pacman81 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 I would like to try and keep this as much on the topic of the best ways to initiate contact with my ex after no contact as opposed to the reasons why I shouldn’t contact her at all. Of course I would be lying if I said my end goal wasn’t to get back with her eventually…but right now I would just like to get my foot back in the door and open the lines of communication again. I am past the point of feeling like I NEED anything from my ex or NEED to be with her…she doesn’t owe me anything and I don’t owe her anything…I just WANT to be involved in each other’s lives…to what capacity each of us feels comfortable with would be determine with time. But most importantly i am prepared for and fine with whatever the outcome of reaching out to her brings. I plan on contacting her on Friday the 23rd. This is a day I had planned in my mind to reach out to her for the past month if I hadn’t heard from her yet…So this is would not be done impulsively. I originally planned on contacting her on the 23rd because a movie we were both very excited to see together was coming out this weekend based on a book series we read together and really enjoyed and figured it might be a low pressure way of reaching out...this would also have given us 5 weeks of NC and space. Any input or experience on how to break the silence would be appreciated…. Below is a link to the back story on what had transpired between us. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/317199-felt-i-should-post-my-story
Philosoraptor Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Don't make contact until you can do so with no expectations or feelings as you will likely get hurt.
Author pacman81 Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 Thanks Philos, I truly do not have any expectations in contacting her...of course there is a way i would like it to go..and thats why i am interested in possibly the best way to contact her...but i am not expecting it to go in anyone way more than another...she could just as easily say she wants to see me again, she is seeing someone else or not reply at all...i understand and accept this. I do still have feelings for her...but based on the relationship we had (short, hard and fast) and how things ended...i feel reaching out at this point in time is the best move.
JasonRules Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 I am past the point of feeling like I NEED anything from my ex or NEED to be with her…she doesn’t owe me anything and I don’t owe her anything…I just WANT to be involved in each other’s lives Why are you lying to yourself and us? You don't need "need" anything from her, yet you're posting on what's the best way to contact her and you've determined to contact her on the 23rd because there is a movie based on a book you both liked bla bla bla. As someone who is older and wiser to you, I'll tell you in your face that you're in utter denial if you think contacting her after 5 weeks of NC will make a difference. The TRUTH is you STILL CARE VERY MUCH SO, which is why you're secretly hoping for her to be warm and receptive to your moves. My advice to you is to stop lying to us and yourself. Someone who doesn't need someone else (ie. doesn't give a crap) doesn't bother contacting them at all, let alone you planning on the day and reason to contact her. You say you are fine after 5 weeks, but you are not. I suggest you stay away from her. If you contact her you will accomplish nothing, but hurt yourself even more. Stay away. Forget about her. Unless you were a total ******* to her, the reason she dumped you is because she found someone else and kicked you to the curb. 99% of the time this is the only reason a woman dumps a loving and normal guy. So be a man and accept it and quit dreaming about trying to be "friends" with her to "win" her back. You'll look like a desperate little boy in her eyes who doesn't respect themselves.
Author pacman81 Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 Thank you for the reply and advice Jason
marqueemoon4 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Thank you for the reply and advice Jason its truth.. he knows whats up. its all just a big game.
mymission Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Did you go NC straight after the break up? I think that you've given her some space. And if you want her back you've got nothing to lose. You might feel like **** for a few days afterwards but I think its worth a try. If she rejects you then you know for sure its irreconcilable and can move on properly.
mymission Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 And by going NC for 5 weeks you've shown you can be on your own. I've messed it up loads of times its been an epic failure for me. And I've pushed him further and further away because of it. I wish I'd have given him 5 weeks space from the start.
Tiera D Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 contact her but dont ask her out just talk about normal things and keep it interesting by her response u will know whether shes still interested in u.but she turns u down again promise urselve u will end this permanently. TD
robertmathis1026 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 You can contact her but please don't expect too much, when you don't get what you have expected you will feel pain, so I really recommend you to contact her after you have relieved the pain of the breakup Are you SUFFERING THE PAIN, because your ex DUMP you? Can You imagine, if you can make your ex BEGGING TO BACK WITH YOU? click here to make it HAPPEN!!
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