Author youngster Posted March 28, 2012 Author Posted March 28, 2012 It's been a few days since I've posted but my soul has been stirred up since I met my ex's cousin for drinks. I was so amazed at how similar the two are. I haven't seen this girl in about 20 years and as of late we have been texting quite often. Since my ex didn't tell anyone of my involvement with her I made up my mind that I wasn't going to say anything either, which is difficult when you are consuming alcohol. So halfway through the night the cousin brings up the ex and says how they had a falling out over the past few years and haven't spoken for some time. I knew this when I was involved with the ex. It was extremely hard to hear about the my ex's current life, however brief it was. We also got to talking about God and his workings in our lives. A few days later the cousin text me asking if I had been praying for her about the relationship between the two of them. I replied that I had and I also had been praying for my ex. She said that it was working because they saw one another the day before and my ex was being really nice to her and was laying the foundation for a relationship again. I found it very difficult to express myself, but told her that I was happy for them and wished them the best. I've been doing good in not cyber stalking my ex lately which has helped immensely but all of this activity made me peek into her life again. She appears really happy to be a whole family again and I am really happy for her. But for some reason I can not shake this curiosity as to why now, her cousin pops into my life. There's also a teeny tiny gut feeling that I get about my ex and I getting back together. I don't dismiss this little sliver of hope, but remind myself that it is over and I must move on like she did. God definitely works in mysterious ways, and at this point, I don't really know what to make of these past few days. It may be coincidental it may not, but at this point I just want to walk in faith; believing and trusting that I will be okay. 2
Author youngster Posted March 29, 2012 Author Posted March 29, 2012 (edited) I still believe in love. Though nowhere in sight, I look forward to the day when I can come back on this site, just to make testimony that it does get better. I want to make note of the strength and resistance I am building. In light of all that is swirling around me this week, and some upcoming events this weekend I am really tempted to look at her online activity. Seeing that I have a big project this Sunday and that I need to stay sharp I was able to convince myself that it's really more than I can handle and am fighting to stay away. Edited March 29, 2012 by youngster
Author youngster Posted April 13, 2012 Author Posted April 13, 2012 God works in mysterious ways. These past few weeks have been particularly strange for me since my ex's cousin popped into my life. I didn't know why she had, but I just continued to pray and let the story unfold on its own. The cousin didn't know my ex and I had dated and I finally let the cat out of the bag last night. She told me that my ex never broke up with her bf and gave me pretty solid reasons as to why my ex was able to successfully pull of this masquerade. She also told me that my ex is a serial cheater and used men like this all of her life, quoting her for saying things like she just doesn't care, and some really heartless stuff. It hurt me to hear the cousin tell me stories of things my ex put other men before me through because I could relate. My ex was like textbook. Her cousin even compared her to a black widow and it totally seems fitting. Everything is still fresh and I'm sorting through my emotions but I feel a bittersweet sense of relief; it's a shame that what we had was not genuine, but I now know that my ex is sick. I pray for her to grow a heart.
pony girl Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Youngster, your far wiser beyond your years. :-D 1
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