fmlgirl Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Ok so I posted here a couple of days ago about sexual tension with my manager. and the story continues. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/317664-extreme-sexual-tension-my-manager I stayed after work the other night and had a couple of glasses of wine with him.. when we were leaving we started making out passionately in the service exit of my work... realizing this was a little too risky. He walked me to my car in the parking structure and pushed me agaist the passenger door and started making out with me. ***Sorry this is about to get a little sexually graphic*** So after pushing me up against my car, he opens the passenger door and pulls me in on top of him, hes like grinding against me etc. ends up pulling up my shirt, licking my nipples, puts his hand down my pants, fingers me, and were just making out for what seems liek forever. He tried to leave about 5 times but we ended up just kissing again. The parts that concern me: A) he has a girlfriend that he has lived with for 7 years, who I've met and is not cool at all... but she is much bigger than I am and is a little intimidating. I am more attractive than she is and this is an obvious threat. B) is it possibile for this to continue with no one finding out at my work? I for sure am not going to say anything because I don't want to risk either of us losing our jobs... I know this should stop but it is so sexy it's hard to deny.. Any advice? Has anyone else had a similar experience with their managers or bosses?
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 The parts that concern me: A) he has a girlfriend that he has lived with for 7 years, who I've met and is not cool at all... but she is much bigger than I am and is a little intimidating. I am more attractive than she is and this is an obvious threat. You're right, it isn't cool at all. But, you let it happen so BOTH you and him are responsible for this make-out session. You think you're more attractive to her - Why even bring this up? She has 7 years with him, you're his employee and put yourself in a really stupid (not calling you stupid) situation that could bite you in the butt. IF people find out and gossip or are suspicious then you need to accept the fallout and consquences of your actions. Knowing he is your boss and has a girlfriend, why would you allow this to happen? Please don't use 'sexual chemistry' as an excuse to let him have his way with you. You know/knew it was wrong yet went ahead anyway. At work of all places. Let's hope there's no security cameras where you two were making out. I am more attractive than she is and this is an obvious threat. Not sure how you come to this? Just because you think you're more attractive than she is, you feel you're a huge threat to his relationship? It's not like he's in love - He and you were acting upon LUST. That's it.
Author fmlgirl Posted March 17, 2012 Author Posted March 17, 2012 You're right, it isn't cool at all. But, you let it happen so BOTH you and him are responsible for this make-out session. You think you're more attractive to her - Why even bring this up? She has 7 years with him, you're his employee and put yourself in a really stupid (not calling you stupid) situation that could bite you in the butt. IF people find out and gossip or are suspicious then you need to accept the fallout and consquences of your actions. Knowing he is your boss and has a girlfriend, why would you allow this to happen? Please don't use 'sexual chemistry' as an excuse to let him have his way with you. You know/knew it was wrong yet went ahead anyway. At work of all places. Let's hope there's no security cameras where you two were making out. Not sure how you come to this? Just because you think you're more attractive than she is, you feel you're a huge threat to his relationship? It's not like he's in love - He and you were acting upon LUST. That's it. you are totally right. I think part of the reason I'm so attracted to it is because of the amount of risk involved. I say I am more attractive than her because physically she is slightly overweight, and I am not...and it is obvious to me that she is insecure after having met her. She was rude to me from the get go, asking me rudely "oh do you work here?" as the first thing she says upon meeting me. Anyway, it's probably stupid to think that he likes me on an emotional level but he and I are both italian, while she is not. She doesn't speak Italian at all...and I am assuming he sees this as a nice luxury to be able to flirt and have an intimate relationship (albeit the circumstances) in his mother tongue...
