lostlostlost Posted June 12, 2004 Posted June 12, 2004 I have read some of the posts here. I can relate to some. I too am the other woman. I would like to end it, but the thought of not having him in my life scares the hell out of me. But the thought of all the pain it will cause also scares the hell out of me. He begs me not to leave him, but he thinks of only himself I am as lost as my name and if any one can tell me an easy way out I'm willing to listen. There is so much more to this but I can't even voice so much of it still. He has made me feel responsible for his happiness. I am very much in love with him, but no longer happy:).
i was a bad girl Posted June 12, 2004 Posted June 12, 2004 I do also know how you feel. I am the other woman, to a MM with 2 children. I am also scared of everything, the fact that we just almost got caught by his wife, and now that the romance is over. We are still friends and we both have made up our minds that friendship is the most important thing not to loose, however I am the one that is a lone every night when he go to his home with his family. The only thing that I can tell you is the one thing that I think of ever time I am going to cry over this bad situation, and that is I would not change the time I had with him for anything, I was 30 years old before I fell in love and I am glade for knowing what love is and was.
Mr Spock Posted June 12, 2004 Posted June 12, 2004 It hurts. And my MM didn't even return the same feelings for me and it STILL hurts. I will let you know as I get better. If he professed to love me would I have still ended it? I don't know. I would have liked to think I would have if he refused to tell his wife. I'm just glad that it's done with-although I would have liked to be the stronger person.
sinner Posted June 12, 2004 Posted June 12, 2004 Affairs are manic depressive relationships: the highest of highs (usually at onset) and the lowest of lows (usually at end). Heartache and great sex trade places until the sex levels off (as it always does) and all that's left is heartache and yearning. Affairs are easy to get into, and very difficult to end. But end they almost always do. Sometimes infidelity is its own punishment.
jeanie Posted June 12, 2004 Posted June 12, 2004 6 yrs ago I also was the other woman to a man whom had not been married, but was in a relationship for 3 years. We worked together for an airline and ended up in Miami together. We got along so well like we had known one another all our lives. we became consumed by one another on that trip. When we did come back to the states i refused to give him my number due to the fact that he had a GF. Repeatedly he tried to win me over and eventually I gave in. That was a giant mistake one cus we worked together and two cus he was committed to someone else. Over the next year it was more like a roller coaster of emotional hell. Basically me fighting with him to pick either me or the gf. All along he's lying to his gf., going on vacations with me, spending Saturdays with her and inviting me to dinner with his folks?! And telling me he loves me constantly talking about marriage and kids and more importantly he would leave her for me one day, he was just trying to find the right time. he did not want to hurt her. It ended up that I got tired of hiding. And I confronted the gf at her house with a bag full of his clothes, love letters etc. This was my way of saying goodbye i guess it was supposed to be a closure. I figured hed hate me and there is no way she will want to be with him so he'd have to face up to what he did, right. We'll she got over it and forgave him. He still tried to get me back and he did. So the only thing that did was introduce me to the GF. Finally he decides he is going to leave her. that was near the new year. and we went to Miami to celebrate him leaving her finally we could be together! He kept maintaining there after he was not seeing her. But every missed fone call every late evening every suspicious thing i questioned. I could never relax.. It made me madd! Then he started working surprisingly on Saturdays with his father. HMMM suspicion thats odd... and my gut reaction was right. Long story short... the last night i spent with him he was late coming home we argued and I left to sleep at a friends apartment. The next day i left work early and couldn't reach him. I decided id drive past his X GF just out of gut feeling and he was there. That was it for me. I gave up. I was emotionally and physically sick. Aged beyond years. I cried for a long time. Spent hours drinking wine and listening to sad music like in a bad movie. I wrote stories poems anything cuz i couldn't fall asleep at night alone. Listen to me ladies..... and you've heard it before im sure. These are not good men, they are commitment phobic, narcissistic, ego maniacs. They can not be honest, trusted or even be there for you. YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS!!! And you will find better than this... you just have to believe that you will. Being without him will be hard you will cry you will be upset hate life angry etc... but allow yourself to be committed to yourself and no one else! Find out what makes you happy, dont find your happiness in a man. They come they go. If you stay you will loose yourself to unhappiness and a UN-fulfilling relationship. PLEASE GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL HAVE SOME SANITY LEFT!!!! GOOD LUCK LADIES!
jeanie Posted June 12, 2004 Posted June 12, 2004 6 yrs ago I also was the other woman to a man whom had not been married, but was in a relationship for 3 years. We worked together for an airline and ended up in Miami together. We got along so well like we had known one another all our lives. we became consumed by one another on that trip. When we did come back to the states i refused to give him my number due to the fact that he had a GF. Repeatedly he tried to win me over and eventually I gave in. That was a giant mistake one cus we worked together and two cus he was committed to someone else. Over the next year it was more like a roller coaster of emotional hell. Basically me fighting with him to pick either me or the gf. All along he's lying to his gf., going on vacations with me, spending Saturdays with her and inviting me to dinner with his folks?! And telling me he loves me constantly talking about marriage and kids and more importantly he would leave her for me one day, he was just trying to find the right time. he did not want to hurt her. It ended up that I got tired of hiding. And I confronted the gf at her house with a bag full of his clothes, love letters etc. This was my way of saying goodbye i guess it was supposed to be a closure. I figured hed hate me and there is no way she will want to be with him so he'd have to face up to what he did, right. We'll she got over it and forgave him. He still tried to get me back and he did. So the only thing that did was introduce me to the GF. Finally he decides he is going to leave her. that was near the new year. and we went to Miami to celebrate him leaving her finally we could be together! He kept maintaining there after he was not seeing her. But every missed fone call every late evening every suspicious thing i questioned. I could never relax.. It made me madd! Then he started working surprisingly on Saturdays with his father. HMMM suspicion thats odd... and my gut reaction was right. Long story short... the last night i spent with him he was late coming home we argued and I left to sleep at a friends apartment. The next day i left work early and couldn't reach him. I decided id drive past his X GF just out of gut feeling and he was there. That was it for me. I gave up. I was emotionally and physically sick. Aged beyond years. I cried for a long time. Spent hours drinking wine and listening to sad music like in a bad movie. I wrote stories poems anything cuz i couldn't fall asleep at night alone. I think the thing that i kept in mind was i will never love anyone like I loved him. Listen to me ladies..... and you've heard it before im sure. These are not good men, they are commitment phobic, narcissistic, ego maniacs. They can not be honest, trusted or even be there for you. YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS!!! And you will find better than this... you just have to believe that you will. Being without him will be hard you will cry you will be upset hate life angry etc... but allow yourself to be committed to yourself and no one else! Find out what makes you happy, dont find your happiness in a man. They come they go. If you stay you will loose yourself to unhappiness and a UN-fulfilling relationship. PLEASE GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL HAVE SOME SANITY LEFT! Remember the good in him that he loved you and you were lucky to feel that love..but say goodbye, grieve it and move on. i would even suggest not being friends with him or having any contact. Good luck, i empathize with your situation!
Author lostlostlost Posted June 14, 2004 Author Posted June 14, 2004 It's nice to know there is some where to go with all of this. I have already lost a good friend over this so I no longer talk to any one about the fact I AM IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN!!! I soon hope to beable to break away from it. I hope the more of all the experiances I can read here it will help me make that decision to just get out before I do any more damage to myself or worse to him and his family. Again, thankyou.
Recommended Posts