JamesMay Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 I need some advice on this situation. I am currently working abroad. For a couple of months I have been working quite hard and hanging out with some fellow trainees from different companies and countries. I met this English girl who is working here for two months. We met one of the first nights she was out and it was an immediate hit. I felt a lot of chemistry and this doesn’t happen very often with me as I have been an active single after a very rough breakup for over two years now. A part from the fact that we come from the same country and background, we also share the same interests, sense of humor and get into lively discussions about pretty much everything. So it all seemed to be going quite well. After a couple of nights she invited me for a dinner with a bunch of her local friends, we went out together until the morning. Seemingly by accident she mentioned her boyfriend but immediately changed subject as if she got caught and didn’t feel comfortable talking about him. I remember I was quite disappointed that night, even though I had –again- enjoyed her company a lot. She again invited me, now on a daytrip to some park… I thought it was a date request and asked her a week later if she was still up but then it turned kind of vague as she eventually asked a local friend of hers to join us. The trip went smoothly; the three of us talked for hours but when it was just us for a while two there was a lot of tension. I didn’t see her for a couple of weeks as I had been working very hard, I was out of office for a while and I didn’t contact her at all until I got back. When I did she asked me to join her out again for dinner the same nights with her local friends and another trip in the weekend. She also asked me to order tickets for a gig I had mentioned in one of our earlier conversations which happened to play on her last night in town. Coming back from the trip this Saturday I felt a bit uncomfortable. She seemed to be mentioning her boyfriend more often, talking to the bunch about what they would do when she got back as if she was telling me to back off. I turned away my attention when she did because I don’t want to hear about him and her. I don’t really know what to do or think at the moment. People are definitely picking up on our ‘thing’ (like raising eyebrows when she is touching me, which she does more and more often or telling me she is ‘the full package’ and ‘a pity she has a boyfriend’). She is, truly, the most amazing girl I have ever had the chance to hang out with (and I have had some decent female friends/girlfriends). I am really attracted to her and I think about her at least daily. On the other hand: she is leaving in 3 weeks and she has a boyfriend which for me has always been a big no no. She also told me she has talked to him about me and about EVERYTHING (with that same emphasis) and that he doesn’t like me. But then later that night when it was just us two she invited me over for dinner before the musical. 90% of the girls I would have said she’s clearly an AW but not this one. She has drawn some attention from other guys I know and apparently straight away told them she has a boyfriend. I am definitely interested in a major way but stuck in a dilemma. If I make a move on her I might lose her as a friend or potential girlfriend and I would feel like a douche towards her boyfriend. If I don’t I would feel very bad as I won’t see her again for a long time with a lot of distance between us and maybe will never get the opportunity to tell her how I feel. Any experiences to be shared here? Any advice?
Professor X Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 Any experiences to be shared here? Any advice? Walk away.
Author JamesMay Posted March 19, 2012 Author Posted March 19, 2012 Walk away. It's what I was thinking. I'm not sure if she is trying to push me to make a move or telling me to back off.
Professor X Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 It's what I was thinking. I'm not sure if she is trying to push me to make a move or telling me to back off. Dude, walk. She wouldn't tell you she told her BF all about you if she was hoping you'd swap her off her feet. She's either being a tease, or you're just overthinking to much.
Mantis Toboggan Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 Dude, walk. She wouldn't tell you she told her BF all about you if she was hoping you'd swap her off her feet. She's either being a tease, or you're just overthinking to much. Exactly. If you have to think this much (and write this much) about a girl you haven't even kissed, you're WAAAAY too invested. And while you're confused, and mixed up, and over-invested, she's going home and sleeping with her boyfriend. Look at it this way - She's one of literally billions of women who you've never had a relationship with. Go date one of the others.
jnj express Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 She's leaving, she's got a BF---why are you wasting your time?????
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