sand26 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 I told a girl at work I was into her a couple of months ago before I left the job (she had a bf at the time), she was professional and told me she was flattered. I understood the hint and haven't texted or seen her since our work together ended. slightly longer past version here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/305583-unrequited-feels-so Saw her at a function last week and heard through a friend she is now single. I was professional and left the event early, she texted later in the night and wanted to hang out. My question: She knows how I feel, is she texting me to be my friend even knowing how I feel?? Or is she open to dating?? If you knew someone was into you would you text them and ask to hang out if you just wanted to be friends?
Leigh 87 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 If she is single, she either: - thinks your a great guy and now that she is single she is free to hang out with you, and would like to do so. In a relationship, you do not hang out with people when they make it clear or you suspect they like you. - she wants something more. Hopefully so:) IF she is still in a relationship, she has no integrity and does not respect her relationship. She is not worth pursing if she is still with her boyfriend. How would you like your partner to ask to meet up with a guy who told her her has a thing for her?
Emilia Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Saw her at a function last week and heard through a friend she is now single. I was professional and left the event early, she texted later in the night and wanted to hang out. My question: She knows how I feel, is she texting me to be my friend even knowing how I feel?? Or is she open to dating?? If you knew someone was into you would you text them and ask to hang out if you just wanted to be friends? If she initiated it all then it's likely that she is interested. Take her out for a drink and find out
Million.to.1 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 I agree with the above posters. I think she is txting you now, because she is single and probably is open to dating now that circumstances have changed. HOWEVER... Proceed carefully. Do you know how long was her previous relationship was? Or how long ago it ended? These are pretty important factors as she might be still very emotionally confused after a break-up and be seeking distraction. People don't do this maliciously, or with much forethought unfortunately.. they just have a hole inside and they are trying to find ways to fill it. I'm not saying that she doesn't like you - not at all.... I'm just saying that she knows that you like her, therefore you are easy to start something/ anything with - even if that is just as a confidence boost or some sexual attention from a male. This isn't her intention... It's just what people do when they are hurting. I would just keep this in the back of your mind.... Ask her out.... but take things slow, keep it light and fun and make sure that she doesn't drag you into a rebound type situation, which is never fun for anybody. Keep us updated.
Million.to.1 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 After finding that other thread, i ask you to PLEASE take it easy with her! ... you were in lust. Please get to know her before letting things get physical. From your other posts i assume you are a good looking young player type that has probably never been in love or been hurt. This girl is fresh out of something else and is vulnerable. Don't take advantage. If you really do like her, time to get to know her as a person. She is more than your sexual fantasy. She is a person, with fears, flaws and failures. She is a human. Get to know the human before the sexual pussycat... and the outcome will better for everyone. 1
Author sand26 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 Million to 1: I knew you would come through for me again, thanks. To answer some of your questions, she has been with him for over 4 years and they lived together. It ended within the last month. I agree that she very well may be seeking distraction or attention. Yet she has gone very quickly from one relationship to another for the past 12 years and will be quickly snagged again I'm sure. So I want to spend some time with her to see if their is genuine potential for a relationship. In regards to me. I am not a player though I do have many options, my position in society does not allow me to be overtly promiscuous or sexually nonchalant. I loved several times in my 20's and have definitely been hurt before, though you are correct that I have not felt "true love" for quite a few years. Good advice about not taking advantage of her and trying to see through my preconceived fantasies (sexual or other) of her. We go out tomorrow, I am being very casual and conservative in my texts and have suggested something simple (lunch) , which she seems very comfortable with. I leave the following day for Moscow and will not be back until May, so I am hoping we have fun and make a connection strong enough to keep us interested. For this girl; I would fight wars. Thanks for ALL your help, I really do appreciate it. -J
Million.to.1 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Sounds good buddy. Sorry, I didn't mean to assume, but from what you posted previously, it sounded a bit that way. She is pretty fresh out of something big. Going away is good. Establish a connection and let the space and time fill the gaps. One month after 4 years is a VERY short time. Please go easy. Good luck and have fun.
Hear Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Million to 1: I knew you would come through for me again, thanks. To answer some of your questions, she has been with him for over 4 years and they lived together. It ended within the last month. I agree that she very well may be seeking distraction or attention. Yet she has gone very quickly from one relationship to another for the past 12 years and will be quickly snagged again I'm sure. So I want to spend some time with her to see if their is genuine potential for a relationship. In regards to me. I am not a player though I do have many options, my position in society does not allow me to be overtly promiscuous or sexually nonchalant. I loved several times in my 20's and have definitely been hurt before, though you are correct that I have not felt "true love" for quite a few years. Good advice about not taking advantage of her and trying to see through my preconceived fantasies (sexual or other) of her. We go out tomorrow, I am being very casual and conservative in my texts and have suggested something simple (lunch) , which she seems very comfortable with. I leave the following day for Moscow and will not be back until May, so I am hoping we have fun and make a connection strong enough to keep us interested. For this girl; I would fight wars. Thanks for ALL your help, I really do appreciate it. -J No girl is worth fighting wars over. Also, I am Russian, watch your self in Moscow buddy...and I'm not your buddy!
Author sand26 Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 No girl is worth fighting wars over. Also, I am Russian, watch your self in Moscow buddy...and I'm not your buddy! OK OK, I wouldn't fight wars for her, but I would attempt to wade through the fires of hell and if you met her I'm sure you would too. I go to Russia often for work and I have always had a guard detail of 5 cars. My profession demands it. And you would appreciate me as a buddy, much more than as an enemy I can assure you. -J
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