jamie1987 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 So we have been broke up for 2 weeks now although i have been contacting her still trying to sort things out even tho she said she is not feeling the same about me anymore, but i think she feels like this due to the way i spoke to her as i have an anger problem that im getting fixed with atm. But i phone her last night to see if i could go to her house to see my kid and so i could have a talk with her and she said she can tonight but maybe tomorrow as she had a friend staying ( a girl ) so i said ok ill call u tomorrow, so i did and she sounded like she did not want me to she said she would feel uncomfortable sitting with me and awkward. All i want is to tell her that i can fix this and we can go to couple councilling as i heard this works really well and i will have my anger under control so she will see a different me but she does not want to hear it i just really want to be with her i was with her 2 1/2 years and really know it could work if she just tried but i dont think she belives me
Chi townD Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 You can tell her that your changing until you're blue in the face. She won't believe you. You have to SHOW her. Talking to her in a calm and civil tone. Let her see a good and wholesome interaction with you and the kid. Be happy (even if you feel like crap, don't let that show) smile, laugh....be someone that she wants to hang around with. Action speaks louder than words.
Author jamie1987 Posted March 21, 2012 Author Posted March 21, 2012 You can tell her that your changing until you're blue in the face. She won't believe you. You have to SHOW her. Talking to her in a calm and civil tone. Let her see a good and wholesome interaction with you and the kid. Be happy (even if you feel like crap, don't let that show) smile, laugh....be someone that she wants to hang around with. Action speaks louder than words. I wish i could i think theres something wrong with me dont think i can hadle things like other ppl can shes in my mind 24/7 and i feel like a stalker
TaraMaiden Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 counselling is a good idea - providing you remember one thing, one very important, vital thing: Counselling . is . not . designed . to . keep . people . together. no, it's not. Counselling provides people with a safe, level and even playing field where each partner can express themselves calmly, openly and safely, and really reveal what is on their mind and discuss things logically with an eventual hope of a healthy compromise. counsellors are not there to do the work for you. They arbitrate and guide, suggest and open up avenues of further dialogue, but their job is neither to teach or preach, and they can't fix anything. You have to fix anything. The problem is - both people have to want it. Because one person, on their own, cannot fix what ails 2 people. a relationship is a partnership, and both people are 100% responsible for their 50% of the partnership. 'Blame' is more proportional, but the responsibility of relationship maintenance goes right down the middle. And unfortunately - it seems as though she has 'left the building'. She's quit. even if she were to attend counselling with you, there is no guarantee she would contribute, either fully or honestly, and chances are she would hold back - because nobody, whose heart isn't in it, is willing to expose a vulnerable side, ripe for examination. ergo, in this case, Counselling won't work at all. unfortunately, you're going to have to continue with your Anger Management therapy, and just prove to her, over time, that she can judge by your actions how much you will have changed. This will never guarantee you two guys will get back together again. but it might keep you as good friends - for the sake of your child.
Author jamie1987 Posted March 21, 2012 Author Posted March 21, 2012 does anyone have any other advice thanks to everyone who replyed
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