how on earth are people ok with this?

[oaks]

I'm not a native speaker, so what do I know, but I always perceived "dating" to be a tad more serious than "going out on dates". And the only reason that explains to me why various people are so upset about the term multi-dating is that it can imply more than just going out and chatting with someone (ok, I still didn't read every post. Don't know, people just seem to get overly emotional over this issue).

 

Fair enough. I hadn't realised English wasn't your first language.

 

I mean, what's the harm in going out and talking to a lot of people, right?

 

Well, indeed! We agree on this!

[silvermercy]

Now you're changing your story.

 

Your post that I had responded to claimed that "people from your country" didn't multi-date--implying that it was cultural, general among the population, and therefore has really nothing to do with individual desirability.

 

Now you're claiming something completely different--that you don't multi-date because you have a lot of options.

 

If you were being honest you would have explained what country you're from and backed up your assertion that not multi-dating was cultural.

 

You wouldn't have bragged about having lots of (imaginary) options.

 

People with lots of options don't need to go around trumpeting it.

Which story am I exactly changing? And I don't live in that country anymore. I date in another country where multi-daters exist. Also, why should I reveal where I come from originally to you?

 

I don't follow your post? Just what are you talking about? You don't make sense.

 

I don't trumpet anything. I only REPLIED to some posts which were implying that as a solo-dater I had no options. I replied that, on the contrary, I had a lot of options, and I presented myself as an example. Yes, i don't multi-date for reasons I explained before PLUS because I don't need to. I can pick all the men I want online before I date them. There are a lot to choose from. Which part you did not understand??

Edited March 25, 2012 by silvermercy

[RedRobin]

Single-daters have PLENTY of options, actually. They're just more PICKY.

 

Second that.

[RedRobin]

No, it's not about wanting somebody to stop dating others for you, it's about wanting somebody to not want to date others at the same time as you.

 

Ultimately it is an extension of how an ideal relationship should work - it's not that you don't **** around on each other because you've agreed not to, or as a 'favour' to your partner, it's because you actually don't want to.

 

Respect, courtesy, empathy, consideration, these are the traits being alluded to that are more clearly shown when you don't multi-date.

 

I feel that just dating one person gives a far more natural progression to a relationship than dating several and arbitrarily cutting them off at some point.

 

That about sums it up. Especially the last sentence.

[kaylan]

So your dealbreaker is that your dream-girl MUST be a multi-dater. Otherwise, not compatible. OK. I see no other solution for you. lol You must only date multi-daters. Just as single-daters are appalled by multi-daters you would never date a non-multidater.

No, my deal breaker is that she cant be controlling and giving me ultimatums about only seeing her when I just met her. Stop trying to find your own reasoning behind what I am saying and actually read the words Im typing for you.

 

She doesnt have to be a multidater, but she cant expect me to only date her until I actually have gotten to know her some. If I decide shes gf material, then she can be my only dating focus. So she doesnt have to be a multidater, but I much prefer that she were because itd decrease the chance that shes insecure or clingy based on my experience.

 

Let me repeat to you again. My dream girl does not control my actions, especially when I just met her...doesnt matter what her dating style is...she must not be what I deem a controlling woman.

Well, I guess, I was right. Many people do not equal "dating" with "going out on a date", but with something a bit more serious, including sex, and "multi-dating" for them means that someone is seeing various people at the same time, including sleeping with one or more people.

For me dating is casual dating...the getting to know you period. A relationship comes after that...if Im serious about a girl I will call her my girlfriend...I wont say Im just dating her.

 

And even though Im fine with multidating, I will not sleep with more than one person during a given time period. Its too risky to my sexual health, and well as my mental state. I dont need the potential drama...so I also tell chicks that if they are sleeping with someone else, that Id like to know.

 

Im not cool with all the sexual fluid swapping...seems gross. Kissing is fine...as Ive kissed a couple of different girls in the same night before while at the bar...but anything more is too much for me.

