Author NoneoftheAbove Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 To be honest again, naked pictures while you're in love or relationship is 100% disrespectful to you and makes her look bad. That's a game you don't play around with. I'm sorry but I think she enjoys attention. I feel your pain I really do, my ex left me three days ago never said why and disappeared, I thought I or "we" were worth more than this. I'm broken too. She left me a voice mail.. I dropped her stuff today, she bought me birthday cards, and a scarf she made for me..has my smell all over it. Ripped the cards and put it in the bag..shes like your scarf smells like you, you didnt have to rip the cards crying.
Moonless sky Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 I can promise you are better off. I finally had to let my ex go who did this to me several times. I was going crazy! I asked him a bagillion questions everyday just because I thought it'd make the not trusting situation more comfortable. It didn't. There are different levels or trust and not trusting, this is one that'll drive you crazy. You'll always wonder are they talking to someone else? I will admit I've screwed up and talked to my ex before when I was with this other guy but I dropped my ex instantly for the other guy. I realized after I dropped my ex what my boyfriend really meant to me since I was focused on him (but now he left me for, for who knows why). If she was only focused on you then the relationship would of been stronger.
Moonless sky Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 She can't have those ex's around...does she know that? It's all in actions that matter.
Author NoneoftheAbove Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 I don't really care what couldve been shouldve been anymore...I haven't done anything wrong didnt lie didnt cheat.. Honest and loyal as a German Shepperd. I didn't lose anything she did.. im the best she will ever find. Thank you sky this is helping me a lot right now.
sweetheart5381 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Noneoftheabove, You have to hold your head high even though you feel weak right now, don't let her see that. She seems to be turning this around on you, she wants you to feel bad for walking out. Do you know why she did it? She disrespected you and can't act like this if she wants you. I've caught an ex years ago messing around with his ex on his phone. It broke all trust I had for him, and I can't lie it never stopped with them. She may be different, but she can't play the guilt game very long and needs to show you in actions that she's sorry. But do you really want to forgive her? Can you trust her? Will she now hide her messages from you? It's a game they play and it never ends unless they sincerely love us. I hope I'm wrong but you have to be strong for your own heart and soul. She needs to understand you're not guilty of anything and she is. SCREW her understanding of this, not needed, she disrespected the OP point blank. She made her disrespect clear by posting pics of herself to another man. If she really cares, she would not do this... even if she didnt feel love for him she would not do this out of respect for his feelings for her. Put it this way, if she actually respected his feeling she would have made it clear to him that he was not so important to her to NOT post dirty pics for another man to lust after. She would have told him, "you are a friend with benefits, not a relationship." She clearly did not or the OP would not be here. Forgiveness is reserved for those that deserve it. If they make you feel bad for your feelings rather than accept what they did was wrong, then get rid of them, however hard it is. They don't deserve your love.
Author NoneoftheAbove Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 She can't have those ex's around...does she know that? It's all in actions that matter. Exactly if ex is an ex why do you talk to him? if he texted you those things why didnt you say im in a relationship leave me alone.. but she says she called him and told him to stop. I dont believe her one bit. I dont go around texting my ex's. She says she didnt send him nudes but thats bull sh. I know deep inside she did.
Author NoneoftheAbove Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 SCREW her understanding of this, not needed, she disrespected the OP point blank. She made her disrespect clear by posting pics of herself to another man. If she really cares, she would not do this... even if she didnt feel love for him she would not do this out of respect for his feelings for her. Put it this way, if she actually respected his feeling she would have made it clear to him that he was not so important to her to NOT post dirty pics for another man to lust after. She would have told him, "you are a friend with benefits, not a relationship." She clearly did not or the OP would not be here. Forgiveness is reserved for those that deserve it. If they make you feel bad for your feelings rather than accept what they did was wrong, then get rid of them, however hard it is. They don't deserve your love. Thank you for your reply Sweet.. Im glad you guys are here. Its such a relief to talk and just let it all out.
Moonless sky Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 SCREW her understanding of this, not needed, she disrespected the OP point blank. She made her disrespect clear by posting pics of herself to another man. If she really cares, she would not do this... even if she didnt feel love for him she would not do this out of respect for his feelings for her. Put it this way, if she actually respected his feeling she would have made it clear to him that he was not so important to her to NOT post dirty pics for another man to lust after. She would have told him, "you are a friend with benefits, not a relationship." She clearly did not or the OP would not be here. Forgiveness is reserved for those that deserve it. If they make you feel bad for your feelings rather than accept what they did was wrong, then get rid of them, however hard it is. They don't deserve your love. And I agree with you, exactly.
