The Blue Knight Posted March 27, 2012 Posted March 27, 2012 Maybe so. Maybe I’m feeling a bit foolish for waiting on him for so long. Then I think about our kids. It ‘feels’ like such a ****ty thing for HIM to do…to say wait, wait, wait without having any real intention of following thru…why not just say ‘no’ so I know exactly where he stands? My dad did this to us as kids. Lots of promises that never got fulfilled in the area of family vacations. We don't hold it against him. It's just who he was. Everything was "maybe later" or "next year." It drove my mother nuts. As others have suggested, take them yourself. Don't wait on your husband who by all appearances is among the living dead. And with regard to you having to kick start his libido, that's "relationship apathy" at work. Been there myself. It takes a serious, "we aren't compatible" talk and if that doesn't work, the threat to move on. At least that's how it worked in my case.
Author Danie Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 Well, we went to look at a house yesterday. I’m very-very-very happy. The house is great and a perfect location for us. We are going to start on the process of buying the house and maybe…with luck….we can be moved in before the end of summer. YAY!!! I’ve got to work up my nerve to talk to him about my sexual experience. See, I think he’s not thinking that I’m having issues at the moment because I do initiate sex most of the time…and he’s happy as a clam with his sexual experience. I surly do not want to hurt him in anyway, I don’t want him to think that he’s not doing it for me, that’s not the case. I’m going to give myself a bit of time to figure this out. I’ll probably need your help, please. Traveling, yes, I’ll go do my traveling with our without him. I want it to be with him, but, I don’t really get to decide that for him. I’ll do my traveling when the time is right. I’ll make my plans well known and he will be included in all of it…when the time comes to back, get in the car, and drive away…that’s when he’s going to either be in the car with me or in the house watching me drive away.
The Blue Knight Posted March 29, 2012 Posted March 29, 2012 About sex... This one is a bit trickier. You have reached an age where it is said that women's libido peaks. Additionally, your kids are now quite independent which means you have less to worry about. Do you know that the less stressed you are, the more sex you want? Your H may be having the opposite effect. As much as we think men are always ready to go, it is just a myth. They too have periods of increased and decreased libido. Annoying, isn't it? Just when a woman is ready to get her freak on, her H's priorities shift. A few things that might help. Figure out what he likes. Baseball games, football? Whatever it is and organize an outing based on that. Laugh with him, don't complain, be a fun person. His libido will surely wake up. Also become more affectionate with him. Tell him how sexy he you find him. Up the ante without actually telling him you need him to initiate. He will probably mirror your behaviour if you act like you're totally and utterly in love with him...just like when you first met. If you want romance, be the romantic one. I hope that helps. Yeah, I'm still waiting for the decreased libido to hit Nemo. I've heard that for years and it still isn't happening. Good follow up advice though in your final paragraph. Danie, I'd also add to what Nemo said that some of what you put in your original posting is important . . . that you want to live and experience life and part of that "living" is an active and satisfying sex life with your spouse. Tell him that if you wanted stagnation in the sexual area you would have married a guy 30 years your senior.
Recommended Posts