Women's love/hate relationship with being IGNORED.

[Fondue]

A lot of us suspect this, but never really get a chance to test it out. So last night, my friend and I did just that. Read on for the explanation.

 

Being it St. Patty's day yesterday, pretty much everyone and anyone was out and about having a jolly ol' time at their local watering hole.

 

I went out with a good buddy of mine from my old job. We're not super models by any stretch of the imagination, but definitely decent looking. So we grab our beers and take a seat on the couch, scouting around for potential female companions. We spot a group of about 5 or 6 girls dancing with each other, they're pretty, I won't lie. Guys keep approaching them, and they keep shooting them down. It's ugly. These guys are not bad looking either!

 

The two of us are chillin', talking about random **** and just sippin' our beers. The only two guys in the bar that don't pay them any attention. Noticeably they get closer to us and continue to dance, we continue to talk about ****, and have a few words and jokes with some other girls sitting in our general area, but not committing to any conversation. Just having some "bro" time.

 

The group of girls continue to inch their way toward us. They keep glancing at us, I see their eyes focused on us, and whenever we turn to scout the area and breeze our eyes to them, they immediately look away in an almost shy manner.

 

At this point, they are clear in the path of our eyes. He finally says, "I'm pretty sure these girls want us to talk to them." I ask him to wait it out, I'm testing a theory. I just tell him to not say anything and continue to do as we were.

 

About 10mins later, these girl are literally dancing with their asses in our faces, "accidentally" rubbing their butts on our legs. I still tell him to chill.

 

These girls then place their drinks next to us, I give him the signal to still stay quiet.

 

Eventually one of the girls sits next to us and breaks. She finally says something, I ignore her and my friend says some mild **** like, "oh, hi."

 

She's desperately trying to include us in a convo, even asks me why I'm not talking, I say something along the lines of "oh, I don't feel like interrupting." She then makes a joke about how I'm enjoying the "eye candy" in front of me, pointing to her friends. I ignore that comment. She continue to prod me and ask if I "found any bitches yet." I ignore it.

 

It's like a game to these girls now. They can't have us, we're the only dudes in the room that they are paying attention to, and we don't give it back. It infuriates them. The rest of the night they continue to hang with us while we just ignore it.

 

Funny thing, at the end of the night, my buddy's friends come by with one of their females and those girls got into a lady cat fight with the female from our group.

 

Moral of the story: If you ignore women, they will come to you.

[verhrzn]

Yes, if you manipulate people, they will do what you want. That is the beauty OF manipulation... using human psychology to get you what you want.

 

But does the ends justify the means? Are you really ever gonna look at these girls as anything but puppets whose strings you can pull? As objects, with whom's feelings you could twist to your bidding?

 

What is wrong with having a genuine experience... you see they want to talk to you, so you go talk to them?

[Feelsgoodman]

Yes, if you manipulate people, they will do what you want. That is the beauty OF manipulation... using human psychology to get you what you want.

 

But does the ends justify the means? Are you really ever gonna look at these girls as anything but puppets whose strings you can pull? As objects, with whom's feelings you could twist to your bidding?

 

What is wrong with having a genuine experience... you see they want to talk to you, so you go talk to them?

You obviously missed the part of the post where he describes these girls shooting down every guy who tried to talk to them. They were only interested in the OP and his friend because they were ignoring them.

[Sith Apprentice]

Ignoring works best in bars and clubs when you know the woman is an AW. Ignoring is the AW's kryptonite. Whenever I see women shaking their asses in clubs, bars, or parties I always ignore them or leave the room.

[ThaWholigan]

Yes, if you manipulate people, they will do what you want. That is the beauty OF manipulation... using human psychology to get you what you want.

 

But does the ends justify the means? Are you really ever gonna look at these girls as anything but puppets whose strings you can pull? As objects, with whom's feelings you could twist to your bidding?

 

What is wrong with having a genuine experience... you see they want to talk to you, so you go talk to them?

Power/social games are an attractive source of entertainment to a select few. I believe our OP wanted to find out what was so great about it for himself. It definitely works, I have inadvertently had this effect on (some) women without realizing it.