Edited March 26, 2012 by kaylan

[Sanman]

I have done multi-dating and single dating. As a guy, I think multi-dating is a better option for a variety of logistical reasons. For example, I contact girl X online and she gets back to me a week later. We chat a bit and she ends up agreeing to go out with me two weeks from initial contact. Now, in the mean time, I meet girl Y out at a bar. We flirt and she also agrees to a date. Now, I have met two girls around the same time. Which one would I cancel? The one who said yes second? What if online girl answered first, but I did not see the message and said yes to bar girl already? The bottom line becomes that woman are always passively available even if they are not dating more than one person because they are always being contacted/flirted with by men who are interested. Most men only have options after they actively ask a woman out and date her. Thus a man only has options once a woman has said yes. However, if a man offers to take a woman out while she is dating one guy, she can dump him and go out with the new guy. No other action needed. Multi-dating evens the playing field for men in that respect.

 

However, I find I am happier single person dating because I do not compare the women. When multi-dating it is easy to think one woman is better looking, while another is more interesting, and the third is the best on paper. It can leave you unhappy with all your choices, while single dating leaves you with either a happy enough to stay or be single choice only.

[kaylan]

Honestly, sometimes I wonder if some women are either totally exaggerate their online success or if they seem to have set their requirements that low so that the majority of guys think they have a chance with her. I really doubt that any woman can be so good-looking that she gets that many messages a day.

Even if they get that many messages, most of the guys arent serious about the girls they message. Many guys send out mass duplicate messages.

 

So its really silly of her to have an ego about online dating messages from men, considering how desperate for attention some dudes are online. And considering how its the guys job to send messages and the men outnumbering women online.

 

If she were a man receiving many messages from women, thatd be an entirely different story.

[silvermercy]

No, you can only pick one of them, remember?

 

You don't multi date.

Please see a proper definition of dating and multi-dating and then come back to make more ridiculous statements if you wish. Thanks.

[silvermercy]

Even if they get that many messages, most of the guys arent serious about the girls they message. Many guys send out mass duplicate messages.

 

So its really silly of her to have an ego about online dating messages from men, considering how desperate for attention some dudes are online. And considering how its the guys job to send messages and the men outnumbering women online.

 

If she were a man receiving many messages from women, thatd be an entirely different story.

Yeak, OK whatever helps you sleep at night.

[silvermercy]

No, my deal breaker is that she cant be controlling and giving me ultimatums about only seeing her when I just met her. Stop trying to find your own reasoning behind what I am saying and actually read the words Im typing for you.

 

She doesnt have to be a multidater, but she cant expect me to only date her until I actually have gotten to know her some. If I decide shes gf material, then she can be my only dating focus. So she doesnt have to be a multidater, but I much prefer that she were because itd decrease the chance that shes insecure or clingy based on my experience.

 

Let me repeat to you again. My dream girl does not control my actions, especially when I just met her...doesnt matter what her dating style is...she must not be what I deem a controlling woman.

For me dating is casual dating...the getting to know you period. A relationship comes after that...if Im serious about a girl I will call her my girlfriend...I wont say Im just dating her.

Where did I even talk about a girl controlling your actions? Why are you putting words in my mouth? I have denied that repeatedly in my posts saying it's not about commitment. Who said anything about anyone ASKING anything, ever?

 

I shall repeat Andy_K's post who summed it up perfectly I think. Especially bolded part. (No need to repeat myself again and again.) But first, I don't even want to comment on insults or personal attacks that are ready to thrown at someone who doesn't multidate like "insecure" or "clingy"or "controlling". These (UNFOUNDED of course) insults are so ready to come out it's... just unbelievable! LOL Also, don't talk to me about ego when I only used myself as an example to defend myself against others who said I, as a solo-dater, had no options. What was I supposed to do? Lie and say I have not many interests? Most of those messages I get, they are specialized at least, which makes me think they took the time to read a pages-long profile (I did that on purpose), and which I totally appreciate them for doing. (so, yay! Another veiled insult and personal attack to add to the list of clingy, insecure and controlling: about big ego). LOL You know what screams as an egoistic thing to do? Not putting all your eggs in one basket. LOL In our instant gratification modern society, it does not always hold the same meaning it had in the past; but more like it's about me, me, me, and how shall I benefit myself more (which comes from dating multiple people).

