fortyninethousand322 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Im surprised that so many feel 120k earning potential is extraordinary. To me it is upper-middle-class, not hard to achieve with intelligence, a bit of good luck, and an education. Most people I know make somewhere in that range or will in a couple of years. And, it's not 40k on top of 80k, since taxes will be higher. If I was a true gold digger, I'd be asking for at least 300k, so i could have a boat, vacation home, and travel overaeas Not just enough to send my kids to soccer league. Also, for the record, I don't have any debt, but decent savings. Well, if 120k is middle class to you, then I suppose by that measure I grew up dirt floor poor.
Emilia Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Ditto. And my parents paid to work. And they paid high tax rates on top of that. We lived in an abandoned, unheated rabbit hole in the bottom of a gully in a rainy climate. Did you live in Britain?
Author spookie Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 The whole 120 thousand is "living modestly". I live in the richest county in America, my parents barely crack 40 thousand a year. I'd say we live slightly above modestly. Combined with the good looks and fitness it's a bit excessive. To me, her tone sounds entitled. Perhaps I'm wrong, but that's how it sounds to me. Adjusted for col and Depending on number of kids, I'd say you're barely above the poverty line. Nothing wrong with that, and I course I understand it is possible to have a baby and keep it alive with that money. But it's not how I want to live.
johan Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Well, if 120k is middle class to you, then I suppose by that measure I grew up dirt floor poor. You grew up dirt floor poor?! We wished we had dirt floors!! We had to live suspended like bats above a slaughterhouse drainage canal. But we were happy! We had everything we ever needed, and we never felt anything but love when we came home from our 25-hour work days. 5
Els Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 This would be a good option, if I was more emotionally progressive. Maybe I will get there one day, but Im not there yet. In my mind I don't subscribe to gender roles, and I believe the task of delegating work is up to up to individual family, but what i am attrcted to is a man who could be a good provider. But have you actually given thought to what being a SAHM would mean, spook? I know you can't really tell from a person's online posts, but it doesn't seem to be the kind of life that would suit you at all. You WILL have to scale down your lifestyle if you're supporting 4 people on 120k instead of just one, no question about it. And you will be spending most days at home, speaking to no one except your children and husband, or maybe other SAHPs if you have a playdate thing going on. You will give up the career you enjoy for that, and it may not be easy to get back into it in the future. It is no walk in the park, but some do it out of enormous love for their kids. Have you really decided that that is the kind of life that you want for yourself? Or is it more, as xxoo said, that you find high-earning men attractive, and you're bringing up the SAHM bit to justify it to yourself? Hon, there's nothing wrong with finding anyone attractive, there is no need to justify. But you should think about what you genuinely want, and then observe if you are getting the results you desire (ie if you have no trouble dating 120k/year men, fine, but if you can't find them, then it may be time to rethink that). 4
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Adjusted for col and Depending on number of kids, I'd say you're barely above the poverty line. Nothing wrong with that, and I course I understand it is possible to have a baby and keep it alive with that money. But it's not how I want to live. Three kids in the family. Live in NoVA where the COL is pretty high (median income here is like 119 thousand or close to it).
xxoo Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Three kids in the family. Live in NoVA where the COL is pretty high (median income here is like 119 thousand or close to it). I pointed out earlier that the median household income in our area is fairly high, and we only make about 65% of it. Our home, likewise, is about 65% the value of the median home price. What people sometimes miss is that the median household lifestyle is HIGH here. The median family is living in a 2500 sq ft home, with a 2 car garage. There is lots of space between "enough to raise a family comfortably" and "keeping up with the Joneses" in my community. 2
123321 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Wow, I don't know many people making close to 120K here! Median in silicon valley is around $100K. I make about 40k a year. If I go back for more tech certs, I could bump it up to 60k. If it's tech and you want more, Sunnyvale is your place. 1
missyme04 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 As long as both of you are happy with your jobs and you're earning pretty well, then that's fine Now a days, a loooooot of couples break up because of financial issues. Before you get married, make sure that you talk on what should be the plan on budget and all the expenses so you wont have any problems in the future.