 

It depends on how you look at the people who you play these games with - because like it or lot, a significant portion of people you meet will be playing these games, either on a low level or a high level.

 

Hence why it is usually a relief to meet people who cut the bull**** and get to the meat and potatoes. However, those people tend to be divisive by default, but no doubt they are not too bothered about it, and if they are they tend to be conflicted.

 

I prefer to talk directly to people, but I have realized that sometimes you have to play a game when it warrants it. Being a dynamic individual is central to your success in anything, so it seems.......

[verhrzn]

You obviously missed the part of the post where he describes these girls shooting down every guy who tried to talk to them. They were only interested in the OP and his friend because they were ignoring them.

 

Or maybe the OP and his friend were the only one the girls were interested in to begin with. Chicken or the egg.

 

And there's still the subtle point of, why would you want to be with someone you had to manipulate to get? Someone that you can't just sit down and have a genuine connection with?

[ThaWholigan]

Or maybe the OP and his friend were the only one the girls were interested in to begin with. Chicken or the egg.

 

And there's still the subtle point of, why would you want to be with someone you had to manipulate to get? Someone that you can't just sit down and have a genuine connection with?

You obviously underestimate how difficult it can be to strike up a "genuine connection" with people. A lot of people are playing a game of sorts. Not all, but still you would be surprised. Whose to say those girls weren't playing a game?

[Professor X]

Or maybe the OP and his friend were the only one the girls were interested in to begin with. Chicken or the egg.

 

And there's still the subtle point of, why would you want to be with someone you had to manipulate to get? Someone that you can't just sit down and have a genuine connection with?

 

I suppose you can never be your true self with someone new from the get go. It gets time to open up, so up until that point it's just attraction games, I guess. Dunno, my RS always sprung out of friendship anyway, so I was never entirely closed nor open to begin with.

[Feelsgoodman]

Or maybe the OP and his friend were the only one the girls were interested in to begin with. Chicken or the egg.

 

And there's still the subtle point of, why would you want to be with someone you had to manipulate to get? Someone that you can't just sit down and have a genuine connection with?

How could those girls only be interested in the OP and his friend and not any other man in the bar, considering they never exchanged a word with the OP and his friend? I could see that being the case if they were the only attractive men in the joint but the OP stated that the other guys were good looking too.

 

Those girls were clearly attention whores (as are most attractive women in the bar scene). Once they realized they weren't getting attention from the OP and his buddy, they started progressively escalating their AW tactics. And I don't believe the OP ever stated he wanted to be with these girls. I saw his post as purely observatory in nature.

[snug.bunny]

About 10mins later, these girl are literally dancing with their asses in our faces, "accidentally" rubbing their butts on our legs. I still tell him to chill.

 

You did the right thing...

 

I mean, had you rubbed your trunk in their junk, things could have gotten ugly.

[AD1980]

If i ignore women they just tend to ignore me lol

[Fondue]

You did the right thing...

 

I mean, had you rubbed your trunk in their junk, things could have gotten ugly.

 

These girls became sleezy by the end of the night. They had more drinks, got more drunk, and much more "forward" about their actions.

 

Their ring leader sat next to me again and had her friend grind her like a lap dance. She starts saying stuff like, "yah, check that ass. You wanna grab it?"

 

I say, "nah, I'm good."

 

She says, "it might be your only opportunity!"

 

I ignore it.

 

So she grabs my hand and rubs it all over her friend's butt.

 

____________________________________________________________

 

In response to Verhrzn, I did not manipulate anyone. I don't think these girls were genuinely into us, at least it doesn't seem like it. I maintain that the only reason they were all over us is because we didn't give them the attention.

 

It's like wanting what you can't have. I'm sure as soon as we would have given some SOMETHING, they would have been satisfied, think they "won," and probably would have left right there after.

[snug.bunny]

These girls became sleezy by the end of the night. They had more drinks, got more drunk, and much more "forward" about their actions.

 

Their ring leader sat next to me again and had her friend grind her like a lap dance. She starts saying stuff like, "yah, check that ass. You wanna grab it?"

 

I say, "nah, I'm good."