Moonless sky Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Exactly if ex is an ex why do you talk to him? if he texted you those things why didnt you say im in a relationship leave me alone.. but she says she called him and told him to stop. I dont believe her one bit. I dont go around texting my ex's. She says she didnt send him nudes but thats bull sh. I know deep inside she did. Trust your gut, it is often right as terrible as it can be sometimes.
sweetheart5381 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Thank you for your reply Sweet.. Im glad you guys are here. Its such a relief to talk and just let it all out. Yep it's nice to know that we are all in the same boat so to speak (feels like the Titanic some days!). It gets better! Live and learn. Some lessons have to be learned a few times to really set in
Author NoneoftheAbove Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 These are her text msges.. I ll never smile again. There is no light left in the world. My hearts got a cold dark hole in it where you used to live. I cant get away from your intoxicating smell coming from this dam scarf. its filling my room and my nose. Im drowning in it. The tears wont stop. I ll never stop crying for you i can't stand the thought of you being with someone else. My reply was " i did no wrong to you. I gave you my heart and you stepped on it like it was nothing. I didnt lose nothing you did. I wouldve been there for you until my last breath. but thats just past now. Its a new chapter. hers " i didnt ceat on you i told that guy off this ones funny.. "behind every happy couple there are two people who fought hard to overcome all obstacles and interference to be that way. my reply " if you were happy you wouldnt reply to his texts when hes talking dirty to you. Fck outta here with that bull****. hers "i ll never love again. nothing can ever come close to my love for you. life has lost its meaning. no sun no colour all i smell is you when i close my eyes all i see is your face. youre so special and unique i cant stand thinking of you going in to find somebody else.. youre leaving had no goodbye..i wish there was a way to collect all these tears and drown myself in them....i love you so ****ing much...that picture of our hands makes me cry so hard..i care about you so much..dont cutt me off like this.. im on my knees..i never dreamed id find somebody like you.. i jsut cant get rid of these thoughts....it hurts 1
stimson554 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Consider it a blessing that you found this out now rather than later, she could have strung you along for months, years even. it's better that you know now, she could have broken up with you leaving your head filled with unanswered questions, it would have driven you mad(trust me). being that you found out makes it all the more painless for you to forget about her and move on so you have no unanswered questions. Atleast you know.
sweetheart5381 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Trust your gut, it is often right as terrible as it can be sometimes. Damn right, trust your gut... I learned that after several terribly abusive relationships and I use "the gut" understanding now... when my gut says "ask the question, it needs to be answered" I no longer question that voice, I just listen and ask the question and really listen to the answer. The answers are there... love may be blind and logic may be false but the gut will tell you want you really need to know. Trust it. 1
sweetheart5381 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Consider it a blessing that you found this out now rather than later, she could have strung you along for months, years even. it's better that you know now, she could have broken up with you leaving your head filled with unanswered questions, it would have driven you mad(trust me). being that you found out makes it all the more painless for you to forget about her and move on so you have no unanswered questions. Atleast you know. Yes, being strung along is terrible. My ex did it months til he could not handle the guilt and then hurt me so bad. Made me feel like dirt for caring so much even though he initiated the relationship, and kept wanting me to love him. He dragged it on. Then he ditched me like a whore and I am anything but a whore. He wants to be friends now... **** him. He played the same game as your ex has and wants the game to continue for his own selfish reasons. No respect or consideration for mine. Dont worry one bit about her feelings... she made it clear and forget her, not worth your time.
Moonless sky Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 These are her text msges.. I ll never smile again. There is no light left in the world. My hearts got a cold dark hole in it where you used to live. I cant get away from your intoxicating smell coming from this dam scarf. its filling my room and my nose. Im drowning in it. The tears wont stop. I ll never stop crying for you i can't stand the thought of you being with someone else. My reply was " i did no wrong to you. I gave you my heart and you stepped on it like it was nothing. I didnt lose nothing you did. I wouldve been there for you until my last breath. but thats just past now. Its a new chapter. hers " i didnt ceat on you i told that guy off this ones funny.. "behind every happy couple there are two people who fought hard to overcome all obstacles and interference to be that way. my reply " if you were happy you wouldnt reply to his texts when hes talking dirty to you. Fck outta here with that bull****. hers "i ll never love again. nothing can ever come close to my love for you. life has lost its meaning. no sun no colour all i smell is you when i close my eyes all i see is your face. youre so special and unique i cant stand thinking of you going in to find somebody else.. youre leaving had no goodbye..i wish there was a way to collect all these tears and drown myself in them....i love you so ****ing much...that picture of our hands makes me cry so hard..i care about you so much..dont cutt me off like this.. im on my knees..i never dreamed id find somebody like you.. i jsut cant get rid of these thoughts....it hurts Just do what you feel is right, if she's being sincere I do understand the pain of making a mistake. But it doesn't matter it's how you feel. Don't feel bad, maybe take a few days apart if you can't do a 100% break up right now.
