Hello :)

[sunflower11]

I haven not been on the forum lately but I still wanted to come back and give an update on my situation and let everyone know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It has been six months since the most devastating break up in my life so far. It completely crushed me and I hit an incredibly low point. I was in a dark place where pain, emotional and even physical pain was all I felt 24/7. I cried and begged and called obsessively and he ignored me every time I tried to reach out to get closure or some explanation as to why he had left me like that. I cried everyday for two months and got horrible eye bags. I kept thinking that he had probably never cared about me at all if it was so easy for him to forget and flip the page. All the promises and “I love you’s ” seemed like a dream that was never real. I went through all the stages and got confused as to why I would feel angry one day and then really depressed the next day. It was a rollercoaster of emotions for the first three months.

 

I have since moved to another country and I have gone back to University to get my MBA. From the moment I set foot here I just knew this is where I was supposed to be and that every “wrong turn” was meant to take me to this place. I’ve been here for a month and it’s the most wonderful experience I’ve had in a while. There is so much to learn and I meet new people everyday that are so eager to share their language and culture with me. Everyday I wake up and go for a walk and I am reminded of all the beauty there is out there. Yes, I still think about my ex and sometimes I do it everyday but it doesn’t make me sad anymore. I know the break up was supposed to happen because otherwise I wouldn’t be here.

 

I am happy.

 

To all those hurting right now, know that it will be ok. You will smile and laugh and find joy in life again. You lived without that person once and you will do so again. Know that it is very hard to get yourself back up and time alone won’t heal you, you have to help heal yourself. You have to accept that it is over and take the good and leave the bad behind you. Forgive the person who hurt you if you can, and if you are not ready, then embrace the anger you feel towards them as a positive thing for now, but in time, let all those negative feelings go. They don’t do anything for you but keep your mind living in the past. You will have good days and then once in a while, a bad day will come along. Don’t let one bad day ruin the progress you have made with your healing. Don’t let yourself be weak and contact your ex. You will have more good days until the bad days will be just a bad memory in the past. Be patient with yourself and love yourself. Do not get angry like I did if you still feel sad after 2-3 months. This is normal. You are grieving. Let yourself feel every emotion so that will heal. Try to enjoy this time alone you have to get to know yourself and to acknowledge that you made mistakes as well. Don’t over analyze your relationship, but maybe you will realize, like I did, that it probably wasn’t the healthiest or most fulfilling relationship. Maybe you will realize you ignored the red flags and had no boundaries.

 

Talk to your friends, cry, scream, go running.

 

Get a haircut, put your make up on and smile. Even if you don’t feel like it, try to smile every now and then.

 

I want to share with you one last thought that my father shared with me when I was younger:

 

Go out to the street and find a rock. Pick it up and hold it in your hand and be thankful for all the blessings in your life. Be thankful that you are alive and you can feel. Whether it is pain or happiness or sadness or anger, be thankful you can feel. A rock feels no emotion. Be thankful that you have a heart and you can love, even if you got hurt and the other person didn’t love you like you deserved, you still have a heart that can love.

 

You may keep this rock with you and hold it tightly in your hands whenever you are having a bad moment, or throw it as far away as you can and free yourself.

 

Sending all my love and positive thoughts to all of you!

[Mack05]

I kept thinking that he had probably never cared about me at all if it was so easy for him to forget and flip the page. All the promises and “I love you’s ” seemed like a dream that was never real. I went through all the stages and got confused as to why I would feel angry one day and then really depressed the next day. It was a rollercoaster of emotions for the first three months.

 

I have since moved to another country. From the moment I set foot here I just knew this is where I was supposed to be and that every “wrong turn” was meant to take me to this place. I’ve been here for a month and it’s the most wonderful experience I’ve had in a while. There is so much to learn and I meet new people everyday that are so eager to share their language and culture with me. Everyday I wake up and go for a walk and I am reminded of all the beauty there is out there. Yes, I still think about my ex and sometimes I do it everyday but it doesn’t make me sad anymore. I know the break up was supposed to happen because otherwise I wouldn’t be here.

 

I am happy.

 

Actually THIS is my last post on LS for awhile. What an uplifting post . A post that has really made my day. When I was reading it, I thought it was me posting this in 6 months time! I can totally reasonate with your post above. I am a good bit behind you in terms of my recovery from a broken heart, but I am becoming happy within myself. Sure I am still badly hurting and sometimes I get angry. Like you, I wonder if my ex ever had real genuine feelings for me. She said she loved me many times, but her actions suggest(ed) otherwise. I think she loved the dream, never me which makes sense now. To scared to commit, to blinded over her real issues, to in denial to accept responsibility..That is hard to accept, but when your happy in yourself its so much easier to deal with it. You believe it's her loss more than yours.

 

I moved country too sunflower. Moving works as long as your running to something and not away from it. Before I moved, I got into to much of a routine in my recent past. I got lazy and stop taking real care of myself, with bad consquences. Sometimes a change works wonders because it takes you out of that lazy zone and forces you back out into the world.

 

I am in my new country 7 weeks now (only 3 cloudy days!). Been training real hard, eating well for 4 months non stop. Lost loads of weight and have a healthy sun tan. I am learning the language, meeting new people everyday. I also walk the beach and enjoy some amazing scencery and sunsets in the evenings. These days, I travel every weekend to see a new place, wheter inland or along the coast. It's so liberating. I love this country. Its so beautiful. It was sink or swim time in my life and I am glad to say I am swimming and loving it. I recognize myself in the mirror again.

 

I'm always smiling, always approaching people when I am out. Sometimes it can be lonely, but its getting less and less as I build up a new circle of friends. They are younger then me as well and that helps me feel younger then I am. It's given me a new zest for life. I have also reconnected with old friends since I have moved and for the next 2 months I have friends and family visiting me back to back, literally non stop (I live in a beautiful holiday resort and they are taking advantage ).

 

Sunflower this is a great post. We all have the ability to turn things around in our lives and find genuine happiness. To learn and to grow as people from our experiences. I congratulate you on your new life and wish you every success for your happy future ahead..

Edited March 21, 2012 by Mack05