Lostinlife4now Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Ok, so you were sleeping with another woman's husband, and he is now a "bastard"? A bastard he truly is, but you are responsible for the betrayal of another woman too. Maybe not to the extent he is (and spare us the "I'm not married to her, he is" excuses) So you and he are betraying and hurting someone, and NOW you are the one furious. Only person with the right to be furious here is his wife. As far as the feeling of being lied to, he is a cheater. You knew this. What did you expect? If his wife already knows he had an affair with you, I'd just leave it be. Move on. Learn your lesson not to be a party to hurting another woman again just because you gotta have someone elses guy. Oh, the SCORNED woman! Oh, how nasty SHE can be!!!!!
Lostinlife4now Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Ok, so you were sleeping with another woman's husband, and he is now a "bastard"? A bastard he truly is, but you are responsible for the betrayal of another woman too. Maybe not to the extent he is (and spare us the "I'm not married to her, he is" excuses) So you and he are betraying and hurting someone, and NOW you are the one furious. Only person with the right to be furious here is his wife. As far as the feeling of being lied to, he is a cheater. You knew this. What did you expect? If his wife already knows he had an affair with you, I'd just leave it be. Move on. Learn your lesson not to be a party to hurting another woman again just because you gotta have someone elses guy. Wasn't referring to you Nofool.....Just a hurt woman in general...
Author Meretchen Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 NooFool4u is right. When I let myself loose in the maelstrom of the affair, I did not think of his BSs feelings. I do think quite a lot of her now - she is still in the dark, and I am really in doubt whether I should tell her or not. I might be a coward, avoiding the conflict but right now I just can't bring myself in contact with his wife, even if it might be the right thing to do. I am a mess and I am not sure, I could handle the drama just now. He is still a work colleague, so I have to be careful or things might take a turn for the worse. He might turn even more nasty and tell her and all my friends at work lies. What if they believe him, and not me?
nofool4u Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Oh, the SCORNED woman! Oh, how nasty SHE can be!!!!! She best thank her lucky stars that the wife doesn't play the part of the typical scorned woman.
nofool4u Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 NooFool4u is right. When I let myself loose in the maelstrom of the affair, I did not think of his BSs feelings. I do think quite a lot of her now - she is still in the dark, and I am really in doubt whether I should tell her or not. I might be a coward, avoiding the conflict but right now I just can't bring myself in contact with his wife, even if it might be the right thing to do. Well contact with the wife is the right thing to do, because if she doesn't know of the affair, she NEEDS to know. The acceptable alternative is if you end the affair, its ok to not be able to bring yourself to face her. Just turn around, walk away, and never look back. He might turn even more nasty and tell her and all my friends at work lies. What if they believe him, and not me? Thats when you can get his ass fired. Its called harassment.
Lostinlife4now Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 She best thank her lucky stars that the wife doesn't play the part of the typical scorned woman. I think we should lay off the OW...and CASTRATE the WS!!!! JMO :eek::eek:
nofool4u Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 I think we should lay off the OW...and CASTRATE the WS!!!! JMO :eek::eek: I agree. The WS is the most to blame. But the OW isn't blameless and the WS isn't here telling his story. If I were ever an OM, which I won't be(knowingly anyway), then I'd expect to get punched in the face, and I'd deserve it.
frozensprouts Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 op, the only good advice I can offer you is to take a hard look at the whole situation. Decide what you want. Decide what you don't. Decide what you can control and what you can't. Then, after giving it some more thought, take control of the things that you can to bring about the result that you feel is the right one. Don't let yourself get bogged down in the things you have no control over. if you want the affair to be over and for you to feel like you have a modicum of control over the situation you are in, then find some way to tell his wife. You don't have to do so in person, or even have her know who you are. Just find a way to get proof to her that he has cheated, and then it's out of your hands. You will have taken control over the things that you could, and your life and mind will be yours again. Good luck:)
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