Author PhillyDude Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 That's not to say that PhillyDude didn't play it poorly. --If the date went so well, why didn't you schedule a second date right then and there? --The girl showed all that interest, I would have tried her Sunday morning. Actually I have never done that but maybe I need to start. I had a opportunity when we were on the bus and rode pass a park and she said..."That's my favorite park" So I can have suggested a date that included us going to that park. So from now on I will let a female know before the date is over I;m interested and talk about a 2nd date. No more coming home waiting for a text and a phone call and all that other bull ****.
RedRobin Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 That's not to say that PhillyDude didn't play it poorly. --If the date went so well, why didn't you schedule a second date right then and there? --The girl showed all that interest, I would have tried her Sunday morning. Now that you mention it... yep. He should have asked for a second date right on the spot. When I go out with a man, and he doesn't try to set up a second date or at least talk about when a second date might be on the spot, I figure his interest was just so-so. I wouldn't necessarily rule him out, but I wouldn't necessarily think he was interested either. Yep. Good observation. Regarding texting... I think that really needs to go by the wayside. I've tried it myself and had it backfire big time.
RedRobin Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 So I can have suggested a date that included us going to that park. So from now on I will let a female know before the date is over I;m interested and talk about a 2nd date. No more coming home waiting for a text and a phone call and all that other bull ****. Sound like a great idea!!
Author PhillyDude Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 I also remember saying during the date that a woman will know how I feel before the night is over and she won't have to wonder after the date. So I'm just guessing that while we were on the bus and rode past that park, that she mentioned the park as a way for me to set up another date but who knows.
Imajerk17 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 All is not lost. You can try her later in the week--phone call. Mention the park. I mean, it's a long shot but what do you have to lose?
Author PhillyDude Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 All is not lost. You can try her later in the week--phone call. Mention the park. I mean, it's a long shot but what do you have to lose? Yeah maybe since it will be warm again and include the park as an idea for a date with dinner nearby
sweetsmmr91 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Well yikes! I'm new to this site, and I'm reading this and feeling kind of guilty. I didn't know that if I wasn't interested in a guy after a date I should just absolutely not respond to any of his texts, and terminate all communication with him forever.. especially if he asked me to let him know I got home safely. I tend to think men are genuinely concerned about my safety, so I wouldn't want to let the guy worry even if I wasn't interested. And if a guy texts me saying he had a nice time, I'd feel really bad if I didn't respond saying "aw well that's sweet" or "thanks me too!" I think I'm probably more like this woman you went on a date with. I know that sometimes immediately after a date I'm debating on if I'm interested at all, and stewing over the night and whether I'd want another night out with him. So why would I not respond to his texts? It's not as simple for some of us to just dismiss someone immediately like it seems to be for you.. And all of her signs of interest sound like just normal things people do... really. Maybe she's overly friendly- that's how I am. It can be both a good and a bad thing. Anyways, there are plenty of other women out there who would be interested.. I would not call and suggest another date. If she's interested she'd show it by finding a way to get ahold of you. Women are persistent when we find something we want!
Author PhillyDude Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 Well yikes! I'm new to this site, and I'm reading this and feeling kind of guilty. I didn't know that if I wasn't interested in a guy after a date I should just absolutely not respond to any of his texts, and terminate all communication with him forever.. especially if he asked me to let him know I got home safely. I tend to think men are genuinely concerned about my safety, so I wouldn't want to let the guy worry even if I wasn't interested. And if a guy texts me saying he had a nice time, I'd feel really bad if I didn't respond saying "aw well that's sweet" or "thanks me too!" I think I'm probably more like this woman you went on a date with. I know that sometimes immediately after a date I'm debating on if I'm interested at all, and stewing over the night and whether I'd want another night out with him. So why would I not respond to his texts? It's not as simple for some of us to just dismiss someone immediately like it seems to be for you.. And all of her signs of interest sound like just normal things people do... really. Maybe she's overly friendly- that's how I am. It can be both a good and a bad thing. Anyways, there are plenty of other women out there who would be interested.. I would not call and suggest another date. If she's interested she'd show it by finding a way to get ahold of you. Women are persistent when we find something we want! Why would I care about her getting home if I didn't want to see her again? And why would you think that responding back to a text from a guy you didn't want to see again would be a good idea?
zengirl Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 So, we have PD's Rules of Dating (far from comprehensive I'm sure): 1.) Don't mention your Master's degree if you have one! 2.) Talk for four times for one hour each, with pre-set subjects for each call, on the phone before meeting. If you want to get off the phone within 15 minutes, you're just plain rude, even though you've never met the guy. 3.) It seems like he requires several weeks between dates. I'm not sure the exact period, but from a date last weekend there's NO WAY he'd make a date next weekend. 4.) Text back immediately. With what he wants to hear. Phrased the way he wants to hear it. 5.) Don't be too pretty or go out with your friends on Friday or Saturday nights, or you're under suspicion. 6.) Don't be friendly or courteous if you don't plan on a 2nd date. 7.) Never call him, even for a first meet, on the day you might want to meet up with him. He'd rather organize his house and he's offended. 8.) Make sure you text to let him know you'll be there, even if he hasn't texted you yet, even if you've already agreed to a time and place. Basically, PD, you sound exhausting! 2
zengirl Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Why would I care about her getting home if I didn't want to see her again? Common courtesy. And why would you think that responding back to a text from a guy you didn't want to see again would be a good idea? Common courtesy.
