zanzi Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 ...But I messed it up. I realize I should move on, I honestly do. It's just that...You know what I mean, love is love, it takes a while to die. It takes a while not to think about them every day. To muse over the fact that they are perfectly happy, happier then ever, without you. I wanted to meet him, but then I got mad. I always get mad. I have a temper like a flashflood. I snapped at my freind earlier that week too. Im trying to deal with that part of myself. I told him he should take responsibility for his cheating and lying and not lump the blame on me. I snapped, I always snap when this guy is involved. ( says something obvious doesnt it) months of being strung along and decieved brings out a side of me I cant wait to put away back into the back of my mind, a grumpy, angry, cynical, bitter, obbsessive person who one minute is talking to someone, the next says something harsh which ruined what could have been a kind of reconciliation not of getting back with him but of forgiveness and healing. Then I unleashed verbal bile. I wish I didnt do that. The whole reason it ended was to do with losing of tempers. If a train hit me today, It would be doing me a favour. Why, why why do I want him so much that my insides feel like they are spilling out of my ribs? That I have been in a chronic bad mood with everyone and everything since the break up? I managed to do N.C, for about six to seven weeks. I dont want to go back to square one, I am frustrated and angry. I seemed to be getting somewhere.
MarlaOryx Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 It didn't end because you lost your temper. It ended because the man has no integrity! Lying and cheating? You are so better off. You deserve so much more than that. You may have anger issues that you need to work on, and I encourage you to do just that, but this sounded like an emotionally abusive relationship. Unhealthy to say the least. You want him so much because you think that having him back will stop the pain, since you see him as the cause of it. It won't stop the pain. It will make it continue longer. Take time to grieve. This is a major loss. NC. Support on here and through your friends. Get yourself a Get-Over-Your-Ex workbook. I bet you're angry. 6 or 7 weeks of NC and you have to start the clock over again? Just consider this a little blip in the NC and keep going. We're all here for you.
Author zanzi Posted March 23, 2012 Author Posted March 23, 2012 well, we met up and we slept together. Ugh. Shoot me now. Terrible idea. he told me " dont fall in love with me" knowing full well how I feel about him. I will have to re initiating stone walling and stop talking to him until I stop loving him. You are right, he is abusing me.
robertmathis1026 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 The first thing to do to controlling other is to control yourself Are you SUFFERING THE PAIN, because your ex DUMP you? Can You imagine, if you can make your ex BEGGING TO BACK WITH YOU? click here to make it HAPPEN!!
Dimitris26 Posted March 23, 2012 Posted March 23, 2012 Darling... If i can call you that but you sound like one... You are not in love with that guy... You just feel betrayed and want to see him crawling back to you askin for forgiveness. The point is... that you are better off him... Yes there are ways to win him. Yes there are ways to make him crawl back to you... but its SO SO SO not worthy... for the simple fact that if you do all the things that you need to win him back... you will simply meet so many much more better people... People that actually feel for you... and that will make you forget him... no no.. not forget him... erase him... because the something new ... will be 10 times stronger / better. Words of advice. Make a list. YES and ACTUAL list. List of what i want on the man of my new relationship: 1. 2. 3. 4. *Not stupid things like "I want him to have a sports car" *If he has a high percentage of the things in your list... then you should try him. If not DONT bother... it will just be a crap relathionship and will just remind you how "good" the old guy was. A 45% is good to start with. if he has 4-5 out of 10 things on ur list...
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