isn't there. It doesn't exist. Most men I know (including myself) have had to endure major life issues (divorce, alimony, or just broken heart after broken heart) because of the women in their lives. After a while, it stops being cases of isolated incidents and starts becoming the exception to the rule. In fact, I don't know a single man who is happy in his marriage, or hasn't had women cheat, lie, steal from them, etc. Not even my own father has been immune from this $hit, unfortunately. Why? Why bother anymore? I've come to the conclusion that modern women use men for every resource they've got, have absolutely zero character, are morally barren and irreparably corrupt, and utterly confused about their very place in this world anymore. I no longer participate in that silliness. My sexual needs can be dealt with by jerking off. As for the "companionship" that I was seeking for so long, I've come to the realization that it is a futile effort. Realizing that women were shallow shells of what they were 30 or 40 years ago was like waking up from the matrix for me. I focus on myself now, and if a chick with character, class, good looks (by my weird standards), and at least a few laurels that they stick to comes around.....Then maybe I'd consider getting into another relationship...Maybe. That's not a chick you'd meet in a bar on a Friday night though, and I don't keep my hopes up. I'd say I have as much faith in finding someone like that as I would winning the lottery, but I'm not a degenerate gambler either. Actually, the odds are about the same then. Zero. Hahahah.
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