blackwidow290 Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 I`ve been with my bf for2 years. It seems that he`s always wanted commitment. Lately,however I`ve started to pick up on cues that he`s reluctant. For instance, he mentioned he wants to live together beforehand to seeme in allsituations.He wants totake me on vacation without havingmade a commitment. I feelthat after 2 years, heshouldnt be treating it as a trial. I`m ready tobreak up andmove on. What do you guys thinkÉ
TigerCub Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 I don't get what you're upset about. You've been together for 2 years and you're having a problem with going on vacation together? What kind of commitment do you need in order to go on vacation? If he's talking about you living together, it sounds like he's pretty serious about the relationship with you. Do you guys have a timeline for when the move in might be?
Negative Nancy Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 He wants totake me on vacation without having made a commitment. :confused:
veggirl Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 Erm. Is the problem the vacation or that he wants you to move in as a trial run?
Casablanca Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 I don't get what you're upset about. You've been together for 2 years and you're having a problem with going on vacation together? What kind of commitment do you need in order to go on vacation? If he's talking about you living together, it sounds like he's pretty serious about the relationship with you. Do you guys have a timeline for when the move in might be? This. You are looking way too much into it. Wanting to move in first sounds like to me that he is thinking of the future and that he is the type that likes to live with someone before asking for their hand in marriage.
Leigh 87 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 I think 2 years is enough time to know if you want a future with someone. He would knwo by now, but still may want to take it slow.
Author blackwidow290 Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 I know people nowadays settle for this kind of treatment. I need someone to know it and to feel deeply enough without this kind of hesitation after 2 years of my time.
jerbear Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Two years is a long time. As long as the pace is moving forward, you shouldn't worry to much. Two years and still have not been on a vacation is kinda of odd to me; but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. I understand your reasons for not cohabiting. It is not an easy concept for some. It is common now but it really goes both ways. I've taken weekend vacations with an SO within 3 months; you'll find out quickly if you two are compatible. If we/I can handle a vacation without outside influence, help, extreme arguments, or whatever; we can compromise and work together. We learn each others thinking methods. The vacation also brings the annoyances out fast. For instance, leaving the toilet seat up, indecisions on things. So if you two survive the vacation, the relationship will be stronger.
Author blackwidow290 Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 thanks for your response. I should clarify that we've taken many small weekend trips, but the vacation I'm talking about here is flying to another continent; we were talking about hawaii. if someone wants to go to that extent, why not just have it as a honeymoon? otherwise, it's lame
jerbear Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 thanks for your response. I should clarify that we've taken many small weekend trips, but the vacation I'm talking about here is flying to another continent; we were talking about hawaii. if someone wants to go to that extent, why not just have it as a honeymoon? otherwise, it's lame The vacation is a trial run before the honeymoon from what I believe. It could also be a way to get engaged? Is that a possibility?
Author blackwidow290 Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 I don't think so, he seems to want to take it to the next level (words), but his actions are indecisive. It's almost like he needs me to push him (something i refuse to do) And The problem is that I don't believe in those kind of trial runs. It's over.
Author blackwidow290 Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 I'm not going to beg anyone.The more time passes, the less likely it feels (from his actions)..like he's getting away with it. ****it. thanks for your help
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