 

Originally Posted by Andy_K

No, it's not about wanting somebody to stop dating others for you, it's about wanting somebody to not want to date others at the same time as you.

 

Ultimately it is an extension of how an ideal relationship should work - it's not that you don't **** around on each other because you've agreed not to, or as a 'favour' to your partner, it's because you actually don't want to.

 

Respect, courtesy, empathy, consideration, these are the traits being alluded to that are more clearly shown when you don't multi-date.

 

I feel that just dating one person gives a far more natural progression to a relationship than dating several and arbitrarily cutting them off at some point.

(PS: 'Casual' dating does not exist in my dictionary (or maybe I should add it to the thesaurus as being synonymous to multi-dating). For me, you either date or you don't. Doesn't mean I want commitment. I just want the courtesy and respect to be the only one he's seeing at the moment. And I want someone who would do it on his OWN. Not because I asked him. I would NEVER ask anyone to do anything for me at all. Asking him would have no value at all anyway, would it?) Edited March 26, 2012 by silvermercy

[kaylan]

Yeak, OK whatever helps you sleep at night.

Meh I dont care about your dating life. So my sleeping patterns are indifferent to your life. I was simply giving you the reality of what happens when guys message chicks online.

Where did I even talk about a girl controlling your actions? Why are you putting words in my mouth? I have denied that repeatedly in my posts saying it's not about commitment. Who said anything about anyone ASKING anything, ever?

If a girl I barely know, expects me to put all my eggs into her basket when I barely know her, I find that controlling. Im not doing that for a stranger. If I have to solely focus on one chick for a period of time, then thats a commitment plain and simple. And Im single...so I dont want a commitment until I know girl well enough to decide shes girlfriend material.

 

Whats so hard to understand? I will not have some stranger expect me to be just about them when I barely know this person.

I shall repeat Andy_K's post who summed it up perfectly I think. Especially bolded part. No need to repeat myself again and again. And I even won't comment any further on insults or personal attacks that are ready to thrown at someone who doesn't multidate like "insecure" or "clingy"or "controlling". These (UNFOUNDED of course) insults are so ready to come out it's... just unbelievable! LOL (which makes me think I could be right about multi-daters in general having intimacy/commitment issues)??

Please dont repeat yourself. I think thats what the rest of us have been waiting for. Well that and the moment that you finally understand any of the points being laid out to you in this thread....but that doesnt look like its going to ever happen. So whatevs.

 

And no, plenty of multidaters are just fine when it comes to commitment and intimacy. We date the way we do because we dont want to run the risk of missing out on a particular girl all because some chick we may not even see more than twice, wanted us to date exclusively even though we are strangers. Did you just ignore Mantis' last couple of posts explaining this?

 

Also, you talk about unfounded insults when your camp does the same thing to multidaters by calling us cheaters, whores, and liars. So do cry me a river. After said river has been wept, please do build a bridge that will span across it. Lastly, I would like you cross the bridge thereby reaching the other side. In other word, get over it.

 

Also, don't talk to me about ego when I only used myself as an example to defend myself against others who said I, as a solo-dater, had no options. What was I supposed to do? Lie and say I have not many interests? Most of those messages I get, they are specialized at least, which makes me think they took the time to read pages-long profile, and which I totally appreciate them for doing. (so, yay! Another veiled insult and personal attack to add to the list of clingy, insecure and controlling: about big ego)

Honey. your ego has always been present when it comes to this topic. You think you are better than others here just because you solo date. Its rather laughable that you and RedRobin are so snobbishly upon your high horses when it comes to this topic.

 

Its not hard for guys to read a profile and insert a few things into a message. Youre not special and they are doing it to loads of other women as well.

(PS: Casual dating does not exist in my dictionary. For me, you either date or you don't. Doesn't mean I want commitment. I just want the courtesy and RESPECT to be the only one he's seeing at the moment. And I want someone who would do it on his OWN. Not because I asked him. I would NEVER ask anyone to do anything for me at all. Asking him would have no value at all anyway, would it?)

See? This is what Im talking about. I wouldnt even talk to a woman who doesnt understand nor accept the concept of casual dating. I dont want someone who expects some sort of level of commitment from me when we barely know each other.

