cyr22 Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 It seems like im tied behind the back, and yet only a handful know my situation and it wont matter how I type this no one will truly know who and I are, giving advice to randoms I cant see as beneficially but Ill write the short form of my situation. I am 25, she is 22. We needed a place to live in the summer of 2011,and I found a place for myself a friend. Problem is we needed a third. She agreed to live with us, even though she hadnt spoken to me in 6 or 7 months. Previous to this we had casual sexual encounters that in the end amounted to nothing. When living together it appears we had grown feelings for eachother, her more so towards me, but I still had strong feelings (this was in november). Unfortunately I couldnt give my all to her, I had many issues on my plate that made me closed off to her, and when it came to giving her attention and having sex it just wasnt meshing. we had a very non labelled relationship for a few months....we slept together spent time together, but she just seemed insecure....always wanting to keep tabs on me to the point where i think she wanted to label it. Not only this but we seemed to bicker over the smallest most stupid things during that time it caused a wedge and it was my fault that only until 3 or 4 weeks later, I finally let her into my stressful issues. At this time though, I did not know that she was starting to lose feelings for myself and only until the last couple weeks we have had passionate informative convos. She was also being pursued by a " friend ". This ended up her having some sort of feelings for him until he was caught kissing other women at a bar that she was at as well. This made me think that she was just getting at attention I wasnt giving her.......This caused a riff between my friend, myself and her as I found out through an overheard convo what happened. I was super upset. I felt betrayed when for the last little while, she always seemed to assume I was the untrustworthy one. Now things have Although I never did anything to break her trust. Things seem to have calmed down. Now that my life is good, ive done everything, i wrote her a huge letter telling her how I feel......flowers, ive talk to her for hours on end.......even so much as last week her missing her train to go home and i got her in my car and drove an hour in a snowstorm to get her to the next train station so she could get on. What did she do? gave me a kiss on the lips and a hug. She also stated that shed be upset if i dated someone else and that she just doesnt want to hear about it. Im trying to hard to get a second chance from her, i have to see her everyday it kills me inside...i just literally cry everyday......and yet shes so hellbent on not giving me a chance....but some of her actions say im still attracted to you and i care for you.....i dont know what to do..how can you care for someone so much supposedly and in a few weeks change your mind when you see them everyday. I personally feel shes got somesort of feelings for me in there but i really dont know. She states that she wants space and she doesnt wanna date anyone and she realized that when she liked me she noticed how jealous she was, by asking me who I was with, and where i was all the time. Part of that also really stressed me out more when i was going through a hard time. She says things like tshe doesnt wanna try or she just wants to be alone,but then i catch her at other times doing things like giving me a hug, or kissing me, or cuddling me...I cant see someone who wants to be so far away from me wanting or doing things like that....Things are different its like this is the second time in a row our wavelengths arent on the same path. Im afraid to lose her, i care for her a lot...and id rather hear theres a small chance than nothing...but my hands are tied i just dont know what to do...my brain is cluttered.....i want to give her space but she lives 7 feet away from me. I dont want to think of her dating someone else....Why cant a girl just see whats in front of her, the person trying to hard...........i dont want her to be a regret 5 years later...ive made the mistake in the past of not trying hard enough for someone and here I am now...trying my heart out and it looks like im getting nowhere...
Recommended Posts