Say Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 There are some things worrying me about my girlfriend. At first, things were great and I never really had to spend much. Lately, the more I shell out, the more she expects it and doesn't really say thank you. I take her out all the time, we go on dates, see movies. I get her presents. She kept pestering me for this thing on ebay, and I told her I would get it for her but she had to pay me back. After I got it and I mentioned paying me back, she told me she didn't remember talking about that and replied, "Okay, I guess I can do that, I just won't have any of my own spending money..." I told her not to ask me for anything for awhile. Yesterday, while looking at something online me and my friend were getting a subscription for, she saw and without missing a beat asked me to get it for her too. Annoyed, I asked her "You should have at least 6 dollars in your account, right?" "Nope." "But that thing you bought was 35 and you said you had 54." "Oh, well that money is reserved." "So, you have 6 dollars..." "Technically no." Its just starting to get on my nerves. Sure, she initiates all the hangouts. She talks to me first, texts me every morning the moment she wakes up. she's affectionate, too. I mean, we hardly kiss as much as I'd like but still.
Philosoraptor Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 She seems very unfit financially and it seems that you are not compatible in that regard. Does she only want your money? I dunno. Put your foot down on spending your money for frivolous things and you'll find your answer in a hurry.
MrNate 2.0 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 If she grabbed the side of your ass where the wallet is located.
sweetsmmr91 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 I would not continue spending money on her, taking her out for dates is fine.. but still. Most girls who genuinely like a guy aren't going to pressure him to buy things for them, or play games with them about not paying them back. You don't want to be taken advantage, tell her that. And you said "the more i shell out the more she expects it". Stop shelling out. She's learning a behavior, and if there's any future at all you're going to be broke because you've taught her that she can have whatever she wants. I'm sure she likes you, but if this is something that's bothering you now and it isn't fixed.. it's going to get really bad.
FitChick Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 She is ungrateful and that is plain bad manners. Learn to say no or at the very least when she asks for something, "Maybe I'll get it for your birthday/ Christmas/Valentine's Day." When she fails to thank you for something say, "You're welcome" and give her a look.
LBW Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 If the relationship started on equal footing, she probably isn't dating you solely for the money. But it sounds like she is taking advantage of you. And if you let it continue, she'll indefinitely think that you should pay for her at all times. Usually, when we go out, my boyfriend and I pay for ourselves. Sometimes, we'll buy each other food, but that's the general rule. You should be straightforward with her and tell her that you feel used.
TheSingleGuy Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Manipulation is a very slippery slope. She is manipulating you, plain and simple. Women lose attraction for men they can manipulate. 1
musemaj11 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Women dont love. They only offer service and this service is not free. The sooner you realize this, the better off you will be. 2
bac Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 There are some things worrying me about my girlfriend. money..." I told her not to ask me for anything for awhile. Yesterday, while looking at something online me and my friend were getting a subscription for, she saw and without missing a beat asked me to get it for her too. Annoyed, I asked her "You should have at least 6 dollars in your account, right?" "Nope." "But that thing you bought was 35 and you said you had 54." "Oh, well that money is reserved." "So, you have 6 dollars..." "Technically no." Its just starting to get on my nerves. Sure, she initiates all the hangouts. She talks to me first, texts me every morning the moment she wakes up. she's affectionate, too. I mean, we hardly kiss as much as I'd like but still. Do you have sex with her? Does she do for you sexually everything you want sexually from a woman? If she does satisfy you sexually, she has a right to expect that you satisfy her needs as well. It looks like she needs money and it is fair that she expects that you satisfy her needs. It is fair because she gives you what you want (sex) either. Unfortunately, women do not want sex as much as men do. Therefore, the idea of satisfying a woman with just sex is hopeless.
musemaj11 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Do you have sex with her? Does she do for you sexually everything you want sexually from a woman? If she does satisfy you sexually, she has a right to expect that you satisfy her needs as well. It looks like she needs money and it is fair that she expects that you satisfy her needs. It is fair because she gives you what you want (sex) either. Unfortunately, women do not want sex as much as men do. Therefore, the idea of satisfying a woman with just sex is hopeless. If only every woman would just give her price from the get go. It would be a lot easier for men.
dasein Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 After I got it and I mentioned paying me back, she told me she didn't remember talking about that and replied, "Okay, I guess I can do that, I just won't have any of my own spending money..." Dump yesterday. She has no respect, is manipulative, and this will not improve. Can you imagine such words every coming out of your mouth if a friend asked you for money you owed them? I sure can't, and she should have more respect than the average friend does.
zengirl Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 She kept pestering me for this thing on ebay, and I told her I would get it for her but she had to pay me back. After I got it and I mentioned paying me back, she told me she didn't remember talking about that and replied, "Okay, I guess I can do that, I just won't have any of my own spending money..." I told her not to ask me for anything for awhile. Yesterday, while looking at something online me and my friend were getting a subscription for, she saw and without missing a beat asked me to get it for her too. Annoyed, I asked her "You should have at least 6 dollars in your account, right?" "Nope." "But that thing you bought was 35 and you said you had 54." "Oh, well that money is reserved." "So, you have 6 dollars..." "Technically no." This is bizarre behavior, IMO. I've never in my entire life asked a man to purchase anything for me (sure, men have paid for dates and such -- not at my asking), though I've of course given suggestions when asked about Bday or Xmas gifts and reciprocated in kind with gifts on occasions. I would not suggest purchasing gifts if this is the way it goes. It's one thing to buy someone a gift of your own accord, even if it's something they've just said they like but haven't the money to buy/won't get yet/etc (hubby says that sometimes, and I'll buy him the thing as a surprise, and vice versa). It's another to ASK and PRESSURE someone into purchasing things for you regularly. That's not healthy IMO.
binny Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 It's hard to tell whether she is only dating you for the money but she is certainly taking advantage. Yesterday, while looking at something online me and my friend were getting a subscription for, she saw and without missing a beat asked me to get it for her too. Annoyed, I asked her "You should have at least 6 dollars in your account, right?" "Nope." "But that thing you bought was 35 and you said you had 54." "Oh, well that money is reserved." "So, you have 6 dollars..." "Technically no." This is just worrying.. I believe people should live within their means. If she wants the subscription that bad then she should sacrifice something else to get it. Expecting someone else to pay for it isn't right. Not only that, but she lied to you - she said she didn't have the money for it and then when you put her on the spot she admitted that she actually did but wanted to spend it on something else. You need to start saying no. If she is only dating you for money, she will soon ditch you and find someone else. If that happens, you know she was using you.
veggirl Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Yes she is using you. Who honestly asks their BF to buy them gifts or random things they see online, for no reason? That is really mind boggling to me. I can't even imagine doing that. Geez, I told my BF NOT to buy me Xmas or Vday gifts! Quit being such a doormat, tell her no. Poor money management on her part (she doesn't have $6? Seriously?!) is a really unattractive trait, I'd be very wary.
waiting4u Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 She sounds really shallow. Either that or really broke. I admit that I do this sort of thing with my father sometimes because he never tells me no when I ask him for financial help. It's easy to forget in these situations that your benefactor / boyfriend / father / whatever is not in possession of a bottomless pit of money. I wouldn't buy her anymore gifts. I would see her a little less (and maybe she'll get the message that she's been behaving badly). And maybe just explain to her that if you make more money you spend more money. You have your own bills to pay and can't afford to keep buying her things all the time. Next time she asks you for something, explain to her that it bugs you and it's not acceptable (and possibly a deal breaker for your relationship). If you don't, and you end up getting married or something, it's going to get a LOT worse.
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