mymission Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Its been a month since the BU and I've cried every day. But today I just feel numb. He's on my mind, but I can't think in depth about anything. There are no emotions I just feel low and melancholy. Its like my mind is exhausted and won't think too much anymore. Has anybody else felt like this? I get the feeling its gonna be up and down, feeling upset one day and numb the next.
mike588 Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Its been a month since the BU and I've cried every day. But today I just feel numb. He's on my mind, but I can't think in depth about anything. There are no emotions I just feel low and melancholy. Its like my mind is exhausted and won't think too much anymore. Has anybody else felt like this? I get the feeling its gonna be up and down, feeling upset one day and numb the next. Everyone here has felt or is feeling that way...it's normal and ok. You will get thru this! 1
MarlaOryx Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Yes. Sometimes out of sheer exhaustion. The numbness is normal. Unfortunately, you'll get another wave of grief before too long.
RioTFF Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 The same happened to me yesterday. Another wave of grief will come.
HollyBolly Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Can't wait!! LOL I'm going through that second wave of grief right now and I have to tell you, it's not as bad. Just hang in there. You'll be fine. And keep that sarcastic humour!
Author mymission Posted March 17, 2012 Author Posted March 17, 2012 Lol I'll try! What are the stages of grief?
HollyBolly Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Lol I'll try! What are the stages of grief? Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance
MarlaOryx Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 And you don't go straight through them for a breakup. The have a tendency to go in cycles. Yay!
Author mymission Posted March 17, 2012 Author Posted March 17, 2012 Oh right! They weren't stages for me they were / are all mixed together! Except the acceptance one that just about starting to happen now
Dragonsden Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance If this is in sequence than its not true in my case. Mine more or less went Denial Bargaining Depression/Anger/Acceptance (I have had these feelings come and go in no peculiar order)
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Its been a month since the BU and I've cried every day. But today I just feel numb. He's on my mind, but I can't think in depth about anything. There are no emotions I just feel low and melancholy. Its like my mind is exhausted and won't think too much anymore. Has anybody else felt like this? I get the feeling its gonna be up and down, feeling upset one day and numb the next. You are mentally exhausted, we have all gone through it. If you can, get a good night's sleep. Put on mellow tunes---not love songs; maybe something zen:) or sweet uplifting jazz. You will have good and bad days. It's been a year and half since my breakup--it was a tumultuous, abusive time and therefore might take me longer than some to heal as I am very sensitive. You will wake up and feel indifferent sometimes and be able to function and do what you do. Hope you have all better days:)
mike588 Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 As the days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months things get better and as you wake one morning you'll realize that the ex. isn't your 1st thought. Just as your feeling better then...Bam...something triggers the b/u again and you crash and burn then a day or two later you feel better. It sucks...but expect it...it's all part of the healing process. I feel that when I die I won't be going to hell......I've already been there! 2
Author mymission Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 Thanks B&B (bed and breakfast? lol) I really hope so. A year and a half is a long recovery for you x 1
Author mymission Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 Yeah its proper sh*t that even months down the line it will happen! I feel that when I die I won't be going to hell......I've already been there! I totally feel that! 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Thanks B&B (bed and breakfast? lol) I really hope so. A year and a half is a long recovery for you x He was mentally and verbally abusive, played a lot of mind games and it screwed me up. I took an antidepressant for several months to take the edge off and when I got off that, the grief happened again. The medication, for me, was hindering a proper grief process. That could be why this is taking awhile. Also, his hurt was intentional and cruel; I am one who analyzes a lot and I've spent a lot of time pulling this situation apart trying to figure it out. I was obsessed in a huge way--therefore taking the meds helped a little bit. Because of the way it ended and all the terrible names he called me, saying horrible things about my family whom he has never met, and slandering me behind my back, getting people to turn against me, it's something that I wonder if I will ever get over.
HollyBolly Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 You know that desperate and anxious feeling you get sometimes? Like your heart is being ripped out? Almost feels like a panic attack? I got that a lot at first and my therapist recommended I go to the health food store and get this holistic remedy called Iamara (Ignatia Amara). Put one pellet under your tongue whenever you feel an 'attack' coming on. It has really helped me. Just last night, I had to open the window for my puppy as he was panting. I was really reluctant to do so because that would mean looking out the window, which I had been avoiding for a while now (my ex lives RIGHT across the street from me. Happy times!). Well, what did I see? No car! She was out on the town. That really set me back! So, I took a pellet and it calmed me down considerably. Hope it helps all of you, as well. Oh, getting a puppy helps, too. Keeps you REALLY busy!
MarlaOryx Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance Sometimes I go through all of them in a day. Somedays are just full of bargaining, others, just full of depression or anger. Today is an angry day. And it feels good.
HollyBolly Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Sometimes I go through all of them in a day. Somedays are just full of bargaining, others, just full of depression or anger. Today is an angry day. And it feels good. I didn't really go through the denial phase at all but the others? Boy, they come and go and sometimes they are just rolled into one big cloud. I especially hate the bargaining bit! Just so out of character for me. But I know what you mean: anger sometimes feels good for me, too.
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