fortyninethousand322 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Well, I think it would be fairly difficult for him to do so while in college, since the majority of his peers would be in their early-mid twenties. But once he graduates, I think he'll have a far easier time dating if he is willing to open his mind to the women his age around him in his future workplace. Not only are the girls in college generally less ready for relationships, but they are also more sought-after by men (both men his age and men their age), and so some of them (especially the ones he notices, who are slim, etc) tend to develop defense mechanisms due to numerous approaches, as well as Prince Charming expectations. Given all those factors, I figure the college environment is probably not the best one for SD to date in, especially as he lacks the superficial qualities that the younger and more superficial girls tend to prize (height, career, 'coolness', being buff, etc). Aren't there graduate students he can try to date who would be closer to his age?
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 I don't know Hetzer well enough to have a read on him. I have a lot of sympathy for 49k, who I think potentially suffers from some pretty severe anxiety issues based on some of the descriptions of his thoughts. That has nothing to do with women rejecting him because of standards, on his side or theirs. Anxiety is a life killer. I have suffered from it myself, and I have both sympathy and empathy for anyone struggling with it. I do not think, based on his posts and yours, that the reason he is single and the reason you are single are remotely the same. (Sorry 49k, if it was rude to go into this analysis here.) No worries. You seem to be knowledgeable enough on the topic.
somedude81 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 A woman who matches what you are would also have to be an older woman who has had no success V said something similar. Though I'm wondering if inexperienced women my age even exist? If they do, I'm sure they are very rare. I highly doubt it would be a good idea to try and limit myself to such a small demographic. Especially when I've been constantly told that I need to increase the number of girls I ask out out. That's one of the main reasons I preferred younger girls, as they are more likely to be inexperienced. But they have proven to be very superficial. So that's my dilemma. I don't meet the standards of the younger girls who'd be more forgiving of inexperience, and I have no way to meet women my age and if I did, none of them would even be willing to give me a chance.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 V said something similar. Though I'm wondering if inexperienced women my age even exist? If they do, I'm sure they are very rare. I highly doubt it would be a good idea to try and limit myself to such a small demographic. Especially when I've been constantly told that I need to increase the number of girls I ask out out. That's one of the main reasons I preferred younger girls, as they are more likely to be inexperienced. But they have proven to be very superficial. So that's my dilemma. I don't meet the standards of the younger girls who'd be more forgiving of inexperience, and I have no way to meet women my age and if I did, none of them would even be willing to give me a chance. Sometimes I peruse Okcupid using a dummy account where I've answered a lot of questions honestly (like the "are you a virgin" type questions that I don't answer on my real account). Most of the women between 18-35 who answered such questions usually have "I am a virgin" or "I've never been in a relationship" answers flagged as "unacceptable". Granted, it's just an online dating site and some people tend to answer in abstract ideals than in terms of real actual people. But, it's an interesting thing to note. Given what I know of people in real life, I think most women would be very surprised to meet an inexperienced man who didn't have severe mental or psychological problems. Most expect a man to be able to take charge.
somedude81 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Exactly what I was going to say. I've always been flummoxed by SD's age requirements. It also makes him a less desirable candidate to women who COULD potentially be interested in him... On dating sites, when I see a guy that is my age, but has an age range that is significantly younger and only 1-2 years older ("I'm 26 and I'll only date women 19-27") I immediately write him off, because I think he's placing a bizarre standard ("younger women are better!") over a meaningful connection. Odds are a younger woman is going to have had far less drama in her life. Also what if I want to have kids eventually but not in the near future. Would 33 year old woman seem like a good choice?
Els Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Odds are a younger woman is going to have had far less drama in her life. Also what if I want to have kids eventually but not in the near future. Would 33 year old woman seem like a good choice? Possibly good points. But it seems you have 'requirement'ed yourself into quite a corner there. What are you going to do about that? 1
ThaWholigan Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Sometimes I peruse Okcupid using a dummy account where I've answered a lot of questions honestly (like the "are you a virgin" type questions that I don't answer on my real account). Most of the women between 18-35 who answered such questions usually have "I am a virgin" or "I've never been in a relationship" answers flagged as "unacceptable". Granted, it's just an online dating site and some people tend to answer in abstract ideals than in terms of real actual people. But, it's an interesting thing to note. Given what I know of people in real life, I think most women would be very surprised to meet an inexperienced man who didn't have severe mental or psychological problems. Most expect a man to be able to take charge. I figure that most should do what I do. Ignore it. Honestly I am starting not to care about being inexperienced, it's better not to. Try it
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 I figure that most should do what I do. Ignore it. Honestly I am starting not to care about being inexperienced, it's better not to. Try it It probably bothers me more than it bothers women.
ThaWholigan Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Odds are a younger woman is going to have had far less drama in her life. Also what if I want to have kids eventually but not in the near future. Would 33 year old woman seem like a good choice? I don't know how rare an inexperienced older woman is, but I imagine it's not that uncommon. Still, sometimes I think you have to forget about "requirements" a little, the entire topic of it leads me to believe there is an over-analysis on what you want.
somedude81 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Possibly good points. But it seems you have 'requirement'ed yourself into quite a corner there. What are you going to do about that? "The same thing we do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world! date a younger woman.
