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Why do some women have to be so mean when you approach?


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Posted
Yeah, I agree with some people that if she was nice and engaging in conversation that would give you the wrong signal. I've made that mistake before, talking to someone and they think they have a chance... Better to act not interested and let them know. It's all in the body language... at least she didn't insult you or say anything mean.

 

I wasnt even hitting on her per se figured she was standing next to me might as well try to strike a conversation,i didnt realize women only talk to good looking Men

Posted
I wasnt even hitting on her per se figured she was standing next to me might as well try to strike a conversation,i didnt realize women only talk to good looking Men

 

She did talked to you.

 

She answered your questions.

 

She just didn't want to continue talking to you so she left after answering.

 

It seems she just didn't talk to you in the manner you wanted so you call her a bitch and attribute it to she would have talked to you the way you wanted if you were good looking. Most likely she would have talked to you the way you wanted if she was interested in you.

 

She's not obligated to continue talking to you if she doesn't want to.

 

She's not obligated to engage you the way you want her to if she's not insulting you or saying anything mean to you.

Posted

When women act like this they really shouldn't wonder why guys are afraid to approach them.

  • Like 1
Posted
When women act like this they really shouldn't wonder why guys are afraid to approach them.

I agree. But the way I see it, it's on me to not give a **** how they act and just do what I'm doing regardless.....

Posted
When women act like this they really shouldn't wonder why guys are afraid to approach them.

How did she act fear inducing to you?

 

The only thing up for bad behavior to me is the look depending on the description.

Posted
How did she act fear inducing to you?

 

The only thing up for bad behavior to me is the look depending on the description.

 

Anything that might make you look creepy is fear inducing to me. If you're not interested just let the conversation gradual fade, it'll get awkward and I'll excuse myself. No look required.

Posted
Anything that might make you look creepy is fear inducing to me. If you're not interested just let the conversation gradual fade, it'll get awkward and I'll excuse myself. No look required.

 

Not being interested in the conversation is fear inducing.

 

I thought the possibility of she's not interested would have already been up there so that fear would have already been there.

 

I took this "When women act like this they really shouldn't wonder why guys are afraid to approach them." to mean that a gal's behavior makes the guy afraid. Unless the possibility of rejection or disinterest never reaches most guys minds as a gal saying no is never considered? :confused:

 

I thought it would be the gals who are insulting, degrading, or making fun of men that approach them that would have guys being afraid of approaching.

 

Not really surprising if some women dislike being approached if you can't even be disinterested with not insults without getting "when gals act this way they make guys afraid" bit. I doubt many people would find socialization pleasant is they are called a bitch for not engaging the person how they wanted rather than for being insulting or saying something rude. When people act like others should engage them the way they wish it shouldn't be surprising that if not too many people like being approached.

Posted
No not maybe, you definitely shouldn't care that she was rude. I wouldn't let one person's unwillingness to have a conversation effect your self esteem.

 

I totally agree! As if she's that pretty as well. LOL! Don't mind girls like that. they dont deserve your time and effort ;)

Posted (edited)

The times I acted like a bitch when a man approached me (I did sometimes and very much on purpose) were generally because the guy said something off the bat that offended me. As I got older, instead of giving one word answers or hinting at it, I'd just plain say with a smile that I had no interest in talking to someone who, for instance, came up to me and called me "sweetie" and started off grabby (not like boobs or anything, but men who aggressively enter your space, to the point of touching you, where there is room not to -- that and the "sweetie" thing were common annoyances I had when single) when he didn't know me, etc.

 

If he simply wasn't my cuppa or interesting to me, I'd generally be polite for a moment and then try to change locations and say "Have a good night!" if possible. If stuck in the location (i.e. he came over to my table and I can't make a run to the bathroom or anything), I might try the "Have a good night!" and start talking to a friend about something. People might find that rude, I don't know, but I'm not going to talk to a guy I've no interest in (platonically or romantically) all night just to be nice.

 

If it were a friend-of-a-friend, I guess I couldn't say that, but I'd find a way to start talking to someone else and ease out of the conversation. Common courtesy gets a person maybe 3-5 minutes IMO in a bar type setting (less in some, such as if I'm busy grocery shopping or whatnot). Anything beyond that is because I'm interested in what the person has to say. I don't feel obligated to be interested in everyone. And it is hard to work in, "I'm sorry, I'm just not interested," into the first few minutes of a conversation with many men who are not directly expressing interest that early but clearly have interest. There are gracious ways to do it, but they do take time and experience to find. Personally, I never used, "I have a BF" unless I did, because I thought it jinxes a person if they really are looking for someone.

 

I cannot tell, from the OP, what options the woman might've had that were polite or more appropriate if she did not want to talk with you. She certainly can't say, "Have a good night!" I also cannot tell how much courtesy she offered you. It's hard to go by a "look" since people perceive looks so differently, and she did interact with you somewhat. So it's really hard to say. Granted, in the same social circle, a person might get more than my 3-5 minute guideline and it might be polite to continue talking longer since you guys have mutual friends, kind of. That probably depends on the group. If you were anyone but a total douchebag, I'd have a conversation with you if you were a friend of my friend's BF without frustration. But my social circle is close.

 

So, here's my question to you (and anyone else, really): How would you like someone like that (who you're speaking to but who truly doesn't want to get drawn into any conversation with you) to react to you in a way that would not be an issue?

 

How much time should they give you? How much interest should they feign? How many questions should they answer? Etc.

 

When I approached men, I always tried to be receptive to how they felt. If a man gave me one word answers and didn't seem shy or give any other signals of interest, I immediately made an exit. It didn't bother me at all! I thought it was their way of trying to politely express their disinterest or unavailability, and it allowed me to move along with my night as well. I don't try analyzing looks with strangers too often (I find I'm often wrong---with people I know, I'm a pro) so I cannot comment on that part.

Edited by zengirl
  • Like 1
Posted

I wouldn't worry about it. You're taking this way to personal to be like "why do some women do this"... I mean first off I would hardly consider this an approach. I mean it almost would have been rude for you not to say a word or two because she was with you guys. Some people are rude, guys and girls. Why take things so personal? Its why you have all your problems.

 

Listen to yourself.

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