swag42 Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Ok here it is. I generally do NOT care if my bf watches porn...as long as I am getting to have sex with him. But my problem is....once in a while my work schedule is crazy and I sometimes have to work the overnight shift or doubles or whatever...either way between that and the kids we don't always get to have sex...usually when everything is good we manage every other night. But my question is...do any other women have a problem about there men watching porn and "getting" off on it while they are Unable to have sex for what ever reason.. The best way to sum this up I guess is It bothers me when he does the porn thing when I ain't getting any. lol. If we are having sex regularly then more power to him but otherwise it bothers me. Is this a problem for other women or is it just me? Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 If porn was considered cheating I'd be screwed! But yeah, he should give you some loving...I've never replaced one with the other, they're kind of separate experiences doing one of the other doesn't affect me, but based on his sex drive that might be a little difficult? Maybe try to spice things up, recommend some new positions or do something to provoke him into desiring your sex, since that might trigger a "second coming" and I'm not talking about jesus! Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Porn is not cheating and the only time it really makes sense as something to gripe about is if her spends himself on it and under-performs with you. But if you don't see each other that often and sex is good between you, porn serves to keep his plumbing humming. There is something to that saying "use it or lose it" and if the roles were reversed, I'd prefer my g/f to be hot and orgasmic and masturbating when I'm not around than having her be repressed and uptight about it. I think it would let her learn her body and strengthen her sexual imagination which is good for the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
flyaway Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 My bf looks at porn sometimes when I am away at school and I can't be there to satisfy him. I've always known this and I'm not bothered. Heck, we even watch it sometimes together! I do not consider porn photos/videos to be cheating. What I think IS cheating though, is going onto a porn webcam site and interacting with the women/men on webcam. That is a no-no to me. But it's just going on and watching pre-filmed videos and movies, I don't have a problem with it. I'd rather my boyfriend get his rocks off and be satisfied than be unhappy while waiting for me. That doesn't seem fair. He has needs too and I'm not always around to meet them. Porn seems like a good (temporary) replacement as long as it's not abused. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Not cheating. Sounds more like jealousy to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Ok here it is. I generally do NOT care if my bf watches porn...as long as I am getting to have sex with him. But my problem is....once in a while my work schedule is crazy and I sometimes have to work the overnight shift or doubles or whatever...either way between that and the kids we don't always get to have sex...usually when everything is good we manage every other night. But my question is...do any other women have a problem about there men watching porn and "getting" off on it while they are Unable to have sex for what ever reason.. The best way to sum this up I guess is It bothers me when he does the porn thing when I ain't getting any. lol. If we are having sex regularly then more power to him but otherwise it bothers me. Is this a problem for other women or is it just me? Have you spoken to him about this issue? Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 The best way to sum this up Somebody here summed it up the other day when pointing out that "Facebook doesn't do anything". Porn doesn't do anything either. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 She was talking about the way/frequency/fact that her husband USES porn. Porn in itself just sits there waiting to be clicked on. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Well, if all he's doing is looking at images on a computer screen...well, I know of worse things he could be doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Black Jack Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Ok here it is. I generally do NOT care if my bf watches porn...as long as I am getting to have sex with him. But my problem is....once in a while my work schedule is crazy and I sometimes have to work the overnight shift or doubles or whatever...either way between that and the kids we don't always get to have sex...usually when everything is good we manage every other night. But my question is...do any other women have a problem about there men watching porn and "getting" off on it while they are Unable to have sex for what ever reason.. The best way to sum this up I guess is It bothers me when he does the porn thing when I ain't getting any. lol. If we are having sex regularly then more power to him but otherwise it bothers me. Is this a problem for other women or is it just me? Porn is not cheating. As long as he's still making you feel good it shouldn't be a problem, right? If you're not home and working long hours, it's understandable he'd want to whack it off right quick. As long as he's not excessively looking at the porn it should be no problem. But once in a while is really nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
wild wolf Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Obviously you do care about his porn usage. NO.... porn is not cheating... its him rubbing one out as every man is entitled. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I think that it's cheating. But most won't agree with me. I think inserting others into your sexual life after marriage is cheating. Porn does involve a whole bunch of people in your sex life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HHC Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 The only people who can judge what behaviour is cheating and what isn't are the people in the relationship. My husband and I don't consider porn cheating per say. But if one of us feels neglected or that the other is hiding, then porn can become cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
volkl1996 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I would ask him how he feels about it...does he consider it cheating? Is he only doing it because you are not available? Talk to him...not us. I found the more I watched porn the more I started looking at other woman in a sleezy, sexy way too. So, in a way, for me, it felt like cheating so I have greatly reduced how much I watch it. I resist the urge more so than ever. In fact I cannot recall when I last watched it...months ago. I feel healthier now too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author swag42 Posted March 20, 2012 Author Share Posted March 20, 2012 Not cheating. Sounds more like jealousy to me. Well hell yea I'm jealous when he would rather whack off to porn then wait for me to get home from work like he normally would. And trust me, there is nothing wrong with me...I could have any man I wanted (not that I would just saying I am not ugly or fat by any means). It's just I feel sometimes he would rather look at other women and jack off to them than have sex with me. And yes I have talk to him about this issue and he promises every time that he promises he won't any more...I mean Yes if I'm not around with working or just not accessible that is fine if he looks at porn and takes care of himself...god know I take care of myself when we go a while due to circumstances...but not when I am home every night and he just doesn't want to because he already has...it makes me feel like Poop! And I have told him this.... hell we could have sex every night if he wanted but it seems to me that he is just bored with me or something and thats why he does this.... Link to post Share on other sites
volkl1996 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 It sounds like you may be justifying, in your head, why he does this: you are not available all of the time. I think this is normal for you to do. Honestly, that's BS in my opinion. He should be able to wait..I do..makes it much more exciting when "it's time". You need to talk to him..tell him how you feel, tell him what you expect, and stick to it. It is my personal experience, if I am looking at porn, something else is going on in the relationship. It's not an availability issue. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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