PlumPrincess Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 In her profile she says she is criticized for being brutally honest but has yet to contact me and let me know where I stand. So I guess in order to get the truth I have to tell her I welcome her honesty. But it's still strange because she states she is looking for long distance penpals, friends and relationship. Yes I prefer not to be contacted at all if someone is not interested. If she had not responded to me at all since I got off the bus, I would have never called last night. So, what do you want? Have her contact you and tell you the brutal truth that she is not interested in you or not contact you and thus letting you know that she is not interested in you?
Author PhillyDude Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 What's sad is that these really are all his own words. Phillydude, surely you can see how insane you[r dating practices] are, no? Number 12 Why should a 1st phone convo not be light? Also I think I will cut my phone limit down to 25 min instead of an hour now and maybe just 2 conversations before the date.
Author PhillyDude Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 So, what do you want? Have her contact you and tell you the brutal truth that she is not interested in you or not contact you and thus letting you know that she is not interested in you? I'm open to a platonic friendship since I;m not working. So right now it's not a bad idea if she is ok with it.
Necris Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Sounds like you had a good date and worrying too much. Which reminds me the last date I went on went like this. 1. We plan to go to restaurant, I pick her up at her home she is 40 minutes late (for me this is okay gives me time to calm down) when she finally comes out she is dressed very casual and I'm dressed in between casual and formal so I felt kinda silly for dressing up. 2. We talk about our studies and favorite comics and games on our way to the restaurant, she also compliments me on the cleanliness of my car which I thought was nice. 3. We arrive at the restaurant and everything is normal for some reason she decides to strike up an uncomfortable conversation about her man on man gay sex fantasies and keeps asking me repeatedly if I'm into that sort of thing I tell her no and that I don't really want to talk about stuff like that and she keeps going on and on speaking loud enough that the other patrons started turning their heads toward our table. 4. Eventually I managed to switch the conversation to favorite books and she starts talking about how she loves to read rape stories and yells the word rape for no reason during the date and goes on and on about the "fascinating" topic of rape, and she was incapable of whispering so people started to stare. 5. We managed to get off the topic of rape and somehow into history and she was arguing that America should have allied with Nazi Germany and supported them and their efforts, then she started talking about psychology and the world trade center disaster and how she thought it was wierd that anyone would care that a few thousand strangers died and how wierd it is for someone to show empathy for others. 6. I paid for our meals and on our way back (I wanted to leave her at the restaurant but that would be mean especially when its raining outside) the topic somehow switched to religion and she decided to spend the rest of the time bashing my church. I noticed throughout the date she seemed to be enjoying herself but afterwards she never wanted to speak with me again, which was alright since after that experience I really do not want to go on a second date, that was annoying and embarassing, and I highly suspect she acted that way on purpose just to make the date annoying. I've never had a good date.
Mutant Debutante Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Ok, I'm sorry, but this really made me laugh. Yeah, no second date for that chick! She's completely crazypants. Sounds like you had a good date and worrying too much. Which reminds me the last date I went on went like this. 1. We plan to go to restaurant, I pick her up at her home she is 40 minutes late (for me this is okay gives me time to calm down) when she finally comes out she is dressed very casual and I'm dressed in between casual and formal so I felt kinda silly for dressing up. 2. We talk about our studies and favorite comics and games on our way to the restaurant, she also compliments me on the cleanliness of my car which I thought was nice. 3. We arrive at the restaurant and everything is normal for some reason she decides to strike up an uncomfortable conversation about her man on man gay sex fantasies and keeps asking me repeatedly if I'm into that sort of thing I tell her no and that I don't really want to talk about stuff like that and she keeps going on and on speaking loud enough that the other patrons started turning their heads toward our table. 4. Eventually I managed to switch the conversation to favorite books and she starts talking about how she loves to read rape stories and yells the word rape for no reason during the date and goes on and on about the "fascinating" topic of rape, and she was incapable of whispering so people started to stare. 5. We managed to get off the topic of rape and somehow into history and she was arguing that America should have allied with Nazi Germany and supported them and their efforts, then she started talking about psychology and the world trade center disaster and how she thought it was wierd that anyone would care that a few thousand strangers died and how wierd it is for someone to show empathy for others. 6. I paid for our meals and on our way back (I wanted to leave her at the restaurant but that would be mean especially when its raining outside) the topic somehow switched to religion and she decided to spend the rest of the time bashing my church. I noticed throughout the date she seemed to be enjoying herself but afterwards she never wanted to speak with me again, which was alright since after that experience I really do not want to go on a second date, that was annoying and embarassing, and I highly suspect she acted that way on purpose just to make the date annoying. I've never had a good date.
sweetsmmr91 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Oh my gosh, Necris that sounds like something cracked.com would make as a parody of a date. Jeeze! Sounds like she was either nuts, or wanted to make you think she was nuts. I thought I had it bad because my last date was with a guy who was some big deal at a cell phone company, and spent the entire date talking about how the iPhone is superior, while messing around on it at the table, and then criticizing me for being a vegetarian, and letting me know that the dish I ordered probably had way more calories than the chicken salad and pulled up the app to count all the calories in my meal. Then brought up really scientific topics that were a bit over my head and smiled at me when I was confused, and said "well you have pretty hair". What?! Then smirked at me when I told him what my major is and said "that's cute". Rude. Some dates just suck. Haha. That's life!
