princococo Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 (edited) Hi, This is a new concept to me, I am a 24 yo male, in engineering school and recently have met this girl (22yo female) in a game we both play online, I didn't think much of it at first but we've now been talking together/playing together for a little over a month. So far everything has been long distance only but we were talking/video chatting on skype for upwards of 8 hours a day for the first three weeks, at this point we have made plans to spend a weekend in april together (14th and 15th) of April to see how we would work out. This consists of a 8 hour drive for me. I am an honest guy with good values looking for a LTR if we are going to continue with this, after investing so much time speaking with her and attempting to get to know her I admit I feel I have fallen for her. The issue is... for the past week she hasn't demonstrated nearly as much interest as she used to for the previous 3-4 weeks. She used to always find a way to talk to me, would stay up at night and change her sleep schedule to allow herself to talk to me. She mentioned that she'd look into schools that are close to where I live at in order to finish her degree next year and would look them up online with me. But lately simply communicating with her has become hard. In fact for a period of a week she disappeared out of the blue without giving me a word or responding to any of my messages on facebook etc. Finally she showed up after a week... saying she was sorry we had not talked, we then had a 5 hour conversation So I did what I believe was right, and I talked to her about it, explained that I felt if we were going to attempt going through with this I needed her to communicate with me... She said although she values our relationship she simply cannot spend as much time talking to me as she used to as it distracts her and has gotten her to fall behind on school work, which is fair itself and I respect her discipline in that sense. She also mentioned that she shouldn't make or break my happiness, which slightly contradicts the fact she's been telling me consistently how I made her happy every time we talked for the first 3 weeks we had been talking. Our conversation that night ended on a positive note, where she wouldn't let go off the phone as she said she missed me and it had been awhile since she last talked to me. We then spent two days without talking again, which is fine itself, however when I got back from work tonight she said she couldn't talk to me as she was going to bed and had school in the morning. Fair statement, as we tend to talk for long periods of time when we do hence probably a good idea to get the sleep. She did ask me if I managed to get my days off work that weekend we plan on meeting each other. I said I did, wished her a good night. Roughly half an hour later I was having a discussion with a friend on facebook and noticed she was still online commenting on people's posts and statuses... so I was a bit disappointed by the fact she would spend time to comment people's posts on FB but didn't have the time to talk with me... So I messaged her and said: "so srsly, you have time to post stuff on FB but no time to talk to me?" her answer was: "seriously keeping tabs on me like this, going to bed goodnight" So I'm sitting here pretty much going head over heels for this girl at this point and feel like it's becoming a one-sided relationship. Where I still want to be in contact with her all the time, but on the other hand she seems to be keeping minimal contact at this point... which is completely opposed to how she was acting for the first three weeks we had been talking. She now makes it feel like I'm only an annoyance to her... Maybe it's not much to be worried about but I'd expect more communication and better chemistry from someone I'm planning on traveling a significant distance to meet. (we did however agree to split the cost equally). There are a few other things that seem disturbing to me about this: her relationship status on FB is still "It's complicated" her ex-bf still posts messages on her wall... he did for valentine's day, and tried to say hi to her lately... she publicly ignores him... but it's rather clear she hasn't clearly and decisively cut contact with him as 1. he's still in her FB friendlist. 2. Her relationship status isn't "single" So I pretty much laid it out, should I go through with talking with her still or cut contact with her (which will be hard for me to do at this point)... I'm not too sure she respects my feelings at this point and am not convinced I should invest the effort to drive there and meet her. Is she being fair in the way she is treating me? Am I simply too overly worried or is something fishy? It seems fishy to me, but outside perspective would be appreciated. Edited March 20, 2012 by princococo
Ghisop Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Well, I think people who get involved with people online sometimes are doing it because they want a distraction from things going on around them. Sounds like things aren't cleared up with the ex. I would be a little concerned if I were her and you wrote me that message on facebook. I think you need to relax and see how it plays out. Don't get so attached to her until you meet her.
Author princococo Posted March 21, 2012 Author Posted March 21, 2012 Well as it turns out, I was right, something was rather fishy... So this morning we chatted on facebook for a few minutes, everything seemed fine, she was responsive and we discussed reserving a hotel room nearby her place which we did and she said she'd help pay for the cost and save up a bit of cash every paycheck until then... I wished her a good day and that was it. Then... the worst part... Showed up on skype after work today and waited a few mintues to see if she would talk to me. No answer so I went to shower, came back and said "hello", tried to hold a conversation. I got very short answers and no real feedback... after awhile she said "I don't want you to get attached to me", so I asked her, so why exactly is this... as it is somewhat misleading considering everything you've been telling me. I asked her if we could discuss it over voice in a skype call, she didn't respond. Nothing unusual at this point... So I took the step foward and called her. I didn't get an answer. Roughly two minutes later, I get a phone call on my cell phone. from a blocked number, it's a guy on the phone that says: "So why are you calling my girl and stuff like a creeper, she's sucking my dick right now" and then goes ahead describing her and telling me how she is laughing at me in the background but I can't hear it because her mouth is full... So he starts calling me a creeper and what not and says I'm annoying for calling her etc... I just told the guy that I'd rather not speak with him considering it's a long distance call and he had nothing interesting to say... On the other hand I asked her on FB for an explanation as to this entire business... she told me it's weird someone would call me and that she didn't do anything. The guy called on my cell phone roughly 15 times afterwards... I ignored all the calls. I am usually decent at making sense of things, and understanding people's behavior... but this girl spent upwards of 8 hours a day talking to me, drew portraits and artwork of me and would then come back at me telling me how her teachers found out the portraits she did of me were very well drawn... it felt like before anything else she was a friend... now maybe she was looking for a distraction as the previous poster said but this is beyond weird... Anyhow... thought I'd share how this ended... as it was strange indeed. Maybe she is somewhat childish and just likes to mess with people, nonetheless it is strange.
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