JC90 Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Warning: this may be a little explicit if you're an innocent little virgin angel. Had one date with a 30 y/o (I'm 21) a couple weeks or so ago. It went great - there was definitely a connection and I had an awesome time, so I invited her over for champagne to "celebrate the start of spring break" last night. We drank and talked for a while, and I purposely didn't kiss her for 30+ minutes (even though the first date ended with a make-out) just to build the sexual tension back up. Anyways, at some point we start making out.. We start getting into it so I *sarcastically* tell her I'm not comfortable on the couch (was lame as hell, but I didn't want to carry her because she's 6' tall and I had just hurt my back in the gym earlier this week lmao) and lead her to the bedroom. Kinda wanna shorten this part.. -Continue escalating -at some point I say something about her dress -she says it's not coming off (I.E not having sex) till she "figures me out" -after some joking around, laughing, sexy talk and more kissing I start going down on her -She cums, I go get condom, we start having sex Gets a little odd here.. After a couple minutes she starts to sound like she having an O, but pushes me off. I look down and there's a big splash of blood on my bed. Wasn't really grossed out since I used to have sex with my ex on her period. Apparently she wasn't supposed to have her period for another five days and says something about her lack of sex (3 and 1/2 months) causing it. We watch t.v for a little while and laugh our asses off at some dude calling the cop "papi" on cops, then she leaves. Uhh.. Thoughts? Where should I go from here? I'm only asking because I would like to see her again (one of the first women I've actually connected with in a while) but it was a bit... Odd for a second "date." Not sure how she could feel about it.
veggirl Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 No worries. Just DON'T mention it again. Ever! Ask her for a 3rd date! Pretend the blood thing never happened. She'll be grateful for that
SmileFace Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Just continue like regular. Mishaps are a part of life, contact her and ask her out again and you may want to lay a towel down next time, hehe.
Author JC90 Posted March 18, 2012 Author Posted March 18, 2012 I guess I'll hit her up this Monday or Tuesday about doing something next weekend and see what happens..
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Cover your house and furniture in plastic.....just in case, I'm sure she'll appreciate the gesture and It'll be easy to clean up! -she says it's not coming off (I.E not having sex) till she "figures me out" Super effective! But anyway, that's fish in a barrel, you've got 9 years on her...shouldn't be too hard to figure out for ya?
oaks Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Where should I go from here? Wash the sheets. Good that you weren't grossed out, but she might've been embarrassed by it, especially with it being very early in your relationship. Probably best not to mention it unless she does, and just mentally file it under "sex is messy sometimes". 1
Author JC90 Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 Wow.. I'm like totally infatuated with this chick and freaking out for some reason. I texted her an hour ago saying: "I think you owe me a tour of your place ..Plus I'm pretty sure it's my turn to come to you. Hmm.. This Saturday night?" And haven't gotten any response. But I go on the site where we originally met (yes we met online) and it says she was online like 10 minutes ago. I don't get it.. She's interested enough to sleep with me less than a week ago, now is ignoring me? I'm completely confused.
Son Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Just like a woman to bleed all over the place. She will not go on a 3rd bloody date ( bad teeth British slang with earl gray and milk ) BECAUSE, she showed you that she is a slutty whore. Who sleeps with guys on second dates if not first. She will think that you think she is a dirty slut ( which she is ) and is shameful of her bloody self. Check your self for STD's!!!!! Blood in mouth no good....
veggirl Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Wow.. I'm like totally infatuated with this chick and freaking out for some reason. I texted her an hour ago saying: "I think you owe me a tour of your place ..Plus I'm pretty sure it's my turn to come to you. Hmm.. This Saturday night?" And haven't gotten any response. But I go on the site where we originally met (yes we met online) and it says she was online like 10 minutes ago. I don't get it.. She's interested enough to sleep with me less than a week ago, now is ignoring me? I'm completely confused. Ummm, wow. Could your message sound anymore booty call-ish? Geez. How about asking her on a real date, not a "tour of her house" aka SEX. Bad move. I wouldn't respond if I was her either. Altho if she is 30 and you 21, she perhaps just had her fun and isn't interested in any more. 2
Son Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Just like a woman to have "fun" by bleeding all over the place....
