bekki10 Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 I have been on/off with my boyfriend now for years. we keep splitting up because I dont trust him and he can get aggressive at times but can also be really nice too and because I love himIi keep going back and giving him chances.! This weekend he has really angered me again and now I have had enough of the way he is towards me I just want to lock him off!! I went down there at the weekend and I got all dressed up nice and he said I was looking hot and we went out and when we got to the venue he left me kinda in the corner walked away from me a little and started eyeing up the women in front of me! I watched him for a bit then I went up to him and said 'do u think i've travelled 200 miles to watch you do that' and he looked at me and called me an idiot and walked off and just left me there!! 5 mins later he was walking back towards me , went and sat at the other side of the room then about 5 mins after that came over and asked me what my problem is?? All night he wasnt giving me any attention he was just sitting there looking at others and didnt even dance with me or anything like he used too and I felt really crap! Then he was going in and out the place leaving me and at one point and was outside smoking chatting to other girls! I havn't been down to him in while cus we are always on/off and its because of how he is with the women that puts me off being with him properly! When I confront him about it he gets aggressive with me so I cant talk to him. Even when we was back at his flat he was showing me texts from nhs saying that hes test results were all good and thats the 3rd time this year he has been checked and he has always said that its only me he goes with. I have never been with anyone else in 7 years because of how ive felt about him and when I said why do u keep getting checked out when u have only been with me he says its routine and its because of me he gets checked it really upset me because I would never sleep about! I came back from his house quite angry and upset. He keeps asking me when im going down to see him again and I have told him that im not gonna travel 200 miles for him to act the way he does around me and his reply was you are soo ungreatful I paid for your ticket and cleaned my house for you to come over and all you can do is winge. Its really upset me the way he is towards me! Im not a bad looking girl and I do get alot of attention when im out but im never interested because of him and theres him acting like that when im around him, yet he tells me im the best looking girl there on the night and I look hot etc so I dont get why he would want to act that way when im there with him then when im back in my city he wants me around.
Diamonds&Rust Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 when we got to the venue he left me kinda in the corner walked away from me a little and started eyeing up the women in front of me! I watched him for a bit then I went up to him and said 'do u think i've travelled 200 miles to watch you do that' and he looked at me and called me an idiot and walked off and just left me there!! 5 mins later he was walking back towards me , went and sat at the other side of the room then about 5 mins after that came over and asked me what my problem is?? Both of you share responsibility for crappy communication. Your need for attention is valid. Your need to restrict his attention, I believe, is less valid. Either way, neither of you are communicating your needs or responding to your partner's needs in a healthy way. I said why do u keep getting checked out when u have only been with me he says its routine and its because of me he gets checked it really upset me because I would never sleep about! It's rude of him to say that he gets checked because of you, and actually contradicts the perfectly-reasonable idea that he's doing it as part of routine checks on his physical health. I say perfectly-reasonable because I sympathize with your boyfriend's desire to be healthy and not have that goal interpreted as evidence of mistrust. It is strange that he shows you the texts even though you're upset by them. Does he otherwise suggest that you're unfaithful? The reason I ask is that he may have just been in the heat of the moment of feeling like his own actions were giving off the impression that he's cheating behind your back. we keep splitting up because I dont trust him and he can get aggressive at times but can also be really nice too and because I love him Your reasons for splitting up are good ones. Your reasons for taking him back are not. This doesn't sound like a good relationship worth spending money and time on, it's probably best to cut your losses.
LoveToCuddle Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 (edited) I kinda agree! but if you really want to safe the relationship... First of all trust him or at least don't show him that you don't trust him eventhough I understand how you feel. Tell him you don't like it and you wan't your attention. Flirt with him like the old days. Then one of you have to stand ''above'' the situation. Try to stay positive and you will see if he puts the efford in it too. About the testing part. It seems just really weird to me. If I was you I would have asked for a better explanation. Seems like you guys really have to work at the communication. Probably it was there cause you're allready ''dating'' for years? I don't know who always makes the first step of talking or how often do you guys talk..But maybe you should just ignore him for a while and see what his reactions are to know if he's serious about you. Good luck.... :* Edited March 18, 2012 by LoveToCuddle
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