 

She says, "it might be your only opportunity!"

 

I ignore it.

 

So she grabs my hand and rubs it all over her friend's butt.

 

Women enjoy attention and enjoy being noticed, you didn't provide it, so they certainly went above and beyond in their attempt to achieve it. They were drunk so I am sure that only escalated matters. Hey, at least you got a good show out of it. Personally, I preferred doing the floor-worm in my past drunken antics.

[kaylan]

People want what they cant have. Simple. I dont see anyone behave differently out in bars and clubs. Ive had it work on me...I just assume a chick will have an attitude and personality I like if she can be confident and not overly forward.

 

Thats what I think is what happened with these girls. They dont want guys who just throw themselves at her and her friends. Guys gotta set themselves apart from the crowd. Ive always done better on nights out when I just "bro'd out" and didnt make women my goal.

 

OP, how old were these chicks btw? I imagine they had to be young girls to act this way.

[Woggle]

The same has happened to me before. If you want to impress me that is not the way to do it.

[fortyninethousand322]

Yeah this is basically true. You have to be aloof to get women interested. Act like you care and they run away faster than a speeding locomotive.

[kaylan]

Or maybe the OP and his friend were the only one the girls were interested in to begin with. Chicken or the egg.

 

And there's still the subtle point of, why would you want to be with someone you had to manipulate to get? Someone that you can't just sit down and have a genuine connection with?

Hmmm...tbh...this is a great possibility. And a great analogy too.

 

These chicks may very well have pegged OP and his friend as the guys they wanted to talk to that night, and were simply blowing off the other guys hoping OP would finally come and speak to them.

 

I was buddies with a chick who blew off guys all night waiting for my good friend to get there and talk to her. She didnt wanna risk him seeing her with another guy.

[Fondue]

People want what they cant have. Simple. I dont see anyone behave differently out in bars and clubs. Ive had it work on me...I just assume a chick will have an attitude and personality I like if she can be confident and not overly forward.

 

Thats what I think is what happened with these girls. They dont want guys who just throw themselves at her and her friends. Guys gotta set themselves apart from the crowd. Ive always done better on nights out when I just "bro'd out" and didnt make women my goal.

 

OP, how old were these chicks btw? I imagine they had to be young girls to act this way.

These girls were in their early 20s, if I had to guess. I can't imagine older than say... 26.

[Woggle]

Yeah this is basically true. You have to be aloof to get women interested. Act like you care and they run away faster than a speeding locomotive.

 

Not entirely true. This might work with drunk women in clubs but if I were single I would never want that. I can't stand being around people of either gender who can't handle their liquor. I dealt with enough of that when I was bartending.

[kaylan]

How could those girls only be interested in the OP and his friend and not any other man in the bar, considering they never exchanged a word with the OP and his friend? I could see that being the case if they were the only attractive men in the joint but the OP stated that the other guys were good looking too.

 

Those girls were clearly attention whores (as are most attractive women in the bar scene). Once they realized they weren't getting attention from the OP and his buddy, they started progressively escalating their AW tactics. And I don't believe the OP ever stated he wanted to be with these girls. I saw his post as purely observatory in nature.

Sometimes people peg one person as their primary prey for the evening and then wont go after anyone else until they know their status with their first choice.

 

Why ruin your shot with who you really wanted by talking to someone else?

 

These girls were in their early 20s, if I had to guess. I can't imagine older than say... 26.

I figured as much lol.

[Fondue]

Hmmm...tbh...this is a great possibility. And a great analogy too.

 

These chicks may very well have pegged OP and his friend as the guys they wanted to talk to that night, and were simply blowing off the other guys hoping OP would finally come and speak to them.

 

I was buddies with a chick who blew off guys all night waiting for my good friend to get there and talk to her. She didnt wanna risk him seeing her with another guy.

 

I'm not a woman, but I have a hard time believing we were the chosen two that they wanted to talk to. Besides, there were like five of them. Ratio doesn't make sense.

 

Additionally, we got there after they were already there. I have no idea how long they were there for.