sweetheart5381 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Just do what you feel is right, if she's being sincere I do understand the pain of making a mistake. But it doesn't matter it's how you feel. Don't feel bad, maybe take a few days apart if you can't do a 100% break up right now. May seem harsh right now, but let her go completely. She disrespected you and needs to understand that she can't do that to you in order for you both to have a healthy relationship. Above all, she hurt you deeply. Don't ignore it... it's a tell of the future relationship and it doesn't sound fruitful to me. I personally am all for working on a relationship, but when the other does not respect you, it is time to let go. It's the deal-breaker for me and should be for everyone imo.
Moonless sky Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 I personally am all for working on a relationship, but when the other does not respect you, it is time to let go. It's the deal-breaker for me and should be for everyone imo. This actually helps me my now ex : ( is not respecting me at all but I don't wanna let him go. Idk I hope he effin stops.
Author NoneoftheAbove Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 I just got home from meeting her.. she came down in a mess..we started talking. She admits it was a mistake and willing to do anything to show me how much she cares and prove how much i mean to her. I was in her car, she wouldnt let me out. Kept driving around the block..i got out of the car once she stopped and started walking she came out running dont go crying.. my heart said give it another chance...she kept holding my hand and wanted a kiss i didnt give her a kiss i gave her a hug and said good night.
Author NoneoftheAbove Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 She wants to work things out..I do too but how am i going to trust her? i guess i need time...
Author NoneoftheAbove Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 How should i approach this guys? Was it wise that I've given a chance..What do i do, where do i go from here...?
Moonless sky Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 (edited) How should i approach this guys? Was it wise that I've given a chance..What do i do, where do i go from here...? Only time will tell if it was wise, just be cautious. I will be honest though, I feel both sides pain, I'd do anything to have my baby back. Anything. If she starts to seem suspicious than question it but don't fight about it. If you want this to work she needs to regain your trust. Edited March 20, 2012 by Moonless sky
CaliBabe Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 (edited) She keeps texting me..saying how much she loves me and the thought of me finding someone new is driving her crazy. She says she cares about me.. this one kinda got to me because i feel bad.. "how you made me feel like the luckiest girl. Ive never been so attracted to somebody in so many ways. I admire you" Good luck sleeping at night now. She can say whatever she wants. Truth and cold facts are SHE SENT NASTY TEXT MESSAGES TO ANOTHER GUY. Case closed. You'd be a fool to go back to that. Lord knows that the future would bring. She would know that your a sucker and she could do whatever she wants. All she has to do is feed you some BS. Kick her to the curb! Onwards and upwards. You'll be here in a couple more months when she does something similar or worse, good luck man. We have all tried to give you some solid advice but when it all boils down, it's your life, your choice. Trust is dead now. We all warned you. Edited March 20, 2012 by CaliBabe
Author NoneoftheAbove Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 She can say whatever she wants. Truth and cold facts are SHE SENT NASTY TEXT MESSAGES TO ANOTHER GUY. Case closed. You'd be a fool to go back to that. Lord knows that the future would bring. She would know that your a sucker and she could do whatever she wants. All she has to do is feed you some BS. Kick her to the curb! Onwards and upwards. You'll be here in a couple more months when she does something similar or worse, good luck man. We have all tried to give you some solid advice but when it all boils down, it's your life, your choice. Trust is dead now. We all warned you. She admits shes done something terrible but on my side how would i trust her again. I just dont know yet
Author NoneoftheAbove Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. I just want some advice on how to approach this....i dont wanna live looking at her emails or fb msgs to see if someone msged her..so how can i go on? she said shed give me all her passwords but i said i dont want it thats now the way you ll gain my trust.
Chi townD Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 So.....what do you want to do? I mean if an Ex is an Ex does this mean you get free naked pics too? Do you even know if she did that for sure? You know she responded back to his sexting. How bad was it? If you get back with her, there needs to be ground rules. That you need to set and she needs to follow. Perphaps couples counseling if you're up for it. Question is, what do you want to do? No one here can answer that for you.
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