Author JC90 Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 Ummm, wow. Could your message sound anymore booty call-ish? Geez. How about asking her on a real date, not a "tour of her house" aka SEX. Bad move. I wouldn't respond if I was her either. Altho if she is 30 and you 21, she perhaps just had her fun and isn't interested in any more. Wasn't supposed to mean booty call at all. A date can easily be drinking wine and talking at my/her place - like last week when she came over and we had champagne.
Star Gazer Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Wasn't supposed to mean booty call at all. A date can easily be drinking wine and talking at my/her place - like last week when she came over and we had champagne. I wouldn't have considered that a date either, at least not for a grown woman. That was a hookup/bootycall. 1
Author JC90 Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 I wouldn't have considered that a date either, at least not for a grown woman. That was a hookup/bootycall. What's confusing to me is that she was interested enough to to sleep with me last week, but is now ignoring me when I text her? She was qualifying herself to me like crazy (for example "you'll never meet anyone like me"), complimenting me, and even told me that her son isn't with her on Saturday nights (to me this sounds like an open invitation). Very confused by this..
CarrieT Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Very confused by this.. You are confused because she is 21 years old and - at almost a decade younger than you - doesn't know how to communicate effectively to be able to explain that she is confused as well. She is probably ashamed that she had sex when she indicated she had no intention of doing so. We women do things like that - get caught up on the moment and then have regrets... You might not hear from here again because of that shame. She is equating the sexual act with something entirely different than you are and as a man, you probably won't ever be able to figure it out.
Author JC90 Posted March 20, 2012 Author Posted March 20, 2012 You are confused because she is 21 years old and - at almost a decade younger than you - doesn't know how to communicate effectively to be able to explain that she is confused as well. She is probably ashamed that she had sex when she indicated she had no intention of doing so. We women do things like that - get caught up on the moment and then have regrets... You might not hear from here again because of that shame. She is equating the sexual act with something entirely different than you are and as a man, you probably won't ever be able to figure it out. Actually I'M 21 y/o, she's 30. But I guess it makes no difference.
Mantis Toboggan Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Cover your house and furniture in plastic.....just in case, I'm sure she'll appreciate the gesture and It'll be easy to clean up! Maybe he should just wear a latex suit
CarrieT Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Actually I'M 21 y/o, she's 30. But I guess it makes no difference. Sorry about that. In that case, I am guessing you might not hear from here BECAUSE you are that much younger and she'll see you as just a guy looking for a booty call.
dasein Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Agree with veggirl on the booty callish nature of the text. The next step with a woman you have slept with "too soon," if you are interested in dating her, is always "the innocuous daytime date" letting her know very clearly by the nature of the date that sex is not expected. Go to the zoo, botanical garden, park, etc., something that signals, "I'm interested in getting to know you." As important STOP right now with the texting to ask women out. Pledge to never do that again. Call her on the phone or ask her out face to face depending on circumstances. Don't start texting women until you are getting close to exclusivity or at it, and you are nowhere near that point. Be aware that since you are doing OLD, she may be just using the site for NSA. Regardless of what they -say- their actions govern. A woman who willingly got in bed with you that fast and had sex is likely doing it or has done it with others from the site. Don't ever assume today that women are some innocent creatures, and that she did something with you that she doesn't regularly do with lots of other guys. They -all- say "Well I never do this sort of thing," both the ones who don't, and the ones who do it every weekend or more. Prepare yourself that she may not be interested in any kind of regular dating and adjust your expectations and approach accordingly. In short, you have some detective work to do, but the first step is the innocuous daytime date. Good luck. 1
fishtaco Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Funny how women like to preface sex with variants of "I'm not a slut" declarations. Not saying her action is slutty, in fact, I like women that are not afraid to have sex with men, and I've mentioned I don't buy the double standard. If I'm there having sex with her, I'm equally guilty. But anyway, I find that women that do NOT make the "I'm not a slut" declarations to tend to be less psycho. Anyway, this doesn't mean crap. People are flaky, change their minds all the time. So I'd say: - Have a little patience. She may get back to you eventually. - As far as "too booty call", it depends on what she wants. At this point, you have no idea. Maybe if you go for the wine and dine, and she'd be like whoa!!! too much too fast! I've got a clinger, I'm outta here. So I wouldn't worry about that. LS women, while they seem to be the most respectable women I have ever interacted with, do not make up a valid cross-section of the women out in the real world. - If you're not exclusive, date other women. If you feel yourself falling too fast, then it's even more important that you get back that balance by dating other women. - Also, you don't want to sit around and wait for her to change her mind. Date other women. - And lastly, date other women.
