JTMCMG Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 Hello everyone, I apologize in advance for the novel, but I need to get it out. This situation is a first for me and I need some input from people who have experienced it or something similar. I'll start off by saying, my girlfriend and I have been dating since last summer. I'm 22 and she's 19 turning 20 this week. Were both students. Me being at the local community college and her being at a bigger local university. So many people alike me have been in countless relationships and just realized things weren't gonna work, and then they go and find that person that they don't want to let go (ie my friends are starting to settle down, my besty is getting married when he gets home from his tour in Afghanistan). I'm slowly finding that I want that special person. And the feeling is mutual. That's where I stand. I've had my share of relationships that were all dead ends. Not this one. She's different from all of my past ex's, our chemistry is nearly perfect. We hardly ever argue, rather we do what you should do and have a civilized talk about it and get through it. Our interests are very similar and we have pretty much the same goals. I can say that the 7 months we've been together have been a million times better than the last 2.5 year relationship and other little ones I've had. I can't say that I've never been more happy. Now my problem. She got an internship this semester, which I support her 100%. It's at a school 3 hours away so it's turned into a long distance relationship now. Back in January we talked about how we were gonna have this work out, and at the time it seemed totally manageable, being that my last relationship was the same thing so I'm used to it. But closer to Valentine's day, we started having problems, but were neither of our faults. Our networks wouldn't send data to each other where she was (this is ultimately what ruined this) so she couldn't receive texts from me nor could I her. When she came home that weekend before Valentine's day, it was awesome. We got even closer to each other. We got more comfortable with sharing our feelings aloud (I wrote her a story of how we met with characters similar to us and added 100 things I love about her). Those were the greatest tears I've ever seen, and we both said the whole 'I love you' that weekend. So it was a HUGE step in our relationship. But, we also talked about our situation when she's away, like taking it day by day and such. She left and we took it day by day. The last 3 weeks have been the most unhappy 3 weeks of my life. She got so busy with school, writing papers, attending meetings, internship, and having somewhat, if any, a social life. On my end, I'm unemployed currently and have 1 class, so I started losing my mind being in my house all day every day. We talked maybe 3 times over the phone and once on Facebook. It was a great pressure on both of our shoulders, but again neither of our faults. We knew it would test us. So I told her I was extremely upset on FB and to call me asap. She did the next day and told me how she's always busy and it's taking a toll on her to have 2 lives, school and here. So it was her Spring Break this past week, and she was totally busy still here at home, so I didn't really hear from her. So I finally lost it and got frustrated with it and totally said somethings I didn't mean. And so finally after this whole week she finally had time for me hours before she would return to school. I went to her house, we talked about random things and it was a little awkward since we really haven't spoken much. Then after a little we got into our real talk. I apologized for my behavior, and at that point she said it didn't matter and she understood where I was coming from with it (the whole unemployment and being cooped up all day thing). And she went on about how she LOVES it there and it's changed her and she doesn't have to try to fit in and everything and everyone just clicks with her, like it's something she never had before. At this point she's bawling her eyes out, so I know she really does love it there and she's serious. Then she asked if there was any way I thought of to get this pressure off our backs with everything and I had no ideas. So she said we should go on a break, which I agreed with her because it's the only viable solution. And she can't deal with having 2 lives, she pretty much hates it at home. She returns in 7 weeks (first week of May). During most of this part of the talk, I couldn't hold my tears back anymore. She told me her love for me is still the same and pretty much if we still want to pick it up where we left off when she comes back than we will. And she did the whole 'it's only going to be 7 short weeks, we can do this' kinda thing. And I also got one kiss and a couple hugs. Now were on a break officially, it's FB official haha. My intention for this post is to seek advice for what I do now. I love her, I definitely don't want to give her up for good, I don't want to be the same as every other guy she's been with by walking away, and I will be waiting here for her when she comes home, because it's going to go back to like it was last semester and be awesome between us again (given that she doesn't change her mind, but I don't see that happening being there's no time for a relationship while she's down there anyway and she gave me the signs before I left (kiss and hug)). All I need advice for is do I talk to her in 6-7 weeks? Do I message her once a week? Do I wait for her to contact me? Should I totally wait until the day she comes home and surprise her with some roses or something? I don't want to wait the whole time to talk to her because I feel like she'll think I lost interest or she might lose interest in me or whatever. Any input will help, please and thank you!!!
jerbear Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 Don't talk to her again. It is a break. Plus finish college and then figure it out. It is not worth the heart break and time to figure things out while both of you are in college. Relationships and the jive between people in relationships should be easy and smooth. No breaks, high drama, or being busy. Don't send her flowers, but okay to contact her after the semester ends. After the semester ends, you'll get your answer.
Ghisop Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Do not contact her! Not once. She need an opportunity to miss you. She doesn't seem to be worried about things- so you need to fake it till you make it and act like you are fine. No sad faebook posts - nothing. Try to enjoy school like she is. Breaks are never good - especially in long distance. What could you need a break from... You barely see each other. I know it sounds harsh but it is the truth
Author JTMCMG Posted March 21, 2012 Author Posted March 21, 2012 Well, that does make me feel better when I think about how much she will miss me over the next month so thanks for that. The last thing I'm going to say is happy birthday on Thursday. I have a job interview tomorrow and potentially a second one this week, so I can be busy and not think about it. I just hope that this next month flies by because it's already moving extremely slow, and I feel sick when I think about it.
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