sweetsmmr91 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 My brother makes maybe 100k, his wife makes 30k.. and their house is practically a mansion. And they have two cars, two kids, and college savings funds for their little ones. In addition to going to Europe yearly for vacation! With season tickets to all the Huskers sports... I mean, that's living extravagantly on 130k! Haha. I can't imagine living modestly on 120k! I'd happily live modestly on 60k with a husband and 3 kids like my parents did.. and I'd be fine. In a pretty great house, too! Makes me glad to live in one of the most affordable cities in the US! 1
Dust Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 My brother makes maybe 100k, his wife makes 30k.. and their house is practically a mansion. And they have two cars, two kids, and college savings funds for their little ones. In addition to going to Europe yearly for vacation! With season tickets to all the Huskers sports... I mean, that's living extravagantly on 130k! Haha. I can't imagine living modestly on 120k! I'd happily live modestly on 60k with a husband and 3 kids like my parents did.. and I'd be fine. In a pretty great house, too! Makes me glad to live in one of the most affordable cities in the US! But how do they light their cigars with $100 bills with that little money? When they go to Europe each you they probably back pack and stay in hostels. I like to stay in my French Chateux and then take my boat out on the seas. 120k hardly pays for my private jet fuel not to mention staffing cost of the people who serve me way exceed that ammount. What do you want of me to live in a world where I have to look at and flush my own poop. How dare you. I'm a human not some peasant dog. 4
Jeremy87 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Northbrook, lake bluff. Also keep in mind Chicago and some I it's burbs are extremely violent. For example 46 people were shot , 10 to death last weekend. The ghetto pets drive down real estate averages. my friend lives in lincoln park and paid 240k for a nice 2 bedroom. he says its the place to be and safe. he doesnt have silver plated doors. the shootings are almost all in the ghetto. my friend doesn't frequent the ghetto. do YOU? 1
Jeremy87 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 For us, there was a big financial difference between feeling comfortable getting married and feeling comfortable having kids. A lot of the younger posters here are probably not looking to have kids in the next few years, and that makes a big difference in what a partner needs now. Still, why do you need a partner who makes 120k if you make that kind of money? Does the family need 240k? she does and he must be hot and fit.
Jeremy87 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 The whole 120 thousand is "living modestly". I live in the richest county in America, my parents barely crack 40 thousand a year. I'd say we live slightly above modestly. Combined with the good looks and fitness it's a bit excessive. To me, her tone sounds entitled. Perhaps I'm wrong, but that's how it sounds to me. some women dig gold and dog gold
OliveOyl Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 If your car(s) are paid for, you don't have student loans, you don't eat out every night, and you're not living in the Silicon Valley or similar areas (hugely inflated housing prices) then 120k is downright cushy. Even for a family. Now that I recall, we used to live in the Silicon Valley, and even when I became a SAHM (living on ex's income which barely tipped 6 figures) we did just fine. Now, as a single mom living in a lower COL area, I do quite fine on less than 30k/year. It's called budgeting, not buying what you don't need, getting out of debt ASAP, and postponing large purchases until they can be afforded. 2
setsenia Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Hope this doesn't come across as offensive, but what's with the focus on putting kids through college? Granted, mine never had the choice (nurse and a cop... not exactly overly paid professions), but I don't understand what is SO awful about a kid, ya know, paying his own way. My loans are kinda tough, but they don't break my back. And getting a part time job in college is what lead to my current job. Even my sister, who is going to a big public school, and whose tuition costed about 3 times what mine did, is paying for her own way. I can understand wanting to give your kid the occasional support, but what's the thought process behind insisting that you must be able to put them through school? What? In my area, depending on which division, Nurses make good money. It's a very stable and secure profession. A lot of nurses my dad knows make anywhere from 65k to a shockingly even 200k a year if they work a lot of overtime. I think when you decide to have kids, you should be willing to provide more than the bare minimum until they are 18. There is a reason they are considered a "dependent" according to financial aid until the age of 24. This means, unless married or other extenuating circumstances, when applying for financial aid, they have to provide parental income information. If your parents make too much, you can get disqualified for aid. So, even if you live on your own at 18, you still have to provide parental tax info. Also, especially with this economy, you are limited as to where you can work with no experience. A lot of these are minimum wage jobs which are not even close to paying the outrageous costs for tuition at universities. They can get by if going to community college first, but most who go to college right after high school get some sort of assistance from parents. Just look at the cost heavy textbooks. I don't want my kids to struggle like I did, spending 4 years in community college. My H and I plan to put a few thousand away into a fund when each child is born that way it can grow and they have a college fund so our pockets aren't burdened.
