counterman Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 I think she wants to bring a friend but doesn't want to say it out right, so she asked me if I wanted to bring a friend! What should I say? I don't want to.
ascendotum Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 that would be my logical conclusion too, though I dont see why should cant say she's also meeting her friend. I'd be a lttle disappointed that she feels the need to have her friend chaperone/review you. If you don't want to have a friend also then don't, you wont be any worse for it imo. If she cuts the date short to keep her friend happy if she gets bored, then you'll get a 2nd chance if she likes you. If you like her then be nice to her friend also.
Author counterman Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 See, the thing is, I don't care if she brings a girl friend but if she brings a guy and I've had instances in the past, they just make life very difficult. I am a little disappointed... but she's probably not all that comfortable with me I guess.
Author counterman Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 Okay, nevermind, she has a boyfriend.
ascendotum Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Oh well, forget this post. On to the next one dude.
oaks Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Okay, nevermind, she has a boyfriend. Based on your first post I was going to say "she doesn't think it's a date", but you know that now. Next! 1
Author counterman Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 She says it would make her boyfriend will more comfortable if she brought a friend. Thing is, I was flirting with her and all... Okay, next.
RedRobin Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 in the spirit of better communication between men and women about what constitutes a 'date'... It seems like she found a way to effectively communicate that she has a boyfriend. You are now free to make other choices and are liberated from the uncertainty of not knowing where you stand so that you can focus your efforts elsewhere. This seems like a good thing. Is there anything she could have done differently in the beginning? Do you feel she reciprocated in the flirting? If so, how? I'm asking because I don't want to be sending out mixed signals to men I might not be interested in but like them as friends... and alternatively, I've been in situations where the man has flirted with me (excessivily, I think) and then later found out he had a girlfriend. It doesn't feel good either way.
Author counterman Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 I would have appreciated if she told me upfront she had a boyfriend. If she did, I would have still hung out with her... and been friends. But instead, I thought it was a 'date' and that changed my mindset. I'm glad she at least let me know though. Every girl who I've approached who has had a boyfriend, has, well, told me she has a boyfriend It's always been clear that I'm interested in them, right from the start. Best thing she could have done was slip in the 'boyfriend' word in the 20 - 30 minutes conversation we had. There were plenty of opportunities. In saying that, it is just her first year at uni and seems a little inexperienced and shy. I don't think she reciprocated in flirting, as I find a lot of the girls I meet start flirting on the first date and onwards, but she was definitely interested in one way or another. She suggested the idea for the 'date' and as I left said "Okay! So I'll see you Thursday :D" and seemed more excited then I was about it. I don't know. But it's all good now I know where I stand. If you're interested in a guy as a friend, use the words 'hang out' and slip it in somewhere that he is a 'friend'. Some guys after hearing that, will find a reason not to talk to you again, because they're interested. As for the guys excessively flirting and have girlfriends, there's not much you can do there...
dispatch3d Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 Its possible she was thinking of changing boyfriends initially then decided against it. Also if a girl wants to bring a friend on a date don't make a big deal out of it. Just let her bring the friend. If she likes you things will happen, if she doesn't things won't.
Feelsgoodman Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 I think she wants to bring a friend but doesn't want to say it out right, so she asked me if I wanted to bring a friend! What should I say? I don't want to. If a woman says she wants to bring a friend, it's sure sign that she's not interested in you romantically. 1
Author counterman Posted March 19, 2012 Author Posted March 19, 2012 Its possible she was thinking of changing boyfriends initially then decided against it. Also if a girl wants to bring a friend on a date don't make a big deal out of it. Just let her bring the friend. If she likes you things will happen, if she doesn't things won't. That's a possibility and another one is she doesn't even have a boyfriend and just wanted to signal her disinterest/change of mind. You're right, I tend to make too much of a deal out of those things. I'll bare that in mind next time. If a woman says she wants to bring a friend, it's sure sign that she's not interested in you romantically. Sounds like it, I've only had it happen to be once though and that was this case.
Nightsky Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 I would have done it especialy if she was bringing a girl... nah if she was bringing a guy. If she brought a girl it would have given you the oportunity to meet another girl. Also she may be looking to leave her bf it all seems odd.
Author counterman Posted March 19, 2012 Author Posted March 19, 2012 I would have done it especialy if she was bringing a girl... nah if she was bringing a guy. If she brought a girl it would have given you the oportunity to meet another girl. Also she may be looking to leave her bf it all seems odd. Seems really odd. Obviously she told her boyfriend, but if she told her boyfriend how I approached her and what I said, he would definitely be opposed to her meeting me. I don't know. It's over anyway --- I sort of left the door open to meet up in the future but don't plan on it. I'm with you though, if she brings a girl friend, I'm all for it. If she brought a guy, well...
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