BewitchedandBothered Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 I know that pictures don't tell the whole story, but the latest pictures got me down. I had a hunch he and the new one were together on St. Patty's day...They went to a beautiful park and 40ish pics were posted. He took lots of pics of her--he used to take lots of me back in the day--but he never, ever posted them; but he posts hers:(...There are few of them together with his arm around her. A consolation is that he looks unhealthy; gained a ton of weight and skin is very pale. But...while I bask in my yowch-state over this nonsense, he's living it up. I have days where I have a nice time with friends, or reading a good book, etc, but today is not one of those days. C'mon, Loveshack pals, help pull me through this one. Rootless? Throw this gal a lifeline...Anyone? Hellllllp! Going to take a shower and wash the willies off. I hate this feeling, I really do...Sigh...
CopingGal Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 Hi. I'm so sorry that you don't feel so good today. It's so hard when partners we love treat up like crap and then go on to someone else. My ex kept me hidden from facebook too, as you know. Now he talks about his new gf on it. I've been so angry and feeling like crap. But you know what, he is irrelevant to me. Like your ex is irrelevant to you. My ex does not have a good life. He is sick is every way. Sounds like you ex is that too. We have to maintain focus on our own lives. These bastards are irrelevant to our lives. We have lives to live without them and we need to make it good lives. 1
Exit Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 I deleted Facebook months ago. Actually made it past the 14 day period where you can still reactivate your account. And never looked back. Life is nice without Facebook, and people who want to stay in touch with you will do so without some stupid website. 1
smudge21 Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 Looking at an ex's Facebook is like calling round to their house and looking through the window. You're never going to get the full story, but you will always get hurt. The only time you should ever look at an ex is the day you no longer care to. There's sadly no easy fix for the way you're feeling other than try that two week method - where you don't look at anything about them for two weeks. By that time, you're usually back to where you were and feeling a bit better. It's all a question of lasting the full two weeks. 1
Author BewitchedandBothered Posted March 19, 2012 Author Posted March 19, 2012 Just feeling used all over again, I guess; not worthy of showing off like this one is. Not feeling 100% today...Not feeling good at all...
smudge21 Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 Scrap the day and call it off. No point in making an effort now. Go treat yourself to something, whether it be clothes, a film, a large tub of Ben and Jerries, whatever, just aslong as its something you want but don't need. You can feel better tomorrow, today, just do something for you.
NoneoftheAbove Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 Just feeling used all over again, I guess; not worthy of showing off like this one is. Not feeling 100% today...Not feeling good at all... You ll make it through. Try not to think about it. I know its hard but you have to do it.
Philosoraptor Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 You're causing your own pain. Why did you look? Why spend so much time worried about someone else's life when we are neglecting our own growth? 1
KathyM Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 Don't keep checking his FB page. No good can come from it. I know you're curious, but it only adds to the hurt to see what a past ex is doing.
youngster Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 *le sigh* reading this post makes me reflect and admit that I am guilty of cyber stalking the ex. I agree that nothing good can come of it, and you don't get the whole story. Still though, i dont stop and really want to know what shes up to. Its pathetic, but dont feel as far away, when i make my own breadcrumbs. It has really made me develop some ugly habits and I am kind of hating myself for it. I know this is unhealthy, because she is out there living her life and I am dwelling on the past. Major suckage
Author BewitchedandBothered Posted March 19, 2012 Author Posted March 19, 2012 You're causing your own pain. Why did you look? Why spend so much time worried about someone else's life when we are neglecting our own growth? A mutual acquaintance was tagged in all the pics. I blocked that acquaintance after seeing the pics for my own peace of mind. But...I couldn't help but look; they were right there in the newsfeed. it's mostly pride and ego being hit. I wouldn't want to go back with him after all he put me through, but....seeing him having a good tim with this new one....I don't know. It's the apex of suckitude.
stillafool Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 I know that pictures don't tell the whole story, but the latest pictures got me down. I had a hunch he and the new one were together on St. Patty's day...They went to a beautiful park and 40ish pics were posted. He took lots of pics of her--he used to take lots of me back in the day--but he never, ever posted them; but he posts hers:(...There are few of them together with his arm around her. A consolation is that he looks unhealthy; gained a ton of weight and skin is very pale. But...while I bask in my yowch-state over this nonsense, he's living it up. I have days where I have a nice time with friends, or reading a good book, etc, but today is not one of those days. C'mon, Loveshack pals, help pull me through this one. Rootless? Throw this gal a lifeline...Anyone? Hellllllp! Going to take a shower and wash the willies off. I hate this feeling, I really do...Sigh... Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Stop the spying, it's extremely unhealthy.