RovingReporter Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 So, we have PD's Rules of Dating (far from comprehensive I'm sure): 1.) Don't mention your Master's degree if you have one! 2.) Talk for four times for one hour each, with pre-set subjects for each call, on the phone before meeting. If you want to get off the phone within 15 minutes, you're just plain rude, even though you've never met the guy. 3.) It seems like he requires several weeks between dates. I'm not sure the exact period, but from a date last weekend there's NO WAY he'd make a date next weekend. 4.) Text back immediately. With what he wants to hear. Phrased the way he wants to hear it. 5.) Don't be too pretty or go out with your friends on Friday or Saturday nights, or you're under suspicion. 6.) Don't be friendly or courteous if you don't plan on a 2nd date. 7.) Never call him, even for a first meet, on the day you might want to meet up with him. He'd rather organize his house and he's offended. 8.) Make sure you text to let him know you'll be there, even if he hasn't texted you yet, even if you've already agreed to a time and place. Basically, PD, you sound exhausting! You forgot one. Under no circumstances are you to inquire about pds job status 3
serial muse Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 You forgot one. Under no circumstances are you to inquire about pds job status And also: "Don't introduce serious topics when PD only wants to talk about light topics, or you are oatmeal-headed."
sweetsmmr91 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Why would a guy try to call a woman who hasn't responded to his text or call? And why would a person in general not want to know someone has gotten home safe? It's all about perspective. I guess I have a more positive outlook on people and think that even if I don't want to date the guy or hang out with him again, I wouldn't feel right just ignoring him. And I assume even if someone never wants to see me again and isn't at all interested.. they still don't want me to get raped and die on the streets so I better let them know I got home safe! I'll take this into account next time though! But I still like my common courtesy way more than your abrupt cut off all ties because they weren't a B+ technique.
Author PhillyDude Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 Common courtesy. Common courtesy. Well I do plan to ask her if I can pay one of her bills to make out with me.
Author PhillyDude Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 Why would a guy try to call a woman who hasn't responded to his text or call? And why would a person in general not want to know someone has gotten home safe? It's all about perspective. I guess I have a more positive outlook on people and think that even if I don't want to date the guy or hang out with him again, I wouldn't feel right just ignoring him. And I assume even if someone never wants to see me again and isn't at all interested.. they still don't want me to get raped and die on the streets so I better let them know I got home safe! I'll take this into account next time though! But I still like my common courtesy way more than your abrupt cut off all ties because they weren't a B+ technique. Again, someone who has no interest in developing no type of relationship with me whether it's platonic or romantic, I;m supposed to care about her getting home? What if I told her I would wait with her until the bus comes and she says "No you don't have to" Should I still care if she gets home? I don't care about STRANGERS ok? She is nothing but a stranger who i will never have any type of relationship with so I can care less about her once we part ways.
sid3 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Why would I care about her getting home if I didn't want to see her again? Really? You've got to be kidding.
sweetsmmr91 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Yikes. I guess you kind of trapped her by telling her to let you know she got home safe then. Because maybe she's like me and thinks people are decent human beings and want to know that the nice-enough person they just spent an evening with got home safe... so she felt obligated to text you and let you know she wasn't dead. That's honestly my thought process. Maybe you can make it clear to your dates from now on that unless they're interested in you you really don't care if they get home safe. 2
zengirl Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 You forgot one. Under no circumstances are you to inquire about pds job status And also: "Don't introduce serious topics when PD only wants to talk about light topics, or you are oatmeal-headed." Good additions to the list! Revised list: So, we have PD's Rules of Dating (far from comprehensive I'm sure): 1.) Don't mention your Master's degree if you have one! 2.) Talk for four times for one hour each, with pre-set subjects for each call, on the phone before meeting. If you want to get off the phone within 15 minutes, you're just plain rude, even though you've never met the guy. 3.) It seems like he requires several weeks between dates. I'm not sure the exact period, but from a date last weekend there's NO WAY he'd make a date next weekend. 4.) Text back immediately. With what he wants to hear. Phrased the way he wants to hear it. 5.) Don't be too pretty or go out with your friends on Friday or Saturday nights, or you're under suspicion. 6.) Don't be friendly or courteous if you don't plan on a 2nd date. 7.) Never call him, even for a first meet, on the day you might want to meet up with him. He'd rather organize his house and he's offended. 8.) Make sure you text to let him know you'll be there, even if he hasn't texted you yet, even if you've already agreed to a time and place. 9.) Don't introduce serious topics when PD only wants to talk about light topics, or you are oatmeal-headed. 10.) You forgot one. Under no circumstances are you to inquire about pds job status 3