Necris Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Oh my gosh, Necris that sounds like something cracked.com would make as a parody of a date. Jeeze! Sounds like she was either nuts, or wanted to make you think she was nuts. I thought I had it bad because my last date was with a guy who was some big deal at a cell phone company, and spent the entire date talking about how the iPhone is superior, while messing around on it at the table, and then criticizing me for being a vegetarian, and letting me know that the dish I ordered probably had way more calories than the chicken salad and pulled up the app to count all the calories in my meal. Then brought up really scientific topics that were a bit over my head and smiled at me when I was confused, and said "well you have pretty hair". What?! Then smirked at me when I told him what my major is and said "that's cute". Rude. Some dates just suck. Haha. That's life! I have some of the worst luck with women I have actually never really had a good date in my life. Then again I'm a twenty year old virgin who has never had a girlfriend and haven't had really any physical contact with women besides a hug I got a few years ago and no friends so I suspect I may just be socially retarded, so I probably should just give up and embrace my loneliness like a boss.
sweetsmmr91 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Giving up at 20 seems silly! I'm 20, and my serious relationships have all been pretty awful, and ended awfully. My last boyfriend broke up with me via facebook relationship status change! Haha. You just have to live and learn. I've had a ton of bad dates, in addition to awful relationships. And since I'm so young I'm sure I'll have a ton more. But at 20 we're just kind of at the "this is going to be a good story someday" point!
Woggle Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 This reminds me of the time I ended up on a date with a neo nazi.
LexiB Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Sounds like you had a good date and worrying too much. Which reminds me the last date I went on went like this. 1. We plan to go to restaurant, I pick her up at her home she is 40 minutes late (for me this is okay gives me time to calm down) when she finally comes out she is dressed very casual and I'm dressed in between casual and formal so I felt kinda silly for dressing up. 2. We talk about our studies and favorite comics and games on our way to the restaurant, she also compliments me on the cleanliness of my car which I thought was nice. 3. We arrive at the restaurant and everything is normal for some reason she decides to strike up an uncomfortable conversation about her man on man gay sex fantasies and keeps asking me repeatedly if I'm into that sort of thing I tell her no and that I don't really want to talk about stuff like that and she keeps going on and on speaking loud enough that the other patrons started turning their heads toward our table. 4. Eventually I managed to switch the conversation to favorite books and she starts talking about how she loves to read rape stories and yells the word rape for no reason during the date and goes on and on about the "fascinating" topic of rape, and she was incapable of whispering so people started to stare. 5. We managed to get off the topic of rape and somehow into history and she was arguing that America should have allied with Nazi Germany and supported them and their efforts, then she started talking about psychology and the world trade center disaster and how she thought it was wierd that anyone would care that a few thousand strangers died and how wierd it is for someone to show empathy for others. 6. I paid for our meals and on our way back (I wanted to leave her at the restaurant but that would be mean especially when its raining outside) the topic somehow switched to religion and she decided to spend the rest of the time bashing my church. I noticed throughout the date she seemed to be enjoying herself but afterwards she never wanted to speak with me again, which was alright since after that experience I really do not want to go on a second date, that was annoying and embarassing, and I highly suspect she acted that way on purpose just to make the date annoying. I've never had a good date. :lmao: Are you sure you weren't a contestant on Disaster Date? That, or this girl was on a dare, for sure...
dreamingoftigers Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 So, we have PD's Rules of Dating (far from comprehensive I'm sure): 1.) Don't mention your Master's degree if you have one! 2.) Talk for four times for one hour each, with pre-set subjects for each call, on the phone before meeting. If you want to get off the phone within 15 minutes, you're just plain rude, even though you've never met the guy. 3.) It seems like he requires several weeks between dates. I'm not sure the exact period, but from a date last weekend there's NO WAY he'd make a date next weekend. 4.) Text back immediately. With what he wants to hear. Phrased the way he wants to hear it. 5.) Don't be too pretty or go out with your friends on Friday or Saturday nights, or you're under suspicion. 6.) Don't be friendly or courteous if you don't plan on a 2nd date. 7.) Never call him, even for a first meet, on the day you might want to meet up with him. He'd rather organize his house and he's offended. 8.) Make sure you text to let him know you'll be there, even if he hasn't texted you yet, even if you've already agreed to a time and place. Basically, PD, you sound exhausting! Basically 3 words: READ HIS MIND.
