ex is contacting me 3+ years later

[listen_to_me_please]

Long story short, about 4 years ago next month, ex and I split. You can read the post(s) I posted here about the split. Fast forward 3 years, she sends me friend request on facebook. I wait 2 months then accept, she makes small talk. Eventually I sent her a text, called her a whore and I thought that was that. (2011)

 

Today she sent me a facebook message asking me about a peace of clothing I wore at a forma several years back and where she could buy it. I respond and tell her where to buy.

 

a) why is this chick contacting me? I assume she must of just broken up with someone, I dunno, its just weird, allot of time has passed, 4 years next month and no contact this while time except maybe 3 facebook messages in all that time.

 

Is this chick trying to become friends or be cool or what is she up too.

I honestly don't really care, Im just trying to figure out the angle.

[BoredAgain]

She's probably just trying to reach out to see how you're doing. Maybe there's more to it, but it doesn't really matter. If you want to be one friendly terms with her again, then feel free to ask how she's doing. If not, then just ignore it and keep moving forward with you life.

[Phanpooh]

8y ago, i dumped my first "real" ex

i didn't see her for long time, maybe it's 4y

then last few months ago, i was "brokenheart", i called her to talk, to apology and then, she took care of my emotional weakness. we r making friendly step together... and we decided that friend- is enough for eachother...

we all know that is over, and we won't come back together again. But there was a time we "connected", so if you want be friend with her again, go ahead.

But if you want second chance ( you posted at second chance forum), make sure you respect her and she do for you too, if she want it, she must work for it. ( remember how much she paid for your pain 4y ago)

yesterday is just history and memory, so dun let's it bother your life anymore ^^ you are different people and she is too...

best luck for you, make friend or second chance? what is important? only you know the answer

PS: if you r still hurt, ignored her again and let she reget forever ) but i know we are not that bad person so, do what your heart tell you and let you mind decide what next...

[listen_to_me_please]

You know, I just read the GIGS post and then I started to think.

The relationship I had so long ago, it was my first real relationship even though I am a grown man. That female didn't have anything, no job, no money, no car, but she was pretty and nice and her body was warm, and her lipgloss was tasty and I always felt at peace when I was with her.

 

I think I carried that relationship but she did her part. I don't think at the time she knew how to be a women, she didnt know anything. We were young and in college.

 

She learned though, I think mostly from me. One time we are having sex, I'll never forget, she's on top and then starts to shake and cry "I love you so much", it was strange.

 

After a while we stop being close, she started working, growing distance, I didn't really care, one day she comes over and has sex with me then says "We'll be friends for ever" Then she made me pinky promise and I remember that day thinking to myself "She has to be the one to leave, I can't do it now"

 

I think thats when she broke up with me, that day, I remember, it was in August of 2007, 5 years ago, wow. The next couple of months, I was traveling, wasn't really in town but I was earning money but it wasn't the same now that I think about it. Its like a daze the next few months but ah, finally in Jan 2008, jesus this was a long time ago, I said to myself "You have to do right by her"

 

Man oh man, I had everything planned but I suppose it was too late. I must of spent 25k cash on an apartment, furniture, everything, whole nine yards, kept it secert, invited her and her friend to come over, and long behold, the best friend sees the kind of man I am, she tells me my EX is having sex with someone else (other females tell me the reason the BF snitched is because the BF wanted to have sex with me) and man was the BF hot

 

I immediately break up with her, throw her out, yada yada she cries "I wanted to tell you for so long, its almost like I think she knew I wouldn't have anything to do with her.

 

SO I ended up in that damn apartment bymyself hurting everyday for about maybe 3 years, that pain stayed with me. Lost my business, all my money, everything. I never contacted her though, she never contacted me either.

 

Fast forward 3 and half years, the girls sends me a facebook friend request. Then I curse her out, 8 months later, she asks me about a hat. I tell her where to get the Hat, then she asks me if I'm not using mine I could sell it to her to save her money...

 

At the same time I'm thinking to reply with something like "whore, if you were on fire, I would not piss on you to save your life" but then I thought about it and just told her "No I lost that hat years ago"

 

Its almost like she remembers me, or the type of person I use to be, its weird thinking about it from NEW eyes. So now whats going on?

That female is/was trying to attempt to open up some line of mutual communication and I am blocking it. I think she knows I am blocking it via these verbal well crafted responses.

 

Whats her end game? I don't know. I'm not the one making contact. That girl, I remember, about 2 years after the break, I use to call her phone just to hear her voice, I dont know why I did that.

 

 

In the end, she threw me to the wolves and popped back up 4 years later like "Hey".

I really like that girl. I wonder what her end-game is. Its something, maybe money, maybe a job, I don't know but its something.

Edited March 27, 2012 by listen_to_me_please

[broken-and-lost]

there are probably a million possible reasons why she has contacted you, she might just be thinking she lost out with you no regrets how things are.

 

What you want to ask yourself is if your still angry at her now you must still feel something but what is it you want from her now apology her to admit fault get back with her or another reason, or just nothing if it's nothing then you should just tell her you do not want any contact its done but you accepted her facebook request why? be honest with yourself and follow your heart on what you want at this stage what she wants is irrelevant, just ask her outright if you think she has an angle

[listen_to_me_please]

Those are true statements. Unknown as to why contact was made. Unknown as to why ask me about trivial affairs. Probably just wanted to be on talking terms, dunno. so she could ask me random question(s) like the ones she did ask, dunno

 

I guess I'm just going to ignore any more messages and call it a day.

 

When you hurt someone and contact them months or years later, its probably just for selfish reason(s), I know I did it with my rebound and that girl loved me. I didn't really care about her though, she's was like a last resort type of thing (the rebound) so I guess thats whats happening now with my ex ex ex ex.

 

Plus now as I'm thinking back, I think she gave me an std. Strange, its either i'm fabriciating reason(s) to not communicate or my mind has return to normal and I see it for what it was which is

 

two people fawking, one of them got board, started cheating and used the other one for money, when the money man became hip, tried to save a job and when that didn't work flipped the whole relationship and blame him which in turned physiologically damaged his mind for a few years then randomly several years later starts facebooking him to which he foolishly responds and starts asking himself "what is she up too?" when in reality my frame of thinking should of been "that silly whore, finally grew up, now let me just trash talk her until she realizes there is no civiliability"

Edited March 31, 2012 by listen_to_me_please

[EgoJoe]

If she contacts again just ask her what her deal is. Be direct, you don't care about whatever so just either ignore or be like, "Ayo what is the deal?"