Shocked after 15 years she left

[Longtermgone]

We have had a very long and loving 15 year relationship. Though not married, both divorced. I was there to help raise her kids reapectively when they were 8 n 10. As in any other LTR, you have your great moments and mundane ones. Ours was never abusive, it was passionate though last 8 yeârs has been sought of mediocre . There was no cheating and we were faithful. One major thing was that she has gone through a major physical transformation. From 250+pds to now a svelte 145. She has gotten attention more than ever before, and Iyaelf are a good looking gent as well. We always loved and cares for each other with all the little to big things involved. Though the last 7-8 months I have noticed that she has been alittle distant, to now eventually leavings this past weekend. I can say with certainty she has hooked up with another man. Cause she has confirmed this with me.so something must developed with this other man to some degree in the past months. I accept that I might have lacked with more sexual desire with her. Maybe once twice a month. I also was not as grounded as far as financially as she was. Respectively we are both 46 years old. I just want to know if there is a chance that we might reconcile? Though I did say today that she hurt and lied to me so deceitful while building another foundation with someone else. I was always good to her and her kids as she was loving and caring for me? Please someone tell what went wrong? And why did this happened? I want her in my life to any degree cause I will

Always love her as she stated to me as well. Though earlier today I basically told her I was so hurt and betrayed by her that she is now "dead"

To me and I do not want any contact from her. And that all the past 15 years were nothing anymore. The truth is , though I know

She is with one person, possibly a 2nd one. I still love her and would take her back. Is she feeling any guilt for leaving and being deceitful me? This is day

3 and I'm on hour 10 of NC. So hurt , confused, angry in Virginia. This is also a LDR wash dc to Virginia. Is there a hopeful chance at reconcile? Thanks all

[Dimitris26]

We have had a very long and loving 15 year relationship. Though not married, both divorced. I was there to help raise her kids reapectively when they were 8 n 10. As in any other LTR, you have your great moments and mundane ones. Ours was never abusive, it was passionate though last 8 yeârs has been sought of mediocre . There was no cheating and we were faithful. One major thing was that she has gone through a major physical transformation. From 250+pds to now a svelte 145. She has gotten attention more than ever before, and Iyaelf are a good looking gent as well. We always loved and cares for each other with all the little to big things involved. Though the last 7-8 months I have noticed that she has been alittle distant, to now eventually leavings this past weekend. I can say with certainty she has hooked up with another man. Cause she has confirmed this with me.so something must developed with this other man to some degree in the past months. I accept that I might have lacked with more sexual desire with her. Maybe once twice a month. I also was not as grounded as far as financially as she was. Respectively we are both 46 years old. I just want to know if there is a chance that we might reconcile? Though I did say today that she hurt and lied to me so deceitful while building another foundation with someone else. I was always good to her and her kids as she was loving and caring for me? Please someone tell what went wrong? And why did this happened? I want her in my life to any degree cause I will

Always love her as she stated to me as well. Though earlier today I basically told her I was so hurt and betrayed by her that she is now "dead"

To me and I do not want any contact from her. And that all the past 15 years were nothing anymore. The truth is , though I know

She is with one person, possibly a 2nd one. I still love her and would take her back. Is she feeling any guilt for leaving and being deceitful me? This is day

3 and I'm on hour 10 of NC. So hurt , confused, angry in Virginia. This is also a LDR wash dc to Virginia. Is there a hopeful chance at reconcile? Thanks all

 

 

Ok here is the real deal... The truth in other words.... In the begginin she found you... as an ok (6.5/10) lookin guy but with many qualities to continue with. She cared for her kids as well... So... now that the kids are grown ups... and she felt more free... and she is getting more attention... she thought that "Hey, I can have him... and him... and him... and... oh my ... its so easy... and him and him" (i dont mean she will have 5 or 10 i hope you get the point)

 

Solution: Dont contact her. Dont try to "claim" her from someone else. You will LOSE 100% now. Even if she comes back that will be temporarry. Let some time pass.. (weeks) and try to work on yourself. lose a couple of KG's in this month... make a fancy haircut (nothin special i know u are 46 just something you can put some gel and pull your hair up) *consider a small earing... or actually a dot kind of thing earing (omg my english) always listen happy music and start going out with friends. Now... i know you dont wanna do all these but you MUST for 2 reasons:

1. No one wants the same person they left, back.

2. Even if she never comes back you improve yourself anyway.

 

This is the ONLY way to go. Think about it.

Dont try to convince her of things. or anything.

 

When she makes contact because she WILL act friendly. if she asks you out agree and let her see your new you. IT HAS TO BE NEW though. NEW mind NEW look NEW way to have fun. Now... when u go out... do the following:

 

1. keep it under 1 hour if you go to 1 place

2. keep it 1.5 hours if you go to 2 places.

3. talk ... and talk.. and talk some more... about funny things only (not stupid... just irrelavent things that she will forget 2-3 hours later but she WILL remember that she laughed and had great time)

4. Dont start conversation for the relationship. If she does act like you understand her and respect her opinion

5. DO NOT BE FRIENDS (i understand you but thats it. NO FRIENDS)

6. If she asks if you see someone... laugh gently and reply "well there is something..." no info nothing! (you can also reply as "Not the one i would like to but well yes i do see someone" ) That depends on you and how she will take it... I dont know her so... That gives her the opinion that you still feel for her but you have / try to move on as well. and she will feel insecure again

 

Give us some more info next time

[robertmathis1026]

Be a "new" person, take personality class, physical make over gym ,etc take your time for positive activities. Do your hobby, you can communicate with her. always be friendly and nice, while communicating give her space, never ever talk about past relationship. Past is past, it's time to create the future

 

 

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