When your gf breaks up with you is no contact a method to use to get her back?

[WomenAreNuts]

What up all,

So as some of you know my ex gf and I broke up a bit over two months ago due to my "lack of communication" with her....wtf...whatever. Now what i'm asking you all this time is how girl react to guys who don't try to call them or work things out when they break up. We haven't attempted any contact since the split. Last time we broke up...last year...i did everything to get her back in my life. It worked, for about two weeks, then we broke up again. We got back together while working in Hawaii(we live in CA) and stayed together for two months after returning to CA. This time, unlike the last time we broke up, i'm not attempting to contact/win her love back. Is this relationship suicide for me? Meaning, is there NO WAY that the no contact thing is making her miss me more or want to get back together with me?.......i don't know.....love stinks like Sandler says!

[soooconfused]

trust me...no contact will work. Strange how it is but i have always found the second i stopped pursuing and acted as though i didnt care they always manage to come around. It may be painful, but it is best.

[sally1530]

does that work the other way around? If I have no contact with him , he broke off our marriage because I found him on a website emailing girls our entire relationship. He must have loved me , or he wouldnt have proposed, but I asked him if I wouldnt have found this secret out , would he have still married me? HE said yes. so he called off the marrige 28 days before the wedding and I moved out the next day from his house. Its been 6 weeks and he still wants no contact with me . Is it really over, does he hate me cause I dicovered the truth? should I just move on with my life , I mean that is what im doing right now, cause I dont think he will ever think he did anything wrong, and hes not wanting to change or even look me in the eye. I guess maybe in this case I just need to move on. This guy called off the wedding, not postphoning it.... so that probably says it all , hes 38 and hasnt had more than 3 one year relationships.... maybe im not the one for him.

[faux]

Originally posted by WomenAreNuts

What up all,

So as some of you know my ex gf and I broke up a bit over two months ago due to my "lack of communication" with her....wtf...whatever. Now what i'm asking you all this time is how girl react to guys who don't try to call them or work things out when they break up. We haven't attempted any contact since the split. Last time we broke up...last year...i did everything to get her back in my life. It worked, for about two weeks, then we broke up again. We got back together while working in Hawaii(we live in CA) and stayed together for two months after returning to CA. This time, unlike the last time we broke up, i'm not attempting to contact/win her love back. Is this relationship suicide for me? Meaning, is there NO WAY that the no contact thing is making her miss me more or want to get back together with me?.......i don't know.....love stinks like Sandler says!

 

"No contact" is not a game to play, that will make your ex miss you more or want you more, or even want to work things out. Discontinuing contact is just common sense, and it allows you to go "Oh. This relationship is over. I am going to move on with my life now so that I can feel better sooner." Trying to "fix" things with an ex who just broke up with you is never, ever a good idea. You will either be dealing with the police when she gets freaked out, stressing yourself out and making things far worse, or both.

 

It is fine, and was fine, for you to talk things out with the ex and try to see if anything could be done. However, that is as far as I think one should take it. When a relationship is ended, you need to respect the other person's rights. In any relationship, any person involved has a right to end it at any time for his or her own reasons, and has the right not to be bothered or made to feel guilty about the decision. It is best just to discontinue contact and move on, for your own sake. "No contact" is not a way to play a game and win someone back; it is to help you heal faster and learn that when something is over it is over.