Nancy B Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 For the past few months I have lived abroad and my current friends are a small expat community. Last night a lot of us were at a bar. I was the only sober person. A girl I know had a joke with me over her boyfriend who was clearly drunk. I made an off the cuff comment that he had blabbered that he had to have a serious chat with me and another friend. This was clearly jibberish because we are not close and he stumbled away mid sentence. His girlfriend found it funny and we laughed. Next thing, she is in her boyfriends face demanding why he needs to have serious talks with other girls. I calmly interrupted, in a friendly, to say it wasn't a big deal. She went INSANE. She began screaming that I was full of ****. She punched me in the face and accused me of sleeping with someone other than my boyfriend(a lie) in a bar full of people. I welled up, which only made her more angry and I walked away. Her and her bf disappeared soon after and i rejoined the party. I am in complete shock. Slander and violence are NEVER ok, so how the hell do I respond to it from a 'friend'? Everyone said she is a bad drinker, not to expect an apology and just get on with things. There has been no apology yet and I'm really angry and upset. Please tell me what you would do in my situation?
CC12 Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 Yikes. That's really messed up. What to do in your situation? Jeez, I really don't know. You got punched in the face by an insane drunk person. You're understandably upset by that, but what is there to do about it? Other than never ever interacting with that person again, I guess you could press charges for assault if you want to go that route? Everyone who knows her understands that she's a bad drinker, so don't worry about anyone taking her accusations seriously. You're not the bad guy here. You're the victim of a crazy person. You don't need to "do" anything about it. Unless you want to take legal action. There's always that. Edit: Also, you dealt with this altercation perfectly, by walking away. Good for you.
dreamingoftigers Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 Jeepers, this is just like a friend of mine. I NEVER go to the bar with her EVER. You dont happen to live in Southern Alberta, do you?
Author Nancy B Posted March 19, 2012 Author Posted March 19, 2012 Thanks for your reply CC12. The punch didn't exactly hurt cause she was drunk/dragged away so I doubt it could be deemed as assault. I wouldn't want to go down the police route anyway. Too much drama! It's so difficult because we are such a small community here. This girl and I have several mutual friends. Our boyfriends are pretty close too. Mutual friends told me to forget about an apology (months ago she cut the face of a male friend in a drunken 'mess' fight and he got no apology.) I feel like I will have no choice but to be nice to her, despite the fact she hasn't apologized. People here just want the 'peace.' I would happily resume a drama free life if she would just apologize! Thanks. I'm actually a well trained martial artist so it's a little funny that my initial response was to cry.
CC12 Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 I feel like I will have no choice but to be nice to her, despite the fact she hasn't apologized. People here just want the 'peace.' I would happily resume a drama free life if she would just apologize! Don't expect an apology. Crazy people generally can't recognize when they act crazy. You don't have to be nice to her, either. People there just want "peace?" Well, F that. You were assaulted by this person. You don't have to act nice to her. I know you said it's a small community and it would be hard for you to ignore her, but it's actually not that hard to ignore/avoid one person in a group. I've done it myself. It was easier than I thought it would be. 1
Almond_Joy Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Maybe this can be one of those situations where if one person lets it be known that this behavior's not acceptable, others will support the position. Friend or no, she should not be allowed to treat people this way. People brushing it off isn't going to make it any better. She cut someone in the face?! Why would anyone stand for that, especially from someone they know? If you are not going to confront her about her behavior, I agree with the recommendation to ignore her.
Author Nancy B Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 Yeah, she cut a guy in the face. When he received the same lack of support from the group of friends and no apology from her when she sobered up he completely disassociated himself from the group. My boyfriend is friends with a lot of these people so I feel that option isn't really there for me. Our boyfriends spoke yesterday and they agreed she needed to apologize. She then posted the most insulting apology to my facebook WALL, then messaged it to me. It was really insulting and trying to turn everything around. Despite her obvious assault, everyone is claiming to be too drunk to recall it perfectly. Her messages were really cruel and she said I was overreacting and loving the attention. She said too that she was only apologizing for her boyfriends sake. She offered an 'sorry BUT deny, deny, deny, blame, blame, blame, and then crazy accusations and insults.' I agree that its useless trying to reason with a crazy person. But the injustice of it all is really getting to me. I woke up early this morning and before I could get back to sleep I was fuming over it again.
CC12 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Yeah, she cut a guy in the face. When he received the same lack of support from the group of friends and no apology from her when she sobered up he completely disassociated himself from the group. Maybe it's time for you to find better friends.
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