sweetsmmr91 Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Well, if I got that text from you I'd assume you thought of me as a booty call and be bothered by that, think that your text clearly shows that you're not interested in getting to know me. And then not reply. But I'm your age, and you said that she's older, so maybe it wouldn't bother her as much. Or she's just busy. She has a kid. And as for texting asking for dates, I think it's okay for people our age. But I feel like when I'm dating an older guy I expect the older guy to call me for dates more than the guys in the 20-25 age range.. so maybe she'd expect you to call her for a date. But I don't think that matters as much. I agree with fishtaco, date other people.. that's what I do when I start liking one guy too much and I'm not sure he feels the same. It's a good distraction to keep me from over analyzing everything and worrying. 2
Mantis Toboggan Posted March 20, 2012 Posted March 20, 2012 Well, if I got that text from you I'd assume you thought of me as a booty call and be bothered by that, think that your text clearly shows that you're not interested in getting to know me. And then not reply. But I'm your age, and you said that she's older, so maybe it wouldn't bother her as much. Or she's just busy. She has a kid. And as for texting asking for dates, I think it's okay for people our age. But I feel like when I'm dating an older guy I expect the older guy to call me for dates more than the guys in the 20-25 age range.. so maybe she'd expect you to call her for a date. But I don't think that matters as much. I agree with fishtaco, date other people.. that's what I do when I start liking one guy too much and I'm not sure he feels the same. It's a good distraction to keep me from over analyzing everything and worrying. I'm not even being sarcastic when I say that this is the best, most honest advice I've ever heard a woman give. You're confused about someone you've only been seeing for a while? DATE SOMEONE ELSE. They're not calling you enough? They're not available enough? DATE SOMEONE ELSE. It would save people so much worrying, and nagging, and question-asking if people would take this advice instead of desperately sinking their claws into the first person who shows them any sexual interest. This advice should be stickied at the top of every new thread. 1
Star Gazer Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Agree with veggirl on the booty callish nature of the text. The next step with a woman you have slept with "too soon," if you are interested in dating her, is always "the innocuous daytime date" letting her know very clearly by the nature of the date that sex is not expected. Go to the zoo, botanical garden, park, etc., something that signals, "I'm interested in getting to know you." Honestly? Pure genius.
Author JC90 Posted March 21, 2012 Author Posted March 21, 2012 Whatever. I sent her a second text around 4 (which I NEVER do) saying "Or you know.. I'm not sure if you've ever been to *area* but it's a pretty cool area, and since the weather's been nice we could always head down there, grab a drink or two, and go for a walk." Still got nothing back.
sweetsmmr91 Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 I wouldn't be too worried! Considering you said she has a kid, there's a lot of things that can be distracting for her. I've got nothing but a paper to take care of, and I haven't texted anyone back all day.. let alone a hyper little child running around.
Emilia Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Whatever. I sent her a second text around 4 (which I NEVER do) saying "Or you know.. I'm not sure if you've ever been to *area* but it's a pretty cool area, and since the weather's been nice we could always head down there, grab a drink or two, and go for a walk." Still got nothing back. Quit the texting. If you want to see her, call her so she can hear your voice and tell you are genuinely interested. I would know if I got a text like yours that you meant a date rather than a booty call but then I'm used to 21 year-olds more than she is. If you call her it will probably work out. If you don't it probably won't.
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