Me...IamMe Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 I am really tempted to go to my exs just so I can see the dude she's with so I can internalize it. I keep holding on and I just want that slap in the face. She wasn't even going to tell me she started dating only a week after we split after 5 yrs being together. I think I nam still in shock and maybe seeing her with this guy would just make me say screw it. What do you think? I am sick, I still want to marry her and consider her my best friend. But it is not healthy holding on. She may come back, but what the hell do I want that for? Best friends don't **** on you.
betterdeal Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 I understand that urge, but I don't believe it will give you what you want. Closure is like closing a chapter in your life book or closing a door inside you. You have to close it, no-one else can. Whatever rationalisation you dream up, it's always going to involve seeing her somehow. When you dream up things you want to do that don't revolve around seeing her, that's when your closure has come. She cannot make you happy now. Do yourself a favour and try keep away from her. Tell yourself it will be okay, you don't need to see her now, in fact you need to not see her now. It will be okay. Good luck.
LogicallyIllogical Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 She may come back, but what the hell do I want that for? Best friends don't **** on you. You said it all right there. Part of you wants her to come back, but it sounds like you know deep down you wouldn't take her back. You'll never get closure from her. Closure will come from within yourself in time. Eventually you'll wakeup one day and the world will seem full of opportunities again. You'll get there, just take it day by day.
Tiera D Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 hei,well ur ex has started dating another guy once in a relationship i think it should be a closure to you.compared to me i made my ex swear to god that shes not dating anybody,tried to catch her,even questioned her yet i got nothing,either my ex is pretty cunning or im paranoid,a brutal end is better then mixed signals TD
Philosoraptor Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 You don't need anything from anyone else to find closure. Her dating someone else has nothing to do with a relationship that had already ended. I've been down that road and it is simply a bruised ego asking the questions like "how is he better than me?". It truly doesn't matter what she is doing with her life now as your focus should be on yourself. 2
Author Me...IamMe Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 Believe me. It is not a bruised ego. I know I messed up in this relationship. And so did she. For me it has always been that way. Once I see an ex with another dude I feel empowered to say "**** it". If a woman lies to me, I say "**** it". I know the reasons we split. I just can't wrap my head around things until I see it for myself. She is a lovely girl with some issues, like all of us. I still love her and wish the best. But it is like confirmation of what I know I got to do. Maybe this one is different though. Maybe I would just throw up on her shoes. I'll let sleeping dogs lie.
nana841121 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Find closure from within! Throw yourself a pity party ---but give it a two-week expiration date.
flitzanu Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Believe me. It is not a bruised ego. I know I messed up in this relationship. And so did she. For me it has always been that way. Once I see an ex with another dude I feel empowered to say "**** it". If a woman lies to me, I say "**** it". I know the reasons we split. I just can't wrap my head around things until I see it for myself. She is a lovely girl with some issues, like all of us. I still love her and wish the best. But it is like confirmation of what I know I got to do. Maybe this one is different though. Maybe I would just throw up on her shoes. I'll let sleeping dogs lie. what if you walked in on them having sex or something, that would be pretty awkward.
CaliBabe Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Her leaving the relationship with you to date someone else should be a slap in the face already. She is saying she thinks someone else is better than you! What other wake up call would you need? You don't need to physically see her with this guy to get the point that it's over. Let go and stop yourself from further hurt.
Chi townD Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Dude! Why would you need to see them together! Dude, you know that she entered into a relationship just one week after ending things with you. Which tells me that she was probably cheating on you while you two were in a relationship, because you don't end things and IMMEDIATELY jump into a FULL BLOWN RELATIONSHIP with someone else just days after ending your current relationship without having something there to begin with. I hope that made any sense. Dude, she was cheating on you. Point blank. Kick that cheating sl*t to the curb and move on.
coltsfan1 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 +1 for Chi townD, as much as it hurts it IS the truth. She might not have done something physically but the thought was there. Bounce out of her life, you have to accept it. I tried everything from booze to random women and none of it worked. The only closure I got was the decision I made. That decision was she CAN NOT come back no matter what happens. She left you FOR someone ELSE. Tell her to kick rocks in your head and get to living the dream. Just takes time I am 18 months out full NC. Hurt for the first 10 months then I made the decision and the rest is just my past. Good luck, you will get there.
mike588 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 I am really tempted to go to my exs just so I can see the dude she's with so I can internalize it. I keep holding on and I just want that slap in the face. She wasn't even going to tell me she started dating only a week after we split after 5 yrs being together. I think I nam still in shock and maybe seeing her with this guy would just make me say screw it. What do you think? I am sick, I still want to marry her and consider her my best friend. But it is not healthy holding on. She may come back, but what the hell do I want that for? Best friends don't **** on you. I know how you feel...my ex. dumped me for her ex. It's best that you don't do anything just stay away and DO NOT contact her at all. I've been there and know the hurt...my ex. suggested that we be friends...WHAT??? be friends after Fu*king me over the way she did..Never!!! It's been 7 months now and I want nothing to do with her...give it time and you'll feel the same way.
Author Me...IamMe Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 I know she didn't do anything physical with the guy before we split, but she definitly was thinking about it, so in an aspect she cheated on a great dude who cared for her ADHD son and her other son who has anger problems cause his dad left him and the kids a state champion wrestler. Believe me, not easy to deal with and I loved the kids. She cheated for some money, plain and simple. I gaurantee she comes back somewhere down the line and says "please take me back, your the only man that really gives a **** about us". And I'm gonna say. "I love your kids, but who are you again." I think the saying goes. Anyone who would give up liberty to gain security, deserves neither and shall have none. Don't quote me though
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