Necris Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 :lmao: Are you sure you weren't a contestant on Disaster Date? That, or this girl was on a dare, for sure... It would be hilarious if camera people all of a sudden came out and said this was all a joke. Unfortunately I'm just really that bad with women (when I asked her out she didn't seem like that type of person at the time but I'm just probably really bad at reading people) why would she act like that is unknown however, it is possible the only reason she went out with me was for a dare or she wanted to punish me for asking her out by acting insane or something. @sweetsmmr91 Im a 20 year old shy, virgin, nice guy, nerd, who isn't super attractive and who has never had a girlfriend, the closest contact I had with a woman was a hug by a girl who liked me when I was 14 (at the time I didn't know what she was doing hugs and physical contact seem wierd just touching a girl's hand is super awkward), I have no friends (I can't connect to or understand people), and suspect myself of being socially retarded I really don't think my situation is getting much better any time soon.
dreamingoftigers Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 ...and after forty days and forty nights, PhillyDude came from out of his house, and he said unto the women, I will give thee commandments which I have written; that thou mayest teach them. OMG, this is one of the most hilarious posts on LS! :lmao::laugh: 1
Author PhillyDude Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 Her not calling me back has really got me in a funk. I haven't even been job searching just sitting in my room looking out of the window listening to music. What she did was plain wrong. I should be alright by next week. It hurts so much because she is my exact type.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Why would I care about her getting home if I didn't want to see her again? Um … because you were interested in her wellbeing, just on a basic humanitarian level? (I realize this is probably a concept you are not ready to grasp at this stage of your life.) And why would you think that responding back to a text from a guy you didn't want to see again would be a good idea? Because we have been taught good manners and common courtesy since childhood? (Again, likely to be an alien idea for you, right?)
sweetsmmr91 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Aw, well Philly just stop thinking about it..! I know how it goes, I don't like when guys just don't speak to me again after the first date because I constantly have to wonder if it's because they didn't think I was pretty, or they thought I was annoying. Or not funny enough. It's not a good feeling.. but you know, it happens. I think you would have been upset whether she texted you back after the bus or not though, just because you enjoyed her company and she seemed like someone you'd like to be with. There will be others!
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 But you've got to be trolling … right? Please say I'm right … I'm very concerned.
RedRobin Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Do you think most woman are less likely to reject a man face to face who is 6'5 and 265? First, I'll have to understand what you mean by 'reject'. Second, most people have a hard time telling a person point-blank face-to-face that they aren't interested, no matter their stature. The other advice to request a second date on the spot is a good one..just for that reason alone. You can read their face and body language. You can see if she looks excited about it. You can even, hopefully, line up the day and time. Talk about efficient!
Author PhillyDude Posted March 21, 2012 Author Posted March 21, 2012 Um … because you were interested in her wellbeing, just on a basic humanitarian level? (I realize this is probably a concept you are not ready to grasp at this stage of your life.) Because we have been taught good manners and common courtesy since childhood? (Again, likely to be an alien idea for you, right?) Common Courtesy my A$$
Author PhillyDude Posted March 21, 2012 Author Posted March 21, 2012 Aw, well Philly just stop thinking about it..! I know how it goes, I don't like when guys just don't speak to me again after the first date because I constantly have to wonder if it's because they didn't think I was pretty, or they thought I was annoying. Or not funny enough. It's not a good feeling.. but you know, it happens. I think you would have been upset whether she texted you back after the bus or not though, just because you enjoyed her company and she seemed like someone you'd like to be with. There will be others! About to go to across the street to the bar and get some drinks.
RedRobin Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Her not calling me back has really got me in a funk. I haven't even been job searching just sitting in my room looking out of the window listening to music. What she did was plain wrong. I should be alright by next week. It hurts so much because she is my exact type. I'm sorry. You've learned alot from this experience though, right? Shall we do a little post-mortem, you and I? - ask for second date during the first date - Call instead of text or email. - When you call, don't leave it open ended. If you like how things are going, try to arrange for a date right then and there. It'll be better next time. You had a fun date. Sounds like a good start to more fun dates in the future... albeit not this one.
RedRobin Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Common Courtesy my A$$ It's actually not a bad habit to get into. For no other reason than this person has friends and friends talk. Even if she wasn't that into you, she could still say "he's a nice guy. We didn't hit it off, but maybe you two will." If she happens to come across someone you want to date later, that is. Networking buddy. Networking.
Author PhillyDude Posted March 21, 2012 Author Posted March 21, 2012 I'm sorry. You've learned alot from this experience though, right? Shall we do a little post-mortem, you and I? - ask for second date during the first date - Call instead of text or email. - When you call, don't leave it open ended. If you like how things are going, try to arrange for a date right then and there. It'll be better next time. You had a fun date. Sounds like a good start to more fun dates in the future... albeit not this one. The problem is finding someone as attractive as her, don't know how long that will take.
Author PhillyDude Posted March 21, 2012 Author Posted March 21, 2012 It's actually not a bad habit to get into. For no other reason than this person has friends and friends talk. Even if she wasn't that into you, she could still say "he's a nice guy. We didn't hit it off, but maybe you two will." If she happens to come across someone you want to date later, that is. Networking buddy. Networking. You can't network if the person doesn't call in order to be platonic friends. She doesn't even know I'm open to platonic friends because she hasn't called
sweetsmmr91 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 The problem is finding someone as attractive as her, don't know how long that will take. You seem to be so focused on looks! I mean, I know attraction is important, but now that you've went on a date with a girl who is a B+ are you never going to settle for a C? I'm just curious.
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