 

Wanting us not to talk to other people at all, even though we are strangers, is setting up a commitment. Whether you want to admit it or not, thats what it is.

 

I dont see how its disrespectful to have coffee with another woman when I barely know you myself. What I find uncourteous, is a woman expecting me to put all my eggs into her basket when we are strangers to each other. I find that creepy to be honest.

[Emilia]

 

I dont see how its disrespectful to have coffee with another woman when I barely know you myself. What I find uncourteous, is a woman expecting me to put all my eggs into her basket when we are strangers to each other. I find that creepy to be honest.

 

I think you and silvermercy have very different approach to dating, that's why you are not seeing eye to eye. I think she is unlikely to have dates with a complete stranger, ie she will try to get to know him a little before she starts dating him while your version is probably to start dating as soon as you meet someone that catches your eye. Hence the casual v non-casual differences.

[silvermercy]

Meh I dont care about your dating life. So my sleeping patterns are indifferent to your life. I was simply giving you the reality of what happens when guys message chicks online.

Good. I would be worried if you did.

 

If a girl I barely know, expects me to put all my eggs into her basket when I barely know her, I find that controlling. Im not doing that for a stranger. If I have to solely focus on one chick for a period of time, then thats a commitment plain and simple. And Im single...so I dont want a commitment until I know girl well enough to decide shes girlfriend material.Whats so hard to understand? I will not have some stranger expect me to be just about them when I barely know this person.

Again, who talked about any commitment?

 

Please dont repeat yourself. I think thats what the rest of us have been waiting for. Well that and the moment that you finally understand any of the points being laid out to you in this thread....but that doesnt look like its going to ever happen. So whatevs.

I didn't. So I quoted Andy_K instead. You are repeating yourself, TOO. Have you noticed that? So, i suppose, it's not my fault either then.

 

And no, plenty of multidaters are just fine when it comes to commitment and intimacy. We date the way we do because we dont want to run the risk of missing out on a particular girl all because some chick we may not even see more than twice, wanted us to date exclusively even though we are strangers. Did you just ignore Mantis' last couple of posts explaining this?

No, I did not ignore Mantis posts. I actually found it a bad example.

Missing out? I don't see it that way. I see it as a great risk of NOT making a proper connection with a girl you're already seeing and who could be your ideal partner. But you miss out on making that special connection because there are others in your mind.

 

Also, you talk about unfounded insults when your camp does the same thing to multidaters by calling us cheaters, whores, and liars. So do cry me a river. After said river has been wept, please do build a bridge that will span across it. Lastly, I would like you cross the bridge thereby reaching the other side. In other word, get over it.

My CAMP? LOL Whatever. I think there are many sub-camps in whatever camp you're imagining. Get over it yourself by stop replying to my posts. I'm not sure you will. LOL

 

Honey. your ego has always been present when it comes to this topic. You think you are better than others here just because you solo date. Its rather laughable that you and RedRobin are so snobbishly upon your high horses when it comes to this topic.

HONEY, don't insult me again. I don't think you understand what you are doing. Posters have already reported you I think.

 

Its not hard for guys to read a profile and insert a few things into a message. Youre not special and they are doing it to loads of other women as well.

Problem? Another personal attack. You know nothing about the messages I get, btw.

 

See? This is what Im talking about. I wouldnt even talk to a woman who doesnt understand nor accept the concept of casual dating. I dont want someone who expects some sort of level of commitment from me when we barely know each other.

AGAIN: WHO SPOKE ABOUT COMMITMENT?

 

Wanting us not to talk to other people at all, even though we are strangers, is setting up a commitment. Whether you want to admit it or not, thats what it is.

That's not commitment.

 

I dont see how its disrespectful to have coffee with another woman when I barely know you myself. What I find uncourteous, is a woman expecting me to put all my eggs into her basket when we are strangers to each other. I find that creepy to be honest.

I'm not talking about ONE coffee date. I'm talking about a series of "casual" dates like more than 3 or 5 or 10. Why would someone do that?