Els Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Aren't there graduate students he can try to date who would be closer to his age? Grads and undergrads typically don't mix much, at least not in the universities I've been to. Grads seem to live in a whole different world.
somedude81 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 I don't know how rare an inexperienced older woman is, but I imagine it's not that uncommon. Still, sometimes I think you have to forget about "requirements" a little, the entire topic of it leads me to believe there is an over-analysis on what you want. I imagine they are super rare. And that it would be stupid to only limit myself to inexperienced older women.
Els Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 "The same thing we do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world! date a younger woman. ROFL. Good luck with that, Brain.
somedude81 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Grads and undergrads typically don't mix much, at least not in the universities I've been to. Grads seem to live in a whole different world. Yeah, I've never met a grad student. Also, my school isn't exactly known for it's masters program. ROFL. Good luck with that, Brain. Yay, you got the reference! It's good you youngins can recognize the classics.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Grads and undergrads typically don't mix much, at least not in the universities I've been to. Grads seem to live in a whole different world. Really? During my undergrad career, I had about 6 or 7 classes that were cross-listed with graduate classes. Which meant same professor, same room, same time but their course work and reading list was more advanced (although sometimes the course work was exactly the same). Also, what about department mixers? Don't they have those for the entire academic department? Or even older people who went back to finish a degree (older as in late 20s early 30s, not senior citizens).
Els Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Yeah, I've never met a grad student. Also, my school isn't exactly known for it's masters program. Yay, you got the reference! It's good you youngins can recognize the classics. Aww, I'm not that young, SD, I still grew up watching that! I really think you should just chill, since you have less than a year left til graduation. It does seem a bit unfair, but I notice that for men, it gets easier for them after college. For women, sometimes more difficult. Really? During my undergrad career, I had about 6 or 7 classes that were cross-listed with graduate classes. Which meant same professor, same room, same time but their course work and reading list was more advanced (although sometimes the course work was exactly the same). Also, what about department mixers? Don't they have those for the entire academic department? Or even older people who went back to finish a degree (older as in late 20s early 30s, not senior citizens). I have never encountered a 'cross-listed' class. The only interaction grads have with undergrads, IME, is as tutors/teaching assistants.
ThaWholigan Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 It probably bothers me more than it bothers women. Exactly the point. I'm not letting it bother me right now. I got bigger fish to fry
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 I have never encountered a 'cross-listed' class. The only interaction grads have with undergrads, IME, is as tutors/teaching assistants. Interesting. I guess my school was really an odd duck then. Maybe that's what happens when you go to a Final Four... If I may ask how big was the school you went to?
ThaWholigan Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 I imagine they are super rare. And that it would be stupid to only limit myself to inexperienced older women. I don't think super rare. There are women who think guys like us are super rare . I just wouldn't focus on requirements for now. I'm open to dating most women at the moment. Only massive problem for me at the moment is living at home. Race is also a bit of a problem (mum wants me to only date black girls).
somedude81 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Aww, I'm not that young, SD, I still grew up watching that! Really? I thought you were early to mid 20's for some reason. I really think you should just chill, since you have less than a year left til graduation. It does seem a bit unfair, but I notice that for men, it gets easier for them after college. For women, sometimes more difficult. I wish I could. It would make things so much easier for me. But I am completely freaking out and it's affecting my mental state and energy level. My Grad date is set at May 2013 and I simply can not going without a woman for that long. I might as well be in jail. And at least they don't have pretty girls parade in front of the prisoners.
Emilia Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Race is also a bit of a problem (mum wants me to only date black girls). Hope you will have the common sense to ignore what your mum wants in the future. If you don't keep her out of it, it will cause split loyalties in the future and you won't thank you for that, trust me.
somedude81 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 I don't think super rare. There are women who think guys like us are super rare . I just wouldn't focus on requirements for now. I'm open to dating most women at the moment. Only massive problem for me at the moment is living at home. Race is also a bit of a problem (mum wants me to only date black girls). OK, if you don't think older inexperienced women are rare. Why do you think they are inexperienced?
Emilia Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Hope you will have the common sense to ignore what your mum wants in the future. If you don't keep her out of it, it will cause split loyalties in the future and you won't thank you for that, trust me. sorry meant 'you won't thank her for that'
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Really? I thought you were early to mid 20's for some reason. I'm 24 and I grew up with Pinky and the Brain. And Animaniacs. And Darkwing Duck. Heck, I even remember some of the original animated Ghost Busters (not the "extreme Ghost Busters that came on in the late 90s). 1
Els Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Interesting. I guess my school was really an odd duck then. Maybe that's what happens when you go to a Final Four... If I may ask how big was the school you went to? Not large at all, as I was never in the USA or UK (where the largest and most prestigious universities are). Really? I thought you were early to mid 20's for some reason. I am in my mid 20s. I suppose I just started watching TV early. I wish I could. It would make things so much easier for me. But I am completely freaking out and it's affecting my mental state and energy level. My Grad date is set at May 2013 and I simply can not going without a woman for that long. I might as well be in jail. And at least they don't have pretty girls parade in front of the prisoners. Soooo.. if you'd rather be in jail than not be with a girl, and you'd rather not be with a girl than consider looking at your requirements from my and zengirl's point of view... You must really not mind jail, huh?
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