Author fmlgirl Posted March 17, 2012 Author Posted March 17, 2012 Obviously him having a g/f and him being your boss doesn't concern you too much or else you wouldn't have let it go that far. smh He's just a horny man looking for a little hot sex on the side, that's what you are signing up for. Is that what you want? If it is, then be prepared for the possible loss of job and all the gossip and who knows maybe the big g/f will come kick your arse. Also she might not see you quite the same as you see yourself, (more attractive). lol Personally I would find getting shagged in the parking garage by the horny boss quite cheap. haha it is a little cheap but we didn't have very many options. It sucks being so attracted to such a dangerous situation. Who knows maybe hell leave her and fall madly in love with me? HAHA
Author fmlgirl Posted March 17, 2012 Author Posted March 17, 2012 Speaking Italian with someone and almost getting f'd in the parking garage is an intimate relationship??? That's a new one for me. HAHA nooo! I meant in the sense that he hasn't been able to flirt or hook up with someone in his mother tongue in almost 10 years...
whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 HAHA nooo! I meant in the sense that he hasn't been able to flirt or hook up with someone in his mother tongue in almost 10 years... You think you're his 'only' flirt and hook up in 10 years? Let alone an Italian one? Please stop putting his gf down. You're doing this to make yourself feel better about what you're doing and also to excuse what you are doing. So, if she was hot and thinner, would you still feel 'above her' and a 'better person'? I don't see you being a better person than her seeing as you're fooling around with her boyfriend and YOUR boss. Any reaction to the security camera possibility? Or maybe someone saw you two making out? Never say never. You're in for a reality check sooner or later and I just hope you realize what you're doing has major consquences. 3
Author fmlgirl Posted March 17, 2012 Author Posted March 17, 2012 Speaking Italian with someone and almost getting f'd in the parking garage is an intimate relationship??? That's a new one for me. You think you're his 'only' flirt and hook up in 10 years? Let alone an Italian one? Please stop putting his gf down. You're doing this to make yourself feel better about what you're doing and also to excuse what you are doing. So, if she was hot and thinner, would you still feel 'above her' and a 'better person'? I don't see you being a better person than her seeing as you're fooling around with her boyfriend and YOUR boss. Any reaction to the security camera possibility? Or maybe someone saw you two making out? Never say never. You're in for a reality check sooner or later and I just hope you realize what you're doing has major consquences. the only reason i have a problem with his girlfriend is because when i met her she was extremely drunk and extremely rude, not only to me but to some of the other staff. about the security cameras, there are none in the service exit, and we were inside of my car so nothing could be seen there as well... I am only going to be working at this place for another 2 months or so because then I am moving to the other side of the country....
CarrieT Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 I say I am more attractive than her because physically she is slightly overweight, and I am not... Total non sequitur. There ARE men who like women who are slightly overweight; preferring the Marilyn Monroe type to a Kate Moss. You are completely delusional by your own body image and not engaged in the psychology about why you are doing this. Using the "abject sexual chemistry" story is so old and so lame. It never lasts and can only end badly; either someone at work will see it, the girlfriend will catch you, or you will get pregnant after getting caught up in the affair. You need to ask yourself why you are willing to risk your job for a little nooky? 2
MissBee Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Ok so I posted here a couple of days ago about sexual tension with my manager. and the story continues. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/cheating-flirting-jealousy/317664-extreme-sexual-tension-my-manager I stayed after work the other night and had a couple of glasses of wine with him.. when we were leaving we started making out passionately in the service exit of my work... realizing this was a little too risky. He walked me to my car in the parking structure and pushed me agaist the passenger door and started making out with me. ***Sorry this is about to get a little sexually graphic*** So after pushing me up against my car, he opens the passenger door and pulls me in on top of him, hes like grinding against me etc. ends up pulling up my shirt, licking my nipples, puts his hand down my pants, fingers me, and were just making out for what seems liek forever. He tried to leave about 5 times but we ended up just kissing again. The parts that concern me: A) he has a girlfriend that he has lived with for 7 years, who I've met and is not cool at all... but she is much bigger than I am and is a little intimidating. I am more attractive than she is and this is an obvious threat. B) is it possibile for this to continue with no one finding out at my work? I for sure am not going to say anything because I don't want to risk either of us losing our jobs... I know this should stop but it is so sexy it's hard to deny.. Any advice? Has anyone else had a similar experience with their managers or bosses? I'm not sure how any of the graphics aided the point of your story. You could have still stated your concerns without those details Anyway....it's a bad idea....bad idea to mix business and pleasure. This is a cardinal rule for a reason..... A little frolic is not worth it IMO....unless you are desperate.