[silvermercy]

silvermercy sounds like one of those people who probably has a very strained narrow definition of "dating" which suits her purposes

 

She never "multi dates" but is frequently trolling the internet dating sites to explore "all her options."

 

At best she is a serial "non multi dater," she "officially dates" only one guy at a time, but that doesn't stop her from having an online dating profile, txting and flirting with other guys, constantly holding out feelers to give her "all the options" of dumping whoever she is "officially dating" and moving on to the next guy.

 

She may even be someone who has FWBs and F-buddies but booty calls don't count as "dating."

 

It's better to be honest about what you're doing with your dating partners then pretend to be something that you're not. I'd rather have a girl tell me if we're dating that she's keeping all her options open like silvermercy does, then have someone be doing all kinds of stuff behind my back which I'm not told about because the girl doesn't feel all that stuff is "officially dating" the other guys.

 

The "official dating guys" are most likely the chumps that silvermercy gets to buy her expensive dinners and feed her ego, then when she is done with the "official dating guy" she goes home gets on a dating site and cruises "all her options." Or flirts and txts with a hundred other guys and maybe even has booty calls, which "don't count" because they're not "dating."

Stop trolling, TROLL. Will you? Thanks.

 

Oh I don't flirt with many online. I PICK ONE AT A TIME and I flirt with ONE AT A TIME. I also never did f*ck buddies. Also, please see definition of dating. Because you didn't.

 

But you seem like a troll. So no need to reply further.

[silvermercy]

This is nonsensical. You want the guy to commit to only dating you and no one else, yet at the same time claim you don't want commitment. What you really mean is you want the guy to commit to you to the extent he's only dating you, yet you want to be free to dump him if something better comes along.

 

Then you claim that expressing your views to the guy you are single-dating and want to single-date you, is a worthless exercise and would have no value. Also nonsense since relationships require "communication" to express your expectations. How is the guy supposed to know what your point of view is, unless you tell him?

 

Since that's obvious, the real reason you don't tell the guy is because you don't want him to know that even though you want him not to date anyone else--which most people would consider an indicator of commitment--you still want to be free to keep "all your options" in case someone better comes along.

 

You just don't want to be honest with the guys you are dating. If you actually told a guy you expect him not to date anyone else while he's dating you, most guys would not only expect the same from you, they would also expect you to take down your online dating profiles, stop looking for something better, and close off "all your options." They would also expect you to invest in the relationship enough to consider it a commitment on your part.

 

You're not even "committed" enough to the guys you single date to tell them you are a single dater and expect them to be as well.

 

The only guys who will be willing to go along with this are guys who don't have many or any other options (even if you do have lots of options, the guys you are single dating probably don't).

 

No guy in his right mind with other options is going to commit to single dating a woman who doesn't view herself as "committed" to the relationship. They might tell you they aren't looking around for something better, or not tell you they are, just like you probably don't tell them either, but then what you have is two non-committed people who are lying to each other, and in a word, playing games.

 

Sorry but that's not preferable and you would be better off being honest with the guys you date.

 

And with yourself since if you were capable of being in a healthy committed relationship why would you care about bragging about "all the options" you supposedly have?

Stop trolling me with personal attacks and assumptions. MKK?

Edited March 26, 2012 by silvermercy

[kaylan]

^Dude Im not going to waste my time re-repeating myself to you yet again. I dont really care anymore...and I didnt even bother reading your reply. I just wanted to let you know that if your still having a hard time grasping the point of mulktidaters here, simply reread Mantis' posts or my last post.

 

Oh, and as I said before...if two people are expected to be exclusive to each other in ANY way...that is a commitment. Plain and simple.

 

Enjoy your day.

[silvermercy]

^Dude Im not going to waste my time re-repeating myself to you yet again. I dont really care anymore...and I didnt even bother reading your reply. I just wanted to let you know that if your still having a hard time grasping the point of mulktidaters here, simply reread Mantis' posts or my last post.

 

Oh, and as I said before...if two people are expected to be exclusive to each other in ANY way...that is a commitment. Plain and simple.

 

Enjoy your day.

I've read it. But maybe you're right, it's impossible for a solo-dater to grasp the points of a multi-dater. However, the reverse is true: I think it's also impossible for for a multi-dater to grasp the points of a solo-dater.

