sid3 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Not in the classical definition, I think that's skeevy. I do have many many crushes, I just can't choose. They're all fabulous... j' adore mi amours...... most definitely:)
sid3 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 What's skeevy about it? Nothing for those that choose that lifestyle. Personally, putting herpes and what not aside, I find it doesn't fit with my beliefs and values. Some people like watching porn, good for them, but again, personally I don't want to see some guy stick his finger up a woman ass different strokes and all that.
Mantis Toboggan Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 This forum seems to be more about desperately clinging to the relationship you have. I couldn't imagine anyone here maintaining multiple relationships. 1
Author mostlyclueless Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 Mantis, the only way to make desperate clinging EVEN BETTER is by doing it to a bunch of people at once. 1
sid3 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Mantis, the only way to make desperate clinging EVEN BETTER is by doing it to a bunch of people at once. I didn't think so, once was enough. What makes it so much better, is it the number of people or the variety of people.
Jane2011 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 I'm not polyamorous, but I was almost lured into a polyamorous situation recently. In October of last year, I met this guy on OkCupid who I talked lightly over email with for two and a half weeks with semi-interest (mostly no interest, just talked to him out of politeness and thinking he was 'pretty alright'). Just before we were slated to go on our first date, I found out that he was not fully single but actually in an open relationship with a girl I coincidentally knew from when I was in grad school (very recently). They'd been together for almost two years and just decided in the three months before I met him to try polyamory. Not a 'swinging' type open relationship, not a 'sexual freedom' open relationship with each of them being each other's main relationship, but actual polyamory where each of them is allowed to have another meaningful, loving, emotional relationship aside from that which they had with each other. Anyway, I went on the date because he talked me into it. I thought I'd be open-minded about it. Plus, I thought I might be polyamory-friendly. And upon meeting him, I ended up liking him a lot and even starting a relationship with him. But...to speed things along, as the weeks wore on (six weeks total), I could not deal with knowing he had another woman other than me. He treated me well and really wanted a second relationship, but I just couldn't deal with it. OP, why do you ask? (I'm fascinated with polyamory now). I wonder if people think polyamorous relationships really are meaningful. Polyamorous people often make the children argument about their choice of relationship style, i.e. "You don't love one of your children more than you love another, so why is it not possible or acceptable to love two romantic partners deeply as well?" My answer to this is: "Because I'm jealous, that's why..." 4
cerridwen Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 New to this forum, just wondering. I have a friend (ish) who is. Why do you ask?
Jane2011 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 I have a friend (ish) who is. Why do you ask? I'm not the OP, but how is it working for your friend?
cerridwen Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 I'm not the OP, but how is it working for your friend? She seems cool with it, Jane. Something I notice though.. She begins by seeing two guys at once and they of course know about each other. Sometimes they all hang out. Things are fine for months upon months but then she ultimately pairs off with one of them and a regular relationship ensues. This has happened twice now. Seems more like multi-dating than polyamory but I suppose the level of commitment differs as well as intensity of feelings.
somedude81 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Is anyone here polyamorous? I am. I love all the ladies. Well, most of them
Jane2011 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 She seems cool with it, Jane. Something I notice though.. She begins by seeing two guys at once and they of course know about each other. Sometimes they all hang out. Things are fine for months upon months but then she ultimately pairs off with one of them and a regular relationship ensues. This has happened twice now. Seems more like multi-dating than polyamory but I suppose the level of commitment differs as well as intensity of feelings. Yeah, that's not true polyamory. That's why people in polyamorous situations often feel 'nervous' -- there's always the risk of any two people just deciding, 'I'm cool with just you [one particular person]. Later for the other person.' I was in the beginning stages of a polyamory situation -- me, a guy, and another girl. And she wanted all three of us to hang out as well, communal-love-style. I was like...no.
Jane2011 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 She seems cool with it, Jane. Something I notice though.. She begins by seeing two guys at once and they of course know about each other. Sometimes they all hang out. Things are fine for months upon months but then she ultimately pairs off with one of them and a regular relationship ensues. This has happened twice now. Seems more like multi-dating than polyamory but I suppose the level of commitment differs as well as intensity of feelings. I guess I should amend to say that that which you described is true polyamory (everyone knew about each other, everyone was okay with it, and presumably she had feelings for both partners). It was just short-lived polyamory.
John Bigboote Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 I was in the beginning stages of a polyamory situation -- me, a guy, and another girl. And she wanted all three of us to hang out as well, communal-love-style. I was like...no. Silly monogamous people. Always breaking our hearts.
Jane2011 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Silly monogamous people. Always breaking our hearts. John Bigboote, tell me about your polyamorous lifestyle. I am very curious. I almost wish I could have done it.
Anela Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 This forum seems to be more about desperately clinging to the relationship you have. I couldn't imagine anyone here maintaining multiple relationships. And why are you here? To insult people?
Author mostlyclueless Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 I ask because I am in a polyamorous relationship and having a really hard time and I wish I had someone to talk to who wasn't going to be judgmental about it.
Anela Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 I'm acquainted with someone who has been living the lifestyle for five years now, although much of it was her being involved with more than one man, and then running off to date other people when she got nervous over her feelings for them. She always loved one more than the others - although she isn't with him now. She met someone else, and is engaged, but still poly.
Jane2011 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 I ask because I am in a polyamorous relationship and having a really hard time and I wish I had someone to talk to who wasn't going to be judgmental about it. You can talk to me about it. Really. I will not be judgmental. I have an interest in it because of the situation I was in. Of course, I could not talk to him and her (the guy and girl in the situation I was in) without bias and judgment (a little). That's because my emotions were all wrapped up in that situation. But I could hear about your situation without being judgmental. Also, you can just talk about it on this board and demand (even against all likelihood, lol) that no one be judgmental. 1
Anela Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Oh, a guy who hit on me recently, is now in an open relationship. I wondered what took him so long, but I'm also still disgusted that he hit on me, having been in another relationship at the time, and then knowing that I had no interest in being poly. I'm no attracted to him anyhow, but it just seemed to be really egotistical - his thinking that I would melt at being told the things he told me, and just go, "Okay!" 1
Jane2011 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Oh, a guy who hit on me recently, is now in an open relationship. I wondered what took him so long, but I'm also still disgusted that he hit on me, having been in another relationship at the time, and then knowing that I had no interest in being poly. I'm no attracted to him anyhow, but it just seemed to be really egotistical - his thinking that I would melt at being told the things he told me, and just go, "Okay!" Did you say anything to him about it or were you just secretly disgusted?
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