jwi71 Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 My advice is to stop. I'm not sure of your age but your coming across as young and somewhat naive. Actually, enjoy it while you can. I remember my stupid days of chasing skirts without a care in the world. In that sense, the one where you can rack up a good number of sexual experiences and lovers, go for it. Go nuts. But not TOO nuts. And choosing a committed partner is TOO nuts. Its something you will likely regret down the road. There is saying 'round here that is SO true. Oft spoken among us men (but applies to women too): Men lie about the number of partners they have to their friends - its invariably fewer than what is said. Then in time, they lie about the number of partners they HAVEN'T had to their wives - its invariably MORE than what is admitted. Try to have fewer lies to your future partner and avoid admissions you would rather not make. Go crazy...just not TOO crazy. And a commited partner is something you will regret later in life. I'd try and minimize those regrets in life.
BrighterWashing Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 I'm not attacking you. It sounds like he's a sleaze with power in your job. But I just want to say something about your comparison with his partner. H's OW was "better looking" than I am by a long way. I am disfigured through no fault of my own and also overweight and not tall. She is tall, very skinny and not disfigured. If you want details she's not perfect, she has a large nose and flat chest but overall she's better looking. However- I've been loved by 3 men in my life who were serious committed Lon term relationships. Two I ended and 1 is H who I have allowed to stay and try to make up for the A. One of the ex boyfriends is still pining for me 12 years later. I wish he wasn't but I know he really loved me. And I know they loved me for myself not for what I looked like or novelty value. OW on the other hand is convinced men only want her for her looks. As she gets older and older she worries no one will want her and says she knows her H would never have married her if she looked like me. Do although she's better looking- I wouldn't want to be in her place for anything. Or yours. I'd rather be plain and know when I was loved it was real love! I would just caution you about crowing too much about being better than she is. It sounds like he doesn't love you he just wants a bit of skirt for a while. I'd rather be me than have that to worry about.
MissBee Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 The whole point of looks is ridiculous frankly, as 1. everyone has different tastes...so whether or not you think the wife is attractive matters not as you're not the one who married her and sleeps with her etc. 2. there will ALWAYS be someone who looks better than you or your partner, so what? 3. Attraction and looks aren't the same, someone can be a good looking person but you're not attracted to them, or better yet, you can find someone physically appealing but not be emotionally attached to them. So I don't see what's the point of bringing up how much better you look etc. Looks alone do not make or keep a relationship together. Gorgeous celebrity women who their looks basically pay their bills get cheated on, and some of the women their men cheat with are not nearly as stunning as they are....so what does that tell you? I personally have known many attractive men who I was not attracted to or emotionally drawn to...and known less attractive men whom I felt incredibly attracted to. Sooo the business of whether or not YOU think you're prettier is completely irrelevant. Whether or not you're actually prettier is of little consequence in the whole matter and being focused on that says quite a lot of not so good things about you.
frozensprouts Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 is the risk of this relationship worth the reward? what are you getting out of it, and what is the risk involved in getting it? it sounds like you view this as a "harmless fling', but flings can have a way of coming back to bite you in the rear. It it worth all that hassle just to have a quick "roll in the hay" ( or, in this case, the parking lot) with a guy who's already involved with someone else?
Emme Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Any advice? Stop allowing men with dirty hands to finger f*ck you. Start job hunting just in case. Also ask for a reference letter... you never know. The rule usually is don't sh*t where you eat. You've chosen to so be prepared for hell when things come to light. Good luck.
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