sugar2011 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 (edited) Hi! I have never posted here before and i want to hear what you all have to say about the LDR i have. I am in a LDR with a divorced man with a son. We are about 9000 miles apart. We started to get together beginning last year and only officially professed our love in July. Long story short, we get along very well and we always in contact via skype webcam chat and messenger. We chatted almost everything, his son and so on. Early this year, he has an huge arguments with his ex-wife over the upbringing of their son and at the same time i left a birthday msg on his facebook. Then he asked me to delete it because his ex-wife doesn't know that he's dating someone. And he doesn't want some of his friends to inform his ex-wife. He wants me to keep our relationship secret. I was angry and i insisted to know why he never tell me all this and he just shut me out without giving me a proper explanation. That was the first argument we had.Ever since then he has changed. He shuts himself out and we don't chat as often as before. I even asked him when he wants me to go over to visit him. But he gives me all sort of excuses saying he can't get off work and has family gathering. In the end he changed his mind and said he will come to me instead. After that, he has never mentioned about it anymore. Sometimes he goes offline for days which he seldom do that last year. When i asked anything wrong, he said he's busy with his work and son and no other excuses. At times, i just ignored him and he started to get worry. Our conversation becoming shorter and shorter each other and it's just ' Hi, how are you?, i got to sleep, bye'. Whenever i want to talk about something serious, he said he got to go now and more n more excuses again.Lately whenever he wants to chat (he call me), he will want to have sex chat - doing it in front of me. After some time, i am getting more and more unhappy. I don't understand what he intends to do about us. He claimed that he loves me lots but his actions are telling me differently. He still take the initiative to talk to me but always with sexual agenda on his mind. Yesterday, i have wrote him an email and tell him how i feel. I also asked him a few questions mainly, what he wants to do about us, whether he really love me or i am just an illusion to him or i am always available whenever he's bored, lonely or his son is not with him. Before the email, we chatted for several min and he told me to go ahead with my questions and he will answer me. When i wake up this morning, no email from him. He was on facebook but he totally ignored me. So where does that leave us now? He wants a break or he's mad because of the email. Should i continue to wait or just accept that he's not interested to salvage the relationship? Edited March 22, 2012 by sugar2011 1
LDR234 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 I hate to break it to you, but you know that this is all very toxic to you...keeping you a secret from ex-wife and friends....going offline for days at a time....shorter and shorter texts...only sexual agenda when talking to you...you are like a free phone/skype sex hotline. You can do better than him. He has an ex-wife and kid. Do not subject yourself to this and spend your time taking up a new hobby/sport/class---i'm sure you can meet nice single men without baggage there. A relationship is two ways, and this one is only helping him with his sexual outlet. It is totally unfair to you. Block his email and phone number---that way you won't be tempted to reply! I know you have a lot to offer, but this is not the guy you should offer your wonderful love to. Good luck!
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