xpaperxcutx Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 I guess I should have taken everyone's advice but in the words of chinese proverbs I intentionally crashed my head into the wall. I'm angry and upset, but mostly angry. As much as he's telling me he wants to make things work, all I'm really getting at this moment is empty words and lack of action. For those who said I settled ( especially you, Kaylan), I realize no matter how much I try to appease to his circumstances and situations right now, I am the one who is unfullfilled in all of this. I'm settling for phone calls and texting and while it was a compromise to see him only once a week, we are now literally not seeing each other at all. No, he didn't apologize, in fact he turned it around on me and telling me how it's my fault I had to see my friends instead of spending time with him. And then when I do give him my days off, he doesn't bother to let me know whether we're going to see each other or not. Which left me, like today, sitting at home and waiting for him. If this is the mild version of being a doormat, I'm ready to sweep him off me and kick him out the door. There's no point in dating someone who can only text " Hey I'm really tired and I'm going to go to bed. Ttyl" So yeah, I told him until he gets his priorities straight, I'm done. His contacts are deleted and if he can give me his time, he knows how to find me. In the meantime, I'm just going to reserve my off days for people worth my time.
Star Gazer Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Waaaaay too much drama for someone you've known literally 29 days and only been on a handful of dates with. 3
eleanorhurting Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 i am sorry to hear this i hate to be the one to say this because people tell me this ALL THE TIME and i hate it but... you need to take it slow! breathe in, breathe out and chill! You guys have barely been dating and there is already too much drama! i know i know easier said than done. But... we can do it! This is not a healthy situation for you if it is this draining this early on
kaylan Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 (edited) At the end of the day the dude got what we all suspected he wanted from the jump. Live and learn, as cliche as it sounds. Gotta start learning to be more objective about your own situations...which is hard for all of us. Dont go back on your word again sister. Youll be fine though. I think this experience was good for you. You came to many realizations about yourself and how you approach relationships. Reflecting and having important realizations about oneself is a big step. You seem to be making the right strides towards figuring out exactly what you want and how to attain it. Once I finally started doing that I became a lot more happier about things. Life is good, and things will work out pretty damn awesomely soon enough. Good luck cutz EDIT: Waaaaay too much drama for someone you've known literally 29 days and only been on a handful of dates with. This. Remember everything weve said from your earlier threads. If things arent smooth in the early goings, then just bail. Dont put up with drama early on anymore. Edited March 20, 2012 by kaylan 2
Star Gazer Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Dont put up with drama early on anymore. But she helped create it. 4
Leigh 87 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 It happens to every one at some point, too much drama too soon, getting caught up in things when really it should be fun, easy, and casual in th early stages. Nothing to worry about, it happens to almost every one, just move on, save your time for people who think your worthy of making an effort for, and learn from this experience as to WHAT NOT to to next time. End it sooner rather than later next time, if you can sense that things are not fulfilling your personal needs.It is easy to drag it out if you like the guy, but learn from this experience that your gut instinct, the guys actions, and your past experiences dictate that mostly, things will not improve, some things this early on are a big RED flag...
Leigh 87 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 But she helped create it. How so? In any case, they are obviously not compatible long term, if there is any drama early on? Or, if papercutz causes unecessary drama, like a lot of people, she needs to address her pesonal issues before having a relationship with anyone.
Star Gazer Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 How so? In any case, they are obviously not compatible long term, if there is any drama early on? Or, if papercutz causes unecessary drama, like a lot of people, she needs to address her pesonal issues before having a relationship with anyone. How so? Read all her threads about this guy. She is the Queen of Unnecessary Dramaland, complete with petulant tantrums. 2
kaylan Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 So yeah, I told him until he gets his priorities straight, I'm done. . "Until"? Sounds like you are leaving the door open for drama. I say shut the door completely. But she helped create it. Youre right, but at the same time this dude was never a saint and she did put up with some grief. 1
Kamille Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Paper, how much do you think his push-pull behavior is what made you feel attraction for this guy? Like, if after your first date - where you weren't super into him - he had been more consistent with contact, do you think you would have still been as into him as you now seem to be?
Professor X Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Waaaaay too much drama for someone you've known literally 29 days and only been on a handful of dates with. I think it's safe to assume we'll see her posting again in a few weeks with a breakup thread. P.S. Sorry for the skepticism. Almost there. 1
Leigh 87 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 How so? Read all her threads about this guy. She is the Queen of Unnecessary Dramaland, complete with petulant tantrums. AFter 29 days, there are more than 2 threads about this guy? Not b eing mean, of course:) I am sure the OP is a good person and can fix their underlying issues:) Best to just be positive. I shall check some out, as I can create unecessary drama, but am mostly aware of why and am getting help for it.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 At the end of the day the dude got what we all suspected he wanted from the jump. Live and learn, as cliche as it sounds. Gotta start learning to be more objective about your own situations...which is hard for all of us. Dont go back on your word again sister. Youll be fine though. I think this experience was good for you. You came to many realizations about yourself and how you approach relationships. Reflecting and having important realizations about oneself is a big step. You seem to be making the right strides towards figuring out exactly what you want and how to attain it. Once I finally started doing that I became a lot more happier about things. Life is good, and things will work out pretty damn awesomely soon enough. Good luck cutz EDIT: This. Remember everything weve said from your earlier threads. If things arent smooth in the early goings, then just bail. Dont put up with drama early on anymore. Kay, I never suspected him of being after sex, if that was the case he would've bailed a long time ago. It's the very fact that he wants to date, yet set me up as a convenience at my expense that's causing me grief. Fine, I can't say I'm a priority, he has work and responsibilities but why the need to backburn me here, and then expect me to be understanding? We got into a huge fight about it over it the phone last night. I was out with my friends and I told him I could see him afterwards and we could spend the entire half day the next day. But he told me it was late and he'd rather see me the next night. Then when tonight came, I didn't hear a peep from him until after he got off work at 11. When I tried to call him, it went straight to voicemail. Then he just texted me he was tired and was going to bed. So I am an idiot for putting up with this. If he doesn't have time to date, he shouldn't get my hopes up. The fact that we do like each other doesn't help one bit.