Let's solve our differences by staying in our "camps".

 

Enjoy your day, too.

[silvermercy]

You're the one who is personally attacking other people in the thread and calling them trolls just because they don't agree with your rather peculiar view of relationships.

 

Let me clue you in to something, most quality men & women don't view dating as simply a mindless activity to be undertaken to pass the time because they have nothing better to do.

 

For most people, at least reasonably mature people, the process of dating has a deeper objective of trying to form a meaningful relationship, at some point, with someone else who's compatible.

 

The process of dating for most people who focus on one other dating partner to the exclusion of other options is a selection process.

 

For most people, having an expectation that they will only date one other person, and the other person will only date them, represents a pretty serious level of commitment. That's why most people have something called "the talk" when they are ready to commit to that level.

 

Single-dating is supposed to mean there's some level of commitment--at least enough commitment that you STOP looking at "all your options."

 

To you however single-dating isn't a commitment, you've gone out of your way to say it doesn't mean it's a commitment. What that implies is that you're a serial multi dater. You don't single date because you care about the other person, you do it because you're just going through the mechanical motions of being involved with someone with no emotional commitment on your part (admitted by you).

 

You keep saying for people to look at the definition of what dating is to understand you. People who rule their relationships by semantic games are doing just that, playing games. Just like you play games with guys by not telling them what your expectations are, and by going around posturing as a single-dater when that status has absolutely no bearing on your level of commitment to the guy in question.

 

It actually sounds like you're confusing the mechanics of dating with the purpose of dating, which for most people is to play the field until they find someone they can get serious with.

 

If what you are saying is all you want to do is play the field but just one guy at a time, that's fine, but it doesn't make you special, it doesn't make you "better than" people who date more than one other person at a time.

 

If you are only interested in having a good time and not ready to get serious with anyone that's fine but you should be honest about that with the guys you date, you should make it very clear that single-dating on your part does NOT mean any level of commitment on your part, it just means the guy is a placeholder until you find something who tickles your fancy a little bit better.

 

Most quality guys would either just dump you quick and not deal with your game playing or they would tell you that you are free to single date them but they are not going to restrict themselves if you are unwilling to make an emotional commitment to them.

 

Of course you're not honest about how you feel with the guys you are dating so the conversation never occurs. You play guessing games which is why you're having trouble understanding the other point of view being expressed here and reacting to contrary viewpoints with such a degree of anger.

 

You are left dating players who will nod their heads about the single dating thing (if they figure out that's what you want) and then are doing whatever they feel like when you're not around, or doormats who you can't respect and end up dumping them.

 

If you were in a solid relationship right now you would understand this and this conversation wouldn't even be happening.

I didn't read a word. But I'm sure you're seeing things about me that are not there. Please keep the spam coming.

Edited March 26, 2012 by silvermercy

[silvermercy]

No not at all, it's very easy to understand the point of view of a rational solo dater, most solo daters view dating as a serious mate selection process, not as a frivolous entertainment. So they are not going to even bother wasting their time and energy dating anyone unless they are reasonably sure the dating could lead to a serious relationship.

 

You on the other hand don't view multi dating or solo dating as either a commitment process or a selection process. Solo dating is just something you do because....because....well actually in all your posts in the thread I don't think you've ever really explained why you bother dating at all.

 

It sounds like you're chronologically old enough to date guys but not yet mature enough to actually sustain a real deep emotional relationship with

"a" specific guy. The thought of actually limiting your options to the extent of committing is scary so you don't commit. That's perfectly fine, you don't have to commit to anyone if you're not ready to do so.

 

But that being the case, there's really no reason provided by you for preferring solo vs. multi-dating. Since you're not committed to the guys you single date, there's no prohibition against simultaneously dating any one else at the same time. You haven't made any promises.

 

It sounds like you only solo date because you probably can't emotionally handle dealing with more than one guy at a time. Dating can be confusing and complicated but your inability to juggle more than one guy at a time doesn't translate into any level of superiority to those who not only have "all the options" but also have the capacity to explore more than one of those options at a time.