Author BewitchedandBothered Posted March 19, 2012 Author Posted March 19, 2012 Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Stop the spying, it's extremely unhealthy. I wasn't looking for it, I came across it.
Author BewitchedandBothered Posted March 19, 2012 Author Posted March 19, 2012 Hi. I'm so sorry that you don't feel so good today. It's so hard when partners we love treat up like crap and then go on to someone else. My ex kept me hidden from facebook too, as you know. Now he talks about his new gf on it. I've been so angry and feeling like crap. But you know what, he is irrelevant to me. Like your ex is irrelevant to you. My ex does not have a good life. He is sick is every way. Sounds like you ex is that too. We have to maintain focus on our own lives. These bastards are irrelevant to our lives. We have lives to live without them and we need to make it good lives. Yes!! Just like your ex, mine is sick...or maybe he was just sick when he was with me and not sick with this new one. Ugh. I do fine for awhile and then have a day or 2 of a setback. Not intentionally doing this to myself as some suggest.
gotye Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 if I saw that the ex I so am in love with now and he gained weight i would probably feel horrible pity for him, and never want him back we were both huge fitness nuts together and I would know if he let go, he'd be miserable no matter what... that'd be a big move on right now look too 1
CopingGal Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 I use my facebook page for good. It helps. I use it to try to find dogs that need homes, homes and promote charities and good causes. I also use it so people can help find missing women when that info comes my way. It feels good to use facebook like that. 1
Author BewitchedandBothered Posted March 19, 2012 Author Posted March 19, 2012 You're causing your own pain. Why did you look? Why spend so much time worried about someone else's life when we are neglecting our own growth? Hi, Philo!! I was getting to a good place, but then had a setback. I do have mostly good days, but the wound opened a little bit. It's my pride and ego that are bruised. He gets to go and move on after the trail of broken hearts he left and goes to a Bed and Breakfast with the new girl. It hurts; maybe I needed to be privy to that so I can get it in my head that he never cared like he said, and he moves on from woman to woman like a bee moves from flower to flower. Maybe he grew a conscience in the past year and a half? Maybe he grew a heart? I don't know. All I know is that I need some kind of reassurance, something that will tell me I will be okay and that I will move on from this. I made it this far. I was in shock at first and didn't believe it. I would later figure out ways to change myself--maybe if I did that, he wouldn't be so verbally abusive and play mental games. Eventually I got so angry at myself and at him and it all turned to bitterness. This isn't about love/romantic feelings for him; it's about justice not being served. He hurt quite a few of us and gets to walk off with a consolation prize and traipse off to B*B's and be romantic while I take time to heal from his actions. I never contacted him or tried to; he was playing too many mind games and I didn't trust him. He didn't care about me when I became ill, yet he got upset when a friend of his was ill and showed major concern. I was of no use to him after I got sick. I am well now, cancer is gone, but...he kept on walking and wasn't capable of being a friend. Now he's plastered his new interest all over his FB for everyone to see while he made a fool of me. If this is a joke...I don't get it.
mymission Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 You know what I feel like **** right now. But I can't imagine how I'd feel if I saw pics of my ex with a new piece. I'd be devastated. I feel for you. 1
Author BewitchedandBothered Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 You know what I feel like **** right now. But I can't imagine how I'd feel if I saw pics of my ex with a new piece. I'd be devastated. I feel for you. It's mainly my ego and pride. He kept me hidden; didn't intro me to his family and did not want to put pics of us on FB. He is showing her off all over fb and they met each others' families. I would not feel this way if he were decent to me and his other exes. He was abusive and played a ton of creepy mind games. It just seems so damned unfair. From what I hear, they have been together since January and he is posting tons of pictures for all to see; tagging friends and of course her. He wasn't proud to do that for me. Yet when we were together, he said he loved me. When he dumped me he said he would always love me and would never find chemistry with another woman as we had. --the chemistry was all in the first few months; the 'honeymoon' period. feeling less than stellar right now. If you are good, kind and loving, you get **** on. those that do the ****ting get to enjoy time at Bed and Breakfast and have a happy time. Maybe I should start ****ting on people. Then I will get to feel great. Ugh......