Star Gazer Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 AFter 29 days, there are more than 2 threads about this guy? Yes. There are at least 7 (seven) threads specifically about him, and a total of 10 (ten) that apply to her current dating situation. Her first freak-out/their first fight occurred on Day 6. 29 days.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Kay, I never suspected him of being after sex, if that was the case he would've bailed a long time ago. You just met him last month … I'm not saying he was only looking for sex, but there is no "long time" involved here. 4 dates total, right? I'm still befuddled how you can fight so much with a person you hardly know. Anyway, I'm sorry if you feel angry or bad - but this was messed up from the beginning. I hope you will try a much different approach next time you meet a guy you like. 2
Professor X Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 You just met him last month … I'm not saying he was only looking for sex, but there is no "long time" involved here. 4 dates total, right? I'm still befuddled how you can fight so much with a person you hardly know. Anyway, I'm sorry if you feel angry or bad - but this was messed up from the beginning. I hope you will try a much different approach next time you meet a guy you like. I don't care what you say, I auto like your posts. 1
Author xpaperxcutx Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 Yes. There are at least 7 (seven) threads specifically about him, and a total of 10 (ten) that apply to her current dating situation. Her first freak-out/their first fight occurred on Day 6. 29 days. S_G if you pay half as much attention to spam thrreads as you do mine, you could've made a great moderator in keeping this forums spam free.
kaylan Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Kay, I never suspected him of being after sex, if that was the case he would've bailed a long time ago. It's the very fact that he wants to date, yet set me up as a convenience at my expense that's causing me grief. Fine, I can't say I'm a priority, he has work and responsibilities but why the need to backburn me here, and then expect me to be understanding? We got into a huge fight about it over it the phone last night. I was out with my friends and I told him I could see him afterwards and we could spend the entire half day the next day. But he told me it was late and he'd rather see me the next night. Then when tonight came, I didn't hear a peep from him until after he got off work at 11. When I tried to call him, it went straight to voicemail. Then he just texted me he was tired and was going to bed. So I am an idiot for putting up with this. If he doesn't have time to date, he shouldn't get my hopes up. The fact that we do like each other doesn't help one bit. Really cutz? Really? You really didnt suspect him of just wanting to smash? Because it seemed like you did a couple weeks back. Hell, a few of us thought he might be after that based on some your interactions together. Either way, I understand your frustration at the backburner stuff...but like we all told you earlier, a guy who actually sees potential with you will make time for you and things will run smoothly. Again, like I said in one of your previous thread, I dont think youd like him so much if you werent so busy and had better options. He would have faded out quick as a flash if you had better prospects floating about.
Star Gazer Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 S_G if you pay half as much attention to spam thrreads as you do mine, you could've made a great moderator in keeping this forums spam free. Don't give yourself that much credit, dear. Leigh asked, and it took me all of 5 seconds to count.
Kamille Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 The fact that we do like each other doesn't help one bit. I'm asking seriously and without snark: how do you know for sure that you both like each other so much?
kaylan Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 (edited) Yes. There are at least 7 (seven) threads specifically about him, and a total of 10 (ten) that apply to her current dating situation. Her first freak-out/their first fight occurred on Day 6. 29 days. Love Shack Detective. I'm asking seriously and without snark: how do you know for sure that you both like each other so much? Ditto. It seems like he didnt like you that much and just led you on. He seems like he just needed a girl around to fill in free time when his schedule wasnt that busy. Edited March 20, 2012 by kaylan
Author xpaperxcutx Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 Really cutz? Really? You really didnt suspect him of just wanting to smash? Because it seemed like you did a couple weeks back. Hell, a few of us thought he might be after that based on some your interactions together. Either way, I understand your frustration at the backburner stuff...but like we all told you earlier, a guy who actually sees potential with you will make time for you and things will run smoothly. Again, like I said in one of your previous thread, I dont think youd like him so much if you werent so busy and had better options. He would have faded out quick as a flash if you had better prospects floating about. My girlfriend said the exact same thing to me. Maybe this is true, but as you can see I tend to post threads when I 'm in a bad mood. And I am in a bad mood and it is why this thread is a rant.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 I'm asking seriously and without snark: how do you know for sure that you both like each other so much? Come to think of it, I don't know. He literally confessed his heart out to me after our fight when I got angry at him for cancelling on me. He started writing to me about how much he wanted to make things work and wanting me to be understanding. Then when I didn't reply to him, he literally said I was dissing him.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 Are you sure he isn't seeing someone else? I had my suspicions. But I only took him for his words when he said he hadn't been with anyone for two years.
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