xztjohn Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 havent talked to her in a very long time. we had a nasty break up where she left me for some guy. i havent heard from her in months and she called me two nghts in a now and texted "can you help me with bio im sorry i dont wanna fail." i helped her out last time when we broke up cause i felt guilty ad her questions were really irrevelant. so why she calling me now and doing this? i took this class like 3 quarters ago. doesnt she have friends that whom she can ask? what u guys think? what should i do? we have been broken up for 6 months now with first 3 months full of drama and last 3 months barely any talking. we r both 20 years old if that matters
TaraMaiden Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 it means, "I dumped you but you still have your uses, and my using you will make me look good." Please! "I would text back - "you're kidding, right?! ex means ex! good luck with your exams - you're going to need it." 1
69ways Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Tell her to jump off a cliff.... She is the worst type, reminds me of mine. In case of need break glass....that how they see us...not worth the hustle dont give her what she wants,she took away your happiness, s.... her Ignore her completely,NC dont fall into the friend-zone for ur own good
smudge21 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 So this girl goes on jumps on someone else and now comes crawling around trying to get you to feed her ego? Although I like Tara's response and it is right, it does show emotion and I believe showing any emotion, whether it be love or anger towards a cheating ex, is a bad thing and they'll only feed off it. You can either ignore her texts/phone calls and give her no response what so ever, or you can be polite and totally un-emotional about it and simply respond with "sorry, not got time, too busy." Just remember, she didn't care one tiny little bit about you when she decided to cheat and hasn't looked back since. So you owe her nothing.
tipsyleprachauns Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Why even bother replying dude. You can do better than that. She wants to use you - don't dignify it with a response.
Philosoraptor Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Can't disagree with the above. No response, just go on with your life.
Author xztjohn Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 i feel so bad, what if she really needed my help. she called me at likke 3 in the morn two days in a row. u think she just trying ti get me to talk? or she needed my help? i feel like this might bite me in the ass if i ever need her help. since she knows alot about my major
TaraMaiden Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 If you study and revise as you should, and attend the lessons, and do your coursework, you usually have enough to not fail. i don't know what pass-mark you'd get, but study and effort pays off. if she's afraid of failing - it's likely she hasn't put the work in.... that is not your problem. If she's callling you now with the sole purpose of getting you to help her with her work - that's not very considerate of her, is it/ look - you can spend all your life agonising about what you do - if her house were on fire, i'd say - "go, what the hell are you waiting for??" It's not. this is self-inflicted. she has nobody to blame but herself, if it goes pear-shaped. the difference between those who pass, and those who fail, is the ones who put the work in.....
Chi townD Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 i feel so bad, what if she really needed my help. she called me at likke 3 in the morn two days in a row. u think she just trying ti get me to talk? or she needed my help? i feel like this might bite me in the ass if i ever need her help. since she knows alot about my major She wants you to help her with her biology class? So, essentially she wants you to do her homework...... Sorry, no. Dude, she's using you so she doesn't fail. That's pretty selfishly motivated don't you think? And what happens IF you did help her. What happens then, "Whew, I got a passing grade! Thanks! Now, I'm gonna go away with my new boyfriend for the weekend to celebrate! See ya later!!!"
Author xztjohn Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 yeah true. she did this before and i helped her but herbquestions were irrevelant. she insisted that i call her lol. i think she using it as an excuse. i get unknown calls from her and random texts like i hope ur happy etc..... she can ask anyone else why me? i took the class like 3 quarters ago why ask ur ex? if u needed help tha bad why u call me a day ago at 3 and left a voice mail or email so i know.
TaraMaiden Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 well, if you believe that in fact, she's just using it as an excuse, and it's just a ploy to get you to respond - what do you think you should do, huh? 1
Author xztjohn Posted March 22, 2012 Author Posted March 22, 2012 very true. i kind of have a soft spot for her :/
flitzanu Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 she totally needs your help, and if she fails it's going to be YOUR responsibility. i'd say call her right away and go do her homework. 2
CaliBabe Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 Dude don't be her whipping boy. You owe her NOTHING. You guys are broken up. If she is not doing well in her class thats her fault for not studying not yours. Don't take on other peoples problems, fix yours first. You are your priority. You will look like such a tool if you go to her beck and call. Be strong man, we're here for you. You'll only be able to move on if you stop the communication and start the healing process.
EgoJoe Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 havent talked to her in a very long time. we had a nasty break up where she left me for some guy. i havent heard from her in months and she called me two nghts in a now and texted "can you help me with bio im sorry i dont wanna fail." i helped her out last time when we broke up cause i felt guilty ad her questions were really irrevelant. so why she calling me now and doing this? i took this class like 3 quarters ago. doesnt she have friends that whom she can ask? what u guys think? what should i do? we have been broken up for 6 months now with first 3 months full of drama and last 3 months barely any talking. we r both 20 years old if that matters Bolded part is all that matters. Reply, "You have already failed." 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 (edited) "I don't give a sh*t about you and broke your heart, but can you help me with my school work?" Really? Do not reply. She is thinking of you at 3am and will use this assignment to ease into your breakup and try to lure you in again. You are still hurting; she is selfish for opening that wound. She has guilt and wants to empty that on you. Do not respond. Let her do her own homework. The excuses people come up with to get their ego stroked. Save yourself---do not respond. Edited March 22, 2012 by BewitchedandBothered
Author xztjohn Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 eeehhh i responded like 2 months ago and ever since then I haven't responded. I dont regret it cause she helped me out alot with classes when we were together and helped me out when we broke up once. So I just responded cause It would make me feel really guilty. I haven't responded to anything she did after that cause I feel like I don't owe her anything anymore.
robertmathis1026 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Okay there's nothing wrong with helping other persons, even it's your enemy. there's wrong nothing with it. help your ex and never ask for retribution and then, if your ex ask for a help for something that you think important, give it a hand! Are you SUFFERING THE PAIN, because your ex DUMP you? Can You imagine, if you can make your ex BEGGING TO BACK WITH YOU? click here to make it HAPPEN!!
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Okay there's nothing wrong with helping other persons, even it's your enemy. there's wrong nothing with it. help your ex and never ask for retribution and then, if your ex ask for a help for something that you think important, give it a hand! Are you SUFFERING THE PAIN, because your ex DUMP you? Can You imagine, if you can make your ex BEGGING TO BACK WITH YOU? click here to make it HAPPEN!! No. Wrong answer in his case.
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 eeehhh i responded like 2 months ago and ever since then I haven't responded. I dont regret it cause she helped me out alot with classes when we were together and helped me out when we broke up once. So I just responded cause It would make me feel really guilty. I haven't responded to anything she did after that cause I feel like I don't owe her anything anymore. YOu do NOT owe her anymore; she can seek assistance at the school/get a tutor, etc. You are still healing and she knows it.
Star Gazer Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Just because she needs help doesn't mean YOU need to be the one to give it to her. Tell her: "No, hire a tutor."
CC12 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Tell her: "No, hire a tutor." Don't forget to add, "And please don't call me at 3 am."
Pens55 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Yeah OP, all of the comments here are spot on. And I bet most of us have been the doormats that ran to the aid of our ex at one time or another. Look at the ex as just another person (because thats what she is at this point)...maybe even less than that bc she treated you poorly. I need you to help me with something or I will fail... would you jump and go out of your way to help me? Surely not, treat your ex in the same way.
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