serial muse Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Good additions to the list! Revised list: So, we have PD's Rules of Dating (far from comprehensive I'm sure): 1.) Don't mention your Master's degree if you have one! 2.) Talk for four times for one hour each, with pre-set subjects for each call, on the phone before meeting. If you want to get off the phone within 15 minutes, you're just plain rude, even though you've never met the guy. 3.) It seems like he requires several weeks between dates. I'm not sure the exact period, but from a date last weekend there's NO WAY he'd make a date next weekend. 4.) Text back immediately. With what he wants to hear. Phrased the way he wants to hear it. 5.) Don't be too pretty or go out with your friends on Friday or Saturday nights, or you're under suspicion. 6.) Don't be friendly or courteous if you don't plan on a 2nd date. 7.) Never call him, even for a first meet, on the day you might want to meet up with him. He'd rather organize his house and he's offended. 8.) Make sure you text to let him know you'll be there, even if he hasn't texted you yet, even if you've already agreed to a time and place. 9.) Don't introduce serious topics when PD only wants to talk about light topics, or you are oatmeal-headed. 10.) You forgot one. Under no circumstances are you to inquire about pds job status ...and after forty days and forty nights, PhillyDude came from out of his house, and he said unto the women, I will give thee commandments which I have written; that thou mayest teach them. 9
Author PhillyDude Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 Yikes. I guess you kind of trapped her by telling her to let you know she got home safe then. Because maybe she's like me and thinks people are decent human beings and want to know that the nice-enough person they just spent an evening with got home safe... so she felt obligated to text you and let you know she wasn't dead. That's honestly my thought process. Maybe you can make it clear to your dates from now on that unless they're interested in you you really don't care if they get home safe. In her profile she says she is criticized for being brutally honest but has yet to contact me and let me know where I stand. So I guess in order to get the truth I have to tell her I welcome her honesty. But it's still strange because she states she is looking for long distance penpals, friends and relationship.
zengirl Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 In her profile she says she is criticized for being brutally honest but has yet to contact me and let me know where I stand. So I guess in order to get the truth I have to tell her I welcome her honesty. But it's still strange because she states she is looking for long distance penpals, friends and relationship. FWIW, it really is common courtesy to return phone calls, at least to say "Not interested," so I do think she should do that. But. . . doesn't that violate one of your rules in that she shouldn't text you if she's not interested?
Author PhillyDude Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 FWIW, it really is common courtesy to return phone calls, at least to say "Not interested," so I do think she should do that. But. . . doesn't that violate one of your rules in that she shouldn't text you if she's not interested? Yes I prefer not to be contacted at all if someone is not interested. If she had not responded to me at all since I got off the bus, I would have never called last night.
sweetsmmr91 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Hmm, oh well. What's done is done! I think after one date she didn't think it was necessary. She may have made a mistake by being courteous to you after the first date, since you're not interested in courtesy so much as her self-proclaimed "brutal honesty". But I guess she also probably thought she got the point across the next few days by ignoring your call and text. She did what you did to those other girls, a day too late for your preferences.. but everyone's dating style is different! Wait, why is the long distance penpals, friends and relationship weird?
Author PhillyDude Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 Hmm, oh well. What's done is done! I think after one date she didn't think it was necessary. She may have made a mistake by being courteous to you after the first date, since you're not interested in courtesy so much as her self-proclaimed "brutal honesty". But I guess she also probably thought she got the point across the next few days by ignoring your call and text. She did what you did to those other girls, a day too late for your preferences.. but everyone's dating style is different! Wait, why is the long distance penpals, friends and relationship weird? Since we spent so much time together and had a good time, I atleast thought I would be good enough to be a platonic friend. I don't mind having a pretty female as an attractive friend so I can learn more about dating.
LexiB Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Good additions to the list! Revised list: So, we have PD's Rules of Dating (far from comprehensive I'm sure): 1.) Don't mention your Master's degree if you have one! 2.) Talk for four times for one hour each, with pre-set subjects for each call, on the phone before meeting. If you want to get off the phone within 15 minutes, you're just plain rude, even though you've never met the guy. 3.) It seems like he requires several weeks between dates. I'm not sure the exact period, but from a date last weekend there's NO WAY he'd make a date next weekend. 4.) Text back immediately. With what he wants to hear. Phrased the way he wants to hear it. 5.) Don't be too pretty or go out with your friends on Friday or Saturday nights, or you're under suspicion. 6.) Don't be friendly or courteous if you don't plan on a 2nd date. 7.) Never call him, even for a first meet, on the day you might want to meet up with him. He'd rather organize his house and he's offended. 8.) Make sure you text to let him know you'll be there, even if he hasn't texted you yet, even if you've already agreed to a time and place. 9.) Don't introduce serious topics when PD only wants to talk about light topics, or you are oatmeal-headed. 10.) You forgot one. Under no circumstances are you to inquire about pds job status What's sad is that these really are all his own words. Phillydude, surely you can see how insane you[r dating practices] are, no?
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