setsenia Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 My parents barely crack 40k a year (for a family of five). Interestingly enough though, I live in the richest county in the US. Go figure. You really can live on very little in this country. I also live in one of the richest counties. I still find it difficult to believe anyone can make a living on 40k if your mortgage alone is 2k a month, unless there are roommates of course.
setsenia Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Median in silicon valley is around $100K. If it's tech and you want more, Sunnyvale is your place. I feel you. It's all the techs driving up the outrageous living costs here in SV. But if you look around, there are all kinds of other people making far less than 100k. I don't see how they can justify such outrageous living costs when there is nothing exciting around here at all. We're moving up north when our lease is up so we can actually save for a house and not piss away money with $200 hikes in rent each year.
musemaj11 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Who says I only care about mOney? I also require my dates to be fit and extremely good looking. You are fantasizing. If you keep this up, you are going to end up a childless spinster for the rest of your life like Star Gazer.
Star Gazer Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 You are fantasizing. If you keep this up, you are going to end up a childless spinster for the rest of your life like Star Gazer. Right, because I'm ancient and my whole life has passed!
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 I also live in one of the richest counties. I still find it difficult to believe anyone can make a living on 40k if your mortgage alone is 2k a month, unless there are roommates of course. My parents mortgage is 1000 a month. Small-ish house and I share a room with my brother. We only one car for many years and used coupons. Sure, we didn't go to Disneyland every year (or ever) and I went to a commuter school instead of living on a college campus in order to save money. But, I think my childhood was pretty good.
kaylan Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Professional athletes are probably your best bet then. Most people who work 80 hours a week to make that good money don't have a lot of extra time to spend in the gym to look good. Athletes would though, since it's part of their job. Unless you marry someone like the late Robert "Tractor" Traylor. Lmao...I love the nod you gave to Tractor. He was fun to watch barreling throw the paint on the basketball court. Shame he passed away so young.
kaylan Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 When I married my H, I made well over the $120K you mention. He made about half that. We decided that I would stay home with our kids. This was very important to my H -- he wanted to be the provider -- even though it was not (at the time) the mot logical financial choice. Fortunately, I was able to find work from home which, while not as lucrative as what I had been doing, helped out our finances. Nonetheless, we made many sacrifices during the early years. Fast forward to today, and my H is making well above what I was making when I left the FT work force. I am still working from home. Our sacrifices are fewer and life is generally very good. All of which to say... it's not always so easy to predict the future and, sometimes, risks born out of love are worth taking. Im sorry, but I find it stupid for a mans gender role influenced pride to be more important to him than the overall well being of the family. Quality of life would have been loads better if you didnt give up your career. Not to mention a hefty college fund for the kids, savings, retirement fund, etc 1
kaylan Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 (edited) This would be a good option, if I was more emotionally progressive. Maybe I will get there one day, but Im not there yet. In my mind I don't subscribe to gender roles, and I believe the task of delegating work is up to up to individual family, but what i am attrcted to is a man who could be a good provider. In other words she wants to have her cake and eat it too. And you do subscribe to gender roles. The society we grew up in has molded you to find certain things attractive based on gender roles...hence why a man must provide for you even though you have a means to do so yourself. Hope your cake tastes good. Good luck with that."Lol"...maybe because, 3 years into our relationship, he cheated on me. Since I have self-respect, I dumped him. If his earnings were a dealbreaker, I would have been long gone before that. I likely would have married him, to be honest. Just sayin'. I've been a member here for three years...at least do your research before making snarky presumptuous comments about my character. Im still not surprised. Its always funny how some of the women are who always saying money doesnt matter are always with men who are way more than well off. I know myself and the other men here are not gonna be fooled to think your eyes didnt light up when you found out your bf's profession or income. You had to get a little excited about that. Lets be real. That was my point. Not that you stay with a cheating loser just because hes broke. With men here, you saying "id totally date a modest earning guy" wont mean much when youre currently dating a rich dude. People can say they will do anything, but at the end of the day, youre pretty well off...so thats what we see. Just sayin'. Edited March 22, 2012 by kaylan
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