 

Like I mentioned in my original post, we were not any more attractive than the dudes that approached them. We also didn't dress like we make millions, neither of us is built, etc. etc. I simply can't imagine being the two that the girls simply wanted. It makes no sense.

 

I just think that they were playing a game, and hated the fact that they weren't winning.

[fortyninethousand322]

Not entirely true. This might work with drunk women in clubs but if I were single I would never want that. I can't stand being around people of either gender who can't handle their liquor. I dealt with enough of that when I was bartending.

 

I've seen it happen with sober people too. Some person will like someone else, and instead of getting together, the other person would be pining after somebody who barely knows they exist.

[kaylan]

These girls became sleezy by the end of the night. They had more drinks, got more drunk, and much more "forward" about their actions.

 

Their ring leader sat next to me again and had her friend grind her like a lap dance. She starts saying stuff like, "yah, check that ass. You wanna grab it?"

 

I say, "nah, I'm good."

 

She says, "it might be your only opportunity!"

 

I ignore it.

 

So she grabs my hand and rubs it all over her friend's butt.

 

Eh...this kind of behavior is a straight turn off to me. I wouldnt be impressed. I prolly would have rolled my eyes and scoffed in her face and said "you ladies think Im that easy"

 

Its a shame many women think all men are so easy.

[Woggle]

I've seen it happen with sober people too. Some person will like someone else, and instead of getting together, the other person would be pining after somebody who barely knows they exist.

 

This most happens in clubs as well. Most of them are just meat markets. I actually prefer cocktail lounges and dive bars these days and probably would if I were single as well. I am not into trendy places. I live within walking distance and I have only been inside of Karma a few times.

[Leigh 87]

:sick:These girls are pathetic.

 

Sure - I respect that each person has their own ways in which they like to have " fun"..... I try not to judge people, but really... I find it sad that they measure their self worth, based on how many guys find them attractive.

 

 

It sounds like, if they talk to men that seam harder to get, and the men slowly respond and open up to them, they think " I won, I am attractive enough yay"

 

 

 

I am very attractive when I work out and take care of myself ( 6 lbs over it atm ) but I am attractive, and yet I prefer to have my fun dancing, and I only would bother talking to men if I said hi, and struck up a genuine connection.

 

 

Although I am attractive, my style is: talk to guys and have a genuinely nice conversation with people.

 

I am a positive, happy, fun, and very kind person, without being too overbearing or loud at first. I find that if u simply be sweet, smile, and do not act like your whoring for attention, guys repond much more positvely.

 

 

Onls super models could get away with this behaviour, in my eyes; OR, men who are on gthe hunt sex, would take up the opportunity.

NO "quality" man, would take those girls seriously, for anything more than a shag if they were in the mood.

Mannn. What happened to the girls who go out to just have fun? Without having to see how many guys want them? *sigh*.

 

 

 

Very interesting theory, though... Unfortunately, I do not think it will work in all settings and circumstances.... And the guys would have to be hot enough to interest the girls.

 

 

Clubs are busy.... IS it really feasible, for a group of 5 chicks, to exhuast ALL their options with the good looking men ( namely, ignooring the ones who approach), and go for the only men in the club that ignore THEM?

 

 

 

Again:sick: I cannot believe they would lower themselves to the level of sitting next to you, trying to get u to touch their @sses.... I mean, cme on.

 

 

I know I am attractive to a lot of men, but I do not go around sticking out my butt, assuming all men will want to touch it. Not all men are like that, and although I am attractive, I do not assume I am every ones cup of tea....

 

 

I dunno... There is nothing wrong with shameless fun.... I watch reality TV at times.

flirting is fun, feeling wanted is fun, but it is much better and u gain more actual respect from men, who u actually converse with, and get to know some what...

 

 

Perhaps these girls KNOW this, but just like to pay this game when they go out? I guess it is okay if they do not go HOME or hook up with anmy old dude they can " win over". A game is fine I guess!!! Not one I would enjoy, still..

 

I just hate the idea of being attractive, and assuming all men will want me, to the point where I go and sit there and get them to touch my bum.... gross:sick:

 

 

It sort of puts me off, when a girl austomatically thinks guys want them...