Exit Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Been broken up a few months now. Been miserable. Been letting her keep that spot on the pedestal in my mind. I don't want to jinx myself, but these last few days I think I'm finally getting over it. For the first time, I can say if she wanted to get back together right now, I would say no. That may not sound like a lot of progress, but it's a big step to be able to say that. And I think I'll always love her in a certain way but I may be realizing I'm not in love with this cruel person anymore. Finding out that she is seeing someone else already hurt at first and made me feel like a piece of garbage, but after I let it sink in, it just gave the confirmation of what type of person she is. We had been emailing for a bit the past few weeks and she even got around to apologizing and saying she knows something is wrong with her, probably a personality disorder, yada yada. Told me she probably got with me too soon after her last ex and she knows now that's a bad mistake to make. So here I thought she might actually be turning a corner, deciding to stay single for a while and get her own HUGE mess straightened out, and maybe I'd hear from her again some day or if not at least she'd be on a better path, but I guess the first second someone new came along, she forgot how messed up she is and decided to just subject someone else to her insanity. Yeah a few months is enough time for a dumper to move on, it's not like she did it the very next day, but still, we had gotten to the point of discussing marriage, and here she is telling me she realizes jumping from relationship to relationship isn't good, and now she's "engaged" to someone else online. This girl can't commit to a lunch meeting much less a relationship. Maybe it makes her feel like less of a failure about all the damage she did to our relationship, by faking some commitment to the new person already. Oh well. She's easy, her love is meaningless, and almost everything good about the relationship came from the efforts I made, the places I took us, the things I did for her. I've been going to therapy even though she is the abusive one with tons of baggage (but hey, I've read it's much more common for victims of people with issues to end up in therapy rather than the messed up people themselves). Looking forward to meeting someone new, when I'm ready. 1
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