I didn't read this either. I'm just quoting it for information purposes. I think I'll put you on my ignore list until you get banned or something.

 

EDIT: OMG! hahaha! My eye caught some ridiculous assumption that I don't see solo-dating as a commitment process!! LMAO!!! How far from the truth! ROFL!!!! You have TOTALLY AND UTTERLY misconstrued my posts. LMAO.

Edited March 26, 2012 by silvermercy

[silvermercy]

Give her a break, I would guess she is in her late teens or early 20's, it sounds like she has never had a serious relationship yet. The whole notion of dating for the purpose of exploring a possibly committed relationship is just downright scary if you've never ever done it and you come from a culture where it is so repressive that everyone only dates one person at a time (as silvermercy claims her home country is). That sounds like she is probably from some very repressive Islamic country. She wouldn't say where she is from but it can't be the U.S., Canada, or anywhere in Europe since multi-dating is pretty well accepted in all those countries.

 

She is someone who has moved from a repressive culture where the marriages are probably arranged marriages to a wide-open dating culture and is scared by it.

No need to reply further. I have already reported some of your personal attack posts.

[silvermercy]

O

You said several times that single-dating, to you, doesn't mean you want a commitment.

 

Also you're not in a committed relationship right now, are you?

 

Have you ever been in one?

 

If not, what do you know about it in the first place?

 

How did you get into the committed relationship if you single dated someone but never considered yourself as pursuing a committed relationship?

 

Try at least be consistent please.

Please get a life instead of attacking me. Thanks. (And not that it matters, but I'm not from an Islamic country or anything like that.)

Edited March 26, 2012 by silvermercy

[silvermercy]

No one least of all me "personally attacked" you, but you have been attacking others.

 

Guess you just want an echo chamber to validate your peculiar view of dating.

 

That doesn't make it true even if you manage to get me banned.

1. My view is NOT peculiar (here's another personal attack, btw). It's quite common.

2. And I have NOT attacked ANYONE here PERSONALLY, just like YOU did. You, on another hand, made complete posts against MY character, specifically. Repeatedly, too.

[silvermercy]

I didn't attack you, you're attacking me.

 

If you're not from an Islamic country then you're either deliberately or unintentionally not being truthful.

 

You previously made the claim that in your home country people--not just women, but men & women--do not multi date.

 

Other than strict Islamic countries I am not aware of any other entire country where there is a cultural prohibition against both women & men multi-dating--as you claim to be the case in your home country.

 

Sorry but unless you identify what non-Islamic country you could be talking about your claim is just not believable.

WHERE did I attack you specifically? LOL You on the other hand, made a LOT of false assumptions and insults SPECIFICALLY against me.

 

WHO talked about prohibitions!? OMG the way you read posts is... just unbelievable!!!

[silvermercy]

Find one other person in this thread who agrees with you that single-dating does NOT represent a level of commitment to the people who are involved in it.

 

Find one other person who agrees with you that it is reasonable to have expectations of the other perosn, in a dating relationship which you refuse to express to the other person.

 

"Peculiar" is a perfectly apt description for your expressed view of dating:

*****

Peculiar:

 

1. Unusual or eccentric; odd.

2. Distinct from all others. See Synonyms at strange.

3. Belonging distinctively or primarily to one person, group, or kind; special or unique: rights peculiar to the rich; a species peculiar to this area.

n.1. A privilege or property that is exclusively one's own.

*******

I don't like your tone. And, thus, I'm not replying further. Enough with your attacks against me already!

[silvermercy]

Your initial justification for single-dating, on your part, was that was the accepted practice in your home culture.

 

If it's not the accepted practice in your home culture to only single date, then multi dating is permissible, therefore, your claim about your entire culture has to be incorrect. If multi dating is not prohibited in your home culture then how can you possibly justify saying that people there only single date?

 

It sounds like you've projected your own personal experience to your entire home culture.

 

Since you won't identify it there's no way of determining whether anything you have posted is factual.

 

But that's not any reason to get so angry at others for pointing out these discrepancies in what you've said here.

OK. Now WHERE did I attack YOU specifically? Where did I make assumptions about YOU specifically?