daniel27 Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 (edited) My girlfriend of 2 years recently dumped me. We were young and went to colleges about an hour and a half apart and being young we were in love with the idea of being in love. We had planned to marry and had talked to our families about it and they had accepted it. She was my first serious relationship and I was her third, although the other two hadn't lasted nearly as long and were when she was even younger. She wants to be on her own and be independent for a while and enjoy single life and have fun and experience everything she can without being tied down before it's too late. She's a really really good girl. She's not a party go-er or someone who goes out. Her craziest night probably is getting moderately drunk with her girlfriends at their houses. I can understand all of that about herself wanting to be independent but what hurt was that she basically told me she thinks that she can do better. I know (because she's told me) that I am much better than her two other boyfriends. She had a list of qualities she wants in a man that included kind, compassionate, attractive, loving and caring and she told me I had every single one except for two. Onebeing that she wishes I was more spontaneous. I am pretty spontaneous but at the same time I like plans and she would constantly cancel plans we had made days in advance the day before which would sometimes send me into a fit. The more important one however was that I didn't mesh with her family and family is huge to her. I would always go to her family events but I never knew anyone and their family never took the time to introduce me to anyone. I would sit there looking lonely and irritated and then she and her family would get angry with the fact that I didn't talk to people who are twice my age, have never met me before, and who are already having conversations with people they know. I know I wasn't perfect. Being young, I would always want to see her and within a year and a half, probably made that hour and a half drive to see her over 120 times. She would then get angry with me for distracting her from schoolwork by coming up however when I wouldn't come up she'd procrastinate with her girlfriend/roomate. If she ever had too much work I wouldn't come up but she would always tell me how much she missed me and wanted to see me. We would argue but we're young and live 100 miles apart but I could also tell that she wasn't putting the same effort into the relationship in the last few months that she had in the beginning and that is what always upset me and led to our arguements. The week before the breakup she wrote a letter telling me how much she loved me and that she could see a future and marriage between the two of us but liked that we were just focusing on enjoying ourselves and each other. When she broke up with me and I asked her about it she told me that she had said that because she knew it was what I wanted to hear. I don't know if I entirely believe her on that though because she would look into my eyes and tell me the same thing and I could see the truth in her eyes. She told me that she didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone right now but also she isn't 100 percent sure that we're suppose to be together. She thinks that everything should just be easy and fall into place if we're meant to be. She's changed quite a bit but deep down she's still the same girl that I love and the changes don't make me love her any less. I think that things can work, I'm just so scared that she'll find someone with those 2 other qualities and her family will love him and I'll just be the guy who wasn't good enough. I KNOW that she loves me and I absolutely love her. I'm willing to work on the whole family thing because I know it is REALLY important to her. Am I a bad boyfriend for the things I did do wrong? Do you think I have a good shot at getting back with her because I do love her and would do anything to have her in my arms again even through all of this. She knows that we may end together but we may not as well. This could be just what we needed in that she needs this time to appreciate the relationship like she had in the beginning. Any help would be great! Edited March 18, 2012 by daniel27
freetolove Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 I"m sorry to say but you should move on. you're young. heal up and open your heart to let someone else in.
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