CopingGal Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 I deleted Facebook months ago. Actually made it past the 14 day period where you can still reactivate your account. And never looked back. Life is nice without Facebook, and people who want to stay in touch with you will do so without some stupid website. I may deleted in the future. Have to think about it. I like doing humanitarian work via facebook, but if it gets too hard to have the account. I will delete.
CopingGal Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Looking at an ex's Facebook is like calling round to their house and looking through the window. You're never going to get the full story, but you will always get hurt. The only time you should ever look at an ex is the day you no longer care to. There's sadly no easy fix for the way you're feeling other than try that two week method - where you don't look at anything about them for two weeks. By that time, you're usually back to where you were and feeling a bit better. It's all a question of lasting the full two weeks. I like that method. I will mark my calendar.
CopingGal Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Just feeling used all over again, I guess; not worthy of showing off like this one is. Not feeling 100% today...Not feeling good at all... Believe me, I understand. I wasn't good enough to even be mentioned on facebook either, to the point that he presented a trip we went on as if he went alone. But then I think of the words of our former couple's counselor. She told me not to put any value in what he did. He did what he did, but don't attach any meaning to it. My ex is so sick, I don't know if he will make it through another year. I'm so glad I'm out of that relationship. It would be so unpleasant to be in a relationship with a very sick man who was using me and cheating on me one day, and then having me sit by his bedside the next day when he was feeling poorly. That's just sick...and stupid!
Philosoraptor Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Hi, Philo!! I was getting to a good place, but then had a setback. I do have mostly good days, but the wound opened a little bit. It's my pride and ego that are bruised. He gets to go and move on after the trail of broken hearts he left and goes to a Bed and Breakfast with the new girl. It hurts; maybe I needed to be privy to that so I can get it in my head that he never cared like he said, and he moves on from woman to woman like a bee moves from flower to flower. Maybe he grew a conscience in the past year and a half? Maybe he grew a heart? I don't know. All I know is that I need some kind of reassurance, something that will tell me I will be okay and that I will move on from this. I made it this far. I was in shock at first and didn't believe it. I would later figure out ways to change myself--maybe if I did that, he wouldn't be so verbally abusive and play mental games. Eventually I got so angry at myself and at him and it all turned to bitterness. This isn't about love/romantic feelings for him; it's about justice not being served. He hurt quite a few of us and gets to walk off with a consolation prize and traipse off to B*B's and be romantic while I take time to heal from his actions. I never contacted him or tried to; he was playing too many mind games and I didn't trust him. He didn't care about me when I became ill, yet he got upset when a friend of his was ill and showed major concern. I was of no use to him after I got sick. I am well now, cancer is gone, but...he kept on walking and wasn't capable of being a friend. Now he's plastered his new interest all over his FB for everyone to see while he made a fool of me. If this is a joke...I don't get it. He sounds like quite the pitiful person. He abused you and needed to jump quickly in order to avoid his own feelings. You're much better off without that insanity in your life. You're now free to find all of the beauty in this world. Just open your eyes and take it.
volkl1996 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Unfriend him on FB...you are torturing yourself.
Author BewitchedandBothered Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 Unfriend him on FB...you are torturing yourself. He blocked me a year and a half ago as part of a mind game thing. I found out through a mutual acquaintance---it showed up on my newsfeed. I blocked this person so I no longer have to see updates. It hurts, makes me feel like I was nothing and this new one is everything. He was hurtful to me and extremely cruel. This one is on a